Life commitments

As I have said so often-that I have committed to a number of things as a daily mission now that I am more master of my own time. Things that I try to make a habit of my daily life, which is not easy as we are so embedded in things from the past-things we have to unlearn that we have been doing since “forever” and try and embark on a new path, as we often have outgrown old ideas-well, maybe not old, but more crystalized ideas, now it is time to change the “crystal lattice” into other forms. Not an easy task, as one often slips back into old habits-like Sisyphus . 

But I have come a long way in so may areas that at times I amaze myself, and other times I get frustrated and at times practice some self-flagellation, but these times have become less and less with time. But, “one step at a time” has become my favorite phrase as it works like magic. Looking at the immediate picture, as the larger picture unfolds-which really is being more present, being more mindful and being more receptive, being more observant. This causes me tremendous joy and happiness-and I just love this stage of my life that is filled with light and grace.

I find that developing rituals work great for me, though I slip at times, overall I keep to it in a journal-it is a visual for me to see how I am doing. I have done this for years, generally as a “new year`s resolution” which often in the past terminated on the 10<sup>th</sup> of January-but the past two years or so, I have been very focused and kept to it mostly. I don`t beat myself up for messing up any more-I take everything one day at a time. Daily affirmations, meditation, contemplation, prayers, mantras, gratefulness, observation, reading a few Rumi quotes  and mindfulness daily really help- plus a lot of actual physical practices really completes the circle for me. 

I have let go of all emotional baggage-I didn`t have much, but even that little I had I have allowed to drift away-and I have no regrets about my life whatsoever. I am doing a lot of research regarding all areas of life-especially life extension that I still share with many of my special patients, friends and family members. Much is out there in science and new technology based-that we can do to remain healthy and defy our chronological age even by changing a few things in our lives. But-one needs to do it-it is a kind of an offering, for no one else will do it for us-and nothing in life that is worth anything comes easy. Living with illness, being dependent, wheelchair bound, mental problems, brain degeneration and depressed is not a plan of mine for the future. It is the quality of life that is important, then one should aspire to at least becoming a centenarian with a purpose, mental clearity, and a well functioning mind-otherwise, it is just a life of suffering.

For years focus was on my family, my patients and the day to day stresses and struggles with life. Life of a “living robot”-would be a great term for it. Now-it is now all about me in every way, and self improvement. Repayment for what I have done? Perhaps, I have always been honest, open, genuine, compassionate, non-judgemental and true always to my words, neither have I broken my promises .  I cling dearly to memories of the past, but do not inhabit those places-just visit at times. I do keep records, messages and mementos, notes of things that are near and dear to me. I press flowers, leaves,-collect  shells, rocks, pebbles, driftwood-they are all special reminders for me of special , or memorable moments that has touched me deeply-be it small or big. I try to write a few words on stones and pebbles often-I have done this for years. Just little things-so I remember for I do believe those are the things that we actually will take with us into our next existence.

I guess I learnt many of all my values from my beloved grandfather, who was a great example of numerous noble virtues regarding life in every way. He had such respect for every aspects of life. I have tried to follow his path mostly in my own life. I have helped thousands of people throughout the years and did everything for my family with love-and with love in mind. I guess it all comes back what one sends out-and I am so blessed and grateful for God allowing me this.

I have a deep connection and reverence regarding-all life. Trees, plants and all types of vegetation and all the various little critters hanging around inside and out. I never throw out if there is still a tiny spark of life in any of our plants, as many are in pots on our three large decks. Their lives matter and are of value -they are sacred and are all a gift. My apartment downstairs is huge, and if filled with some wonderful plants, more so starting in the fall as many come in from the garden,-I give them the choice to live or die-some do as they don`t like living inside though there is a lot of light and a huge glass sliding door with sunlight even streaming in many hours in the afternoon ; even more so in winter than summer. But life is their choice, my mission is to give them a chance to choose. Even they have been given free will-it is up to us to help them exercise that. I am sure that if we do the best we can that is all that God wants-and He will be pleased with that-as Thomas Merton has so eloquently said.

Why did I write all this? Well-to myself really just as a reminder not to slip too much and to remember my mission, commitment and keep me on track. Also, one day when my child and grandchildren will read this with different eyes. They do now, but as time goes by words seem to take on a different meaning and often mean different things as one`s vision regarding life changes.

Historical moment

The other day I was watching the first space walk by two women outside the ISS. The comments were made that this was a huge historical moment for the world. This got me thinking as some questions and thoughts arose in my mind. This is not really so, at all. Isn`t each moment history making-isn`t every action or even non-action  of creation an enormous historical moment, for without that specific action from the least of us changes the world. 

As I walk thought our beautiful forest each morning and I see the fallen decaying moss covered trees lying on the floor of the forest, the colourful falling leaves dancing in the wind, the squirrels scurrying about, the salmon splashing in our river as they swim to their special yearly spawning area. Even all the myriads of stones and pebbles lying at the edge of our river bed, the pieces of driftwood, and the families of loons swimming with their babies makes a monumental difference to the life of not just the forest but to the planet as a whole.Without every blade of grass, every ant, every little green frog, every tiny aphid the world, our planet would be entirely different. They each have an individual mission with the contribution of their lives-be it long or short.

So-everything and everyone is a “historical moment” that leaves its legacy behind, makes its mark -whether we see it or not, it is present never to be erased. Everything single thing in creation- animate and inanimate is a contributor to this magical historical moment which changes us, changes the planet and changes creation. Everything-even the tiny fruit flies whose life span is measured in hours contributes to this mystical experience that we call life. 

Nothing is here for nothing-so then if that is the case, are we not tied into the circle of creation, with no separations. Are we ourselves then not a simple moment of history? Is not then each and every moment a historical moment? And if we accept this then, then is not everything the “Creator”.....or God? Is this not this huge, mystical unfolding or expansion of a creative force-that in essence is us.....are we not then a fragment of God-the “eternal creative force”?

To Lucy-my anam cara!

 
Contigliano, Italy

Life often touches us in the strangest of ways. At times is just a passing moment, that remain for a lifetime, and at times long relationships get forgotten and fade into the mist of the past. Today I was touched by what I call “an eternal moment” by a a friend, whom I never really met, but perhaps we have in some distant time, as is written in many sacred script. It is said that the soul recognizes its counterpart with whom it has spent much of “the eternal moment” somewhere back in time. I so wish to think. As John O`Donohue, the wonderful mystic Irish poet philosopher would say in Gaelic an “anam cara” a soul friend, called Lucy. I don`t have that many-only two on FB, strangely enough they are both Italian.

Long story short of the background and now.....A little while ago I decided to take a break from FB as it was consuming much of my time-not that I ever regret it, for every single one of my registered friends were and are truly special to me. I read each word they had written and answered it, not just with a “like” but a few words of my thoughts. That is why we really post things on FB don`t we? To get acknowledgement, and hope that perhaps what we post others may feel the same emotion about it as we do. That makes everybody feel good. But I decided to disengage a while, not because of not getting a response, but I wanted to say too many things to each special soul, and that took much time as I did not want to make exceptions. Maybe this sounds strange and absolutely crazy but all of us have a small touch of insanity within us...some more than others.

 An other reason was also that I wanted to devote more time to writing my blogs-I have a couple of closed ones, this is the open one that I have had since 2012. Not that I am a great writer, I just write as an expression of the dictates of my soul-and through this I am more conscious of life overall, more mindful at seeing with the eyes of spirit, more connected and brings me much joy. It gives me reasons to contemplate, think and devote more time to more spiritual things which are the real reasons for our existence. Again-not that I am that spiritual, but I hope as an excerpt from Thomas Merton`s prayer says-”My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please You.”

Back to this post...in the here. Yesterday as I was writing a blog you, dear Lucy came to my mind-I actually went on FB to see what was happening in your life -and looked at your latest pictures, the posts, that are now mostly in Italian. All the photos of the family are just wonderful, and Joe looks great. You look as beautiful, happy and sweet as ever-never aged a day through the years as I see it. You just glow and radiate a light of deep joy. The little ones-the little future stars, are just gorgeous. You can be real proud to have such a beautiful, loving family. You are truly blessed all around in every way even in what you are doing-loving tennis. That is a special gift from God. Your little town looks as magical as ever-and I know you are so in love with it as you post so many awesome photos of it. But you are right-one can fall in love with such a place with such history and magic. 

So.... lo and behold, today I received a beautiful pink rose from you-and some soul touching words. It is never the quantity of anything but the quality and the emotions it evokes,  How is this possible? Who knows God works in mysterious ways-He is the true “alchemist of souls”. 

Thank you my dearest “anam cara”, my soul friend Lucy. I am humbled and deeply touched that you have thought of me. The ties of spirit are deep indeed, which is love-"agape" which is not romantic love, but love of spirit.  which has no distance nor concept of time. We have no idea how the heart and soul work, but through reminders like these events we are reminded that there is more to life than what we actually see. We are also reminded that some of the most important connections are invisible only seen through eyes of the soul. 

Be always blessed my "anam cara"  with all that is positive, may God keep you and your family safe always and may the happiest days of your life lie just ahead of you. May joy, peace and love of Our Lord and Blessed Mother embrace you always . Thank you for your kindness, thoughtfulness and love. I appreciate it more than you can ever imagine! 

Love and light to you, and all the best to your family- Namaste....Suzanne

You are welcome to my blog anytime, or pass it along....I have many people all around the world reading it -I hope you shall be one of them also.

My story on life

A time comes in life when in the midst of all the tears, fears and insanity a voice inside one`s head cries out-”time for a change of direction”. One realizes that fighting and crying, or struggling to hold onto things, ideas, beliefs and outdated things that are of no value any more are just insanity. One realizes that the incessant crying is of no value either. Thus, the time arrives when one needs to shake one`s self and dust one`s self off and see the world through a new pair of eyes, on a new path.

This is the “ transformation phase”, a metamorphosis of sort-the merging butterfly from the cocoon. A step up to the next rung of consciousness or to a more panoramic vision of existence. A realization descends upon one that it is time to change all previous thoughts and convictions. A new paradigm is arising, it has actually arrived. Hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety, security to come will never never happen-one needs to come to terms with it, which is the first step. Step two, is that it will only happen if one creates it- actually do something about it. Suddenly there is a realization that there is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and that life needs action to work. 

The real world is an illusion with endings and beginnings that we ourselves write. Remember “The Alchemist”? All control belongs to us. All events, all twists and turns in life -but remember ”be careful for what you wish for; for you may just get it” steps in here. All begins with “I” and in the process, a sense of peace, joy, acceptance and manifestation happens. One needs to see the truth that one can help save the world to some degree, but it is not always possible. One needs to learn to deal with evil in its most primal state- which is “ego”. All negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment should be redirected or they will suffocate the life out of one and poison the universe that surrounds us. Admitting when one is wrong, taking responsibility that enhances spirit. Never burn those bridges, just forgive and forget.

None of us are perfect-but one can strive to be the best one can ever be, through that process one generates happiness within the heart and soul. One needs to accept the fact that one shall never be loved by everyone, neither shall one be appreciated by all every time. So what? Who cares about who thinks what. One should never blame others for anything,-just get over it and cast all the crap to the wind. However forgiveness is the greatest of all virtues. Holding grudges is not worth the effort or energy. Acceptance, self approval, self confidence and self love is the main basis for being happiness and contentment. Self reliance, self esteem, self worth are very uplifting and satisfying. Standing on one`s own feet gives one a sense of power, security and the feeling of well being. Honesty, compassion and integrity are still important values in the world today-one needs to cultivate it through daily actions.

Judging others and carrying emotional baggage is a huge burden to carry-one needs to let it go . Purging and discarding all the emotional junk, thoughts, fears from life is as necessary for both body and spirit. The latest ads to sell things, the latest craze, the latest fads, the latest fashion are all transitory. None of us will take anything with us once we leave this earthly realm. Behaving and acting as to what spirit dictates  not as to what the modern world dictates is the real way-shower. One needs to realize that there is a major difference between need and want, and to know that difference. Having more stuff is not necessarily more satisfying. Looking within, not without as to what one has outgrown, be that people, beliefs, values or thinking should be recognized-things that are outdated in one`s life one needs  to go. Allow and give it permission  to float away. No matter what happened revenge is never an option-as it does have a boomerang affect.

It is true that life  is all about love. However one needs to learn that it is far more divine to give than to receive, especially without wanting anything in return. That is real love, without ties-entirely unconditional. What one sends out comes back many times-law of karma. Love needs to be learnt and cultivated be that romantic love or familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away one needs to learn. 

The last one is real hard, as we cling to it through sweet memories, the great feelings it generates within us,  and the romance of it. Realistic look at relationships as they really are, need to be seen, and not desire as one would love to have it. That is the eternal truth-though one rebels against it at times. Situations and outcome cannot be controlled, people cannot be changed, one can only change one`s self. Time shows that people grow and change, so it is with love. Everyone deserves to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and one should not settle for less-love can never be demanded. One should be cherished for “total self” in every sense, for all else, it is worthless and not love. 

Love as with all aspects of life has to be on our own terms first, never on an other`s needs or wants. Real deep love is a compromise, understanding  and a total balance. Do I believe this is possible-I do. As all my relationships have been positive-whether it continued or not-it all has been a loving, and a memorable experience forever -and I still love deeply all the people whom I loved and who have loved me. Love is eternal, however at a certain time one needs to just bless it and allow it to go until the meeting of souls the next time.

One needs to writes one`s own legend-that is our inheritance. The universe has a plan, God is always with us, He is always right and He always has a reason for everything.

Power within

Rumi is right when he says that all and everything is within us-including everything that has ever and will exist. And I mean everything possible that exists-physical , mental and spiritual. How this is I haven`t the faintest idea, but if one observes life with mindfulness, it becomes crystal clear. That is the reason why it is possible to manifest anything that one can conceive-and bring it into what we perceive as the “physical existence “. 

This is just a simple explanation of the brain. But, remember that the brain has little to do with existence, it is simply a relay station as the mind is not the brain. Time is not linear as today`s physicists tell us, though such as myself with a linear brain is rather a difficult picture to imagine anything else. But I accept it-and try and blend it into my life. 

Why I actually think this is true as that I have experienced its effects as well as its affects . All the great masters have told us this, in their the sacred writings. This is what they were telling us about enlightenment, about raising consciousness, about prayers and about us being gods-with a small “g”, as we are a fractal of the big “G” or creator force, and we awake this inherent internal wisdom starts to become more clear. Our ancient gift or grace is activated.
 
One can actual demonstrate this.If you really want something-be it material or spiritual, you can make it happen at will. This is where “free will” comes in that is stated in most, if not all religions. The 3 keys is; visualization which is belief or faith, acceptance which is calling it forth or having a vehicle for it, and finally gratefulness which is the connecting energy flow to the central matrix or creative force. You can actually experiment with this-first with little things, and as you get better. You can do it with greater things. 

Now let me be clear-this is not just for material things, but everything that is of the mind or spirit, anything that one can conceive. Believe me it is very easy-the difficulty is when you have doubt, which becomes an impenetrable barrier, and impediment  that we create. You can walk on water as Peter did, but once he realized what he was doing-”doubt” crept in , up went the barrier and he sank. This is the reason why practice is so important-it gives you a strong base-or belief that with practice becomes stronger and gets incorporated into the brain-which is the relay station.

Everything you do or want first have a clear picture with every detail in place, using all of the senses....and just see it happen, but do not put a time frame on it as that is a human, physical trait-allow the universe. First say what you want clearly and then say “thank you very much for all you have done until now, -but if it is not to be, even then it is good”. And end with and “Amen”. [ My actual word translated from Hungarian-as I always say it in that language in my mind] The “Amen” actually means in Hebrew “it is so” or “so it be.” as you are allowing it and giving it energy. Do not use it frivolously, only with sincerity, for good and for truth. However be careful, for it works in every way and direction, and that is a dangerous weapon  to wield, for everything has a boomerang affect. 

I also think this is how miracles work, prayers to specific saints for specific things. As Catholics we have many that are for specific reasons. Here are a few- St Jude for lost hope, St Rita for things impossible, St Anthony for finding lost things, St Francis for animals, St Joseph for family and to sell a house and  so on....including specific angels or names of God, the "72" from the Kaballah. Look up and learn about your own!  Mine is angel Lelahel.

Also physical manifestations like "stigmata" , spontaneous remissions are all based on this. This is why Jesus said: "You can do even greater works than I" .  Also many others of different belief systems have also said this, not specific to Christians.  It is the total acceptance and belief that triggers the manifestation.

A small post script-this came to me when I was about 4 years old-and what ever I wanted would happen. Originally I used the few “magic words” when my parents were fighting-when I did this they like magic would stop-and so it grew from there. I always made the sign of the cross after Amen-as I still do to this day. I hope you use this for the good of yourself and others. And a small piece of advice-do not abuse this power, use it wisely. And so it is. 

Revisiting: Do it

2:18:13/ Channeling from BVM

It is exactly what you have to be doing. You have been led to this point you have followed the Light. Now learn listen and act well. This is for the good of spirit and soul not only of you, but the ones around you. Often this may seem like a hollow request but remember it is not always what you see, how you see it for mostly all takes place below the surface. So be that you see and observe the results or not that does not mean that the actual results have not been achieved.

As you were told this time is far different to all others.  Do not be dissatisfied with what you perceive as marking time or no results. Every single action has a reaction somewhere on your planet somewhere within visible creation as well as the invisible. Though all seems static it is rather fluid and you both together are moving forward. One ripple of a tiny pebble in the water affects everything.

The exercise that you have introduced will produce much action on various levels. The image that is present has much to do with the activation of the force of energy that you are learning about-especially the violet, which should eventually include an electric green during meditation. Not everything is symbolic much is literal and should be perceived as such.

Continue and familiarise yourself with that which you have always known but simple have forgotten. Recall, revisit that which always "is". Think, touch all, that needs that flow of energy that will guide you back into the realm of spirit whence you came. Guide and lead those that hear you voice that which in fact is my voice.

At times you wonder that these messages are hollow words, however they are simply a way to make you think that there is more than you see and to remember, to connect. Believe that everything that transpires on these pages are as real as that which you perceive as real in your world. At times it may seem futile or indiscernible truths, but truths they are. You hear and soul knows how to interpret the words and the resonance of the messages. All you need to do is respond and open up and allow the flow to continue through you and with you. As has been stated you cannot, neither will you achieve this alone only if you co-operate on various level within "one". Understanding that "one "means "one" is at time difficult to embrace  and may even seen unnatural in the scheme of things but it is not, as you will learn as you progress through your steps. Learn well my child for the ways, the pointers the answers are within those instructions for  you, all my children who hear.

You are hearing, you are seeing and you shall and are acting according to my "will". Be aware of signs.  This you were told of time and time again-thus you are reminded of this now. Don`t be slack in non observance for much may be in the strangest of places.  Observe -"Isten" and hear and act. Keep a record , as you discover more and more your faith and vision shall grow. Thus the "energy field" shall grow and the expansion of soul shall speed up. Your consciousness will open up and you shall see with your "third eye" . Remember well, "faith" is not necessarily religion; it is not at all. Faith is but a choice of acknowledgement of a universal creative force-with "all names and no names" with different avenues to its center.

You keep wanting to have proof. Your mind is screaming but that is ego that is starting to feel trapped as it is being more and more caged, thus look not,  wonder not, nor seek not for you have found it. Just accept, allow and be.   You can make anything happen you can perform miracles you can will anything into being. Try it, just do it. Concentrate on the field of violet and electric green.