The ordinary life

“I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness—it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.” ~Brené Brown

My brother has built a successful career, an extremely lucrative dental practice, with three offices making tremendous amount of money. Now he is building this gorgeous mega mansion-12,000sq. feet of a dream house-indoor pool, movie theater and everything that one can imagine is in it, and I ask myself-would this make me happy? Not at this point in my life-though I have had my fair share of success in life-but now that I am older I seem to have turned a corner, and that no longer interest me.  

For the longest time I sought after happiness in the wrong place, and I wasn’t always leading with my heart to obtain joy. I had a big house, the pool, the European vacations and the trimmings-but now for the past few years I haven`t even renewed my passport. I am happy to be home-desiring to go nowhere and my priorities have changed tremendously.

I have come to the conclusion that I am entirely fulfilled and satisfied with my life at this point. I need nothing, want nothing, desire nothing. And when I look at it that way-I am so very grateful for every moment for being where I am and who I am. I have joy, peace of mind and no emotional baggage. I am happy.

I have learned that it’s not important at all to have that huge house-been there done that, have the T-shirt,  and I have realized what I want now, I already have. I have in a way outgrown the idea of “accumulating more stuff”. I am now  fortunate to live in a moderate home with exactly the things I need, and  much more-for I am happy and joyful. I have the forest, the river and surrounded by love. I am taking it easy-relaxing more, communing with nature and God more on a daily basis-stressing less about the small stuff. I do work-but not as much, maybe I will get back to that more later in time- but today is time to smell the roses, the cut fresh grass and the fragrance of the moment.

Prior to gaining the wisdom of wanting less, I spent a lot of time and effort on material things, because, I thought I deserved it-and that it would make me happy. It did for a long time, but when it did not do  that anymore-I needed to change the plan. So, I did-radically.  

Being thankful for the essentials allows me to live more simply. Thankfulness reminds me of what I have to be grateful for in my current state of life, and that helps me be more present. To be more in tune with the “universe or God”. The best moment is the “now”. Practicing gratitude has enabled me to be entirely present which has become a habit that I practice daily. No I am far from being a saint- but I do get Brownie points for trying, I hope.

I am thankful for my family every day- I love being with them. Life is far too short to squander the moments, there isn`t a minute to waste-mom is 91 and even my grandchildren are growing up. They are truly my favorite people and I love being with them as much as possible. Our family lives very close, almost walking distance to each other-that is such an awesome warm feeling. We are indeed blessed.

Prior to practicing daily gratitude, it was easiest to take frustrations out on them first. Why? Because I am most comfortable expressing myself with them, and they put up with me and love me no matter what. These days if I get the urge to be angry or short tempered -I catch myself literally-and say, ”why am I doing this?” –and I try to self correct.

I want to leave this world knowing that I tried to give people the best version of who I am, with the hope that they know how thankful I am for them. I have so many inspirational and joyful souls around me who inspire me daily to be the best that I can be.  Who love me unconditionally, as I love them. Practicing gratitude has led me to greater happiness and a better me-hopefully.

"Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale"-it truly has.

My fur kids

Oh to be a cat. I have some wonderful fur kids-I just adore them. I was always a dog person ever since I can remember, but a number of years ago, twenty to be exact –by providence or rather by my daughter who at the time had her first child and  had a kitty named Evie, that constantly peed in the cot, decided that I should adopt her. I still had my Doberman Shaka-the Zulu, as well as my beloved spaniel, Dennis. So, my fur family grew-and they did live very peacefully together-if only us humans could do the same thing. They had their misunderstandings but overall it was one happy family.

As the years went by, sadly Dennis after a wonderful life of 17 years one Victoria Day morning walked out of the house never to return-I guess he did not want me to grieve-I did anyway , but I suppose it wasn`t as bad had I seem him dying. Then Shaka-my gentle giant got hit by a car breaking his back on a Good Friday about 2 years later-we tried everything to save him, but to no avail-so Evie became my solitary fur kid for many years.

Strange thing cats-they pick up thoughts- whenever she was in the garden all I had to think” Now where is that cat?”-imagine her in my mind, and she would appear as if my magic. Cats are extremely good at this, they know what you are thinking. Then I moved into my apartment-and she was as happy as a pig in a poke-at the old house I had my sister and her family living upstairs and my brother-in-law wasn`t really a cat person, Evie knew this and wasn`t entirely happy with the situation.

So moving was just great for her-she totally rejuvenated, became almost like a young cat again, though she was around 15 at the time. Cats have an amazing spirit life if one really thinks about it and observes. You always know when a cat is happy or depressed.  Sadly, about 3 years later she died peacefully in the living room-she had a great life and was deeply loved. I was sad- never an other cat nor dog I swore-I was dead wrong.

My brother Oliver some weeks later, turned up with two fur kids- to cheer me up; a black cat like Evie was named Alice, and a black and white tuxedo cat-he named Felix. He was a bit grumpy, and that was his original name -but we rechristened him and he became Felix. From then on he was rather a happy fellow and did become my favourite, though I would never really show it-for each one got lots of my love equally ;- equal massages, tummy rubs, pats and kisses- and many terms of endearments.

Then-though I had told my daughter –“don`t you ever dare get an other cat-as I will not adopt it. Two is enough for me, for I know eventually I will need to parent it.” She did anyway-and after about two years-Chloe arrived literally on my doorstep-my daughter  Laurissa was crying and begging me to take her in, as she had to move and no cats were allowed at the new place. My fur family grew suddenly-what can I say I love them all-they are all individual personalities.

Then last year we moved into the country. Immediately they were in their element-they adore the garden, the river and the freedom. Often I receive presents in the form of a field mouse, or a cricket at the foot of my bed-they are such characters.

Sadly-Felix suddenly got a stroke, and went suddenly blind, then deaf-for months he went slowly downhill. He slept with me every night with my arms around him. Eventually I had to feed him daily, give him water like a baby-but he was so loved. It broke my heart to see him that way, but I said God will take him when He sees fit. Then in May he was really bad- and he died in my arms. We had  a long goodbye and a prayer to St Francis to help him on his journey –I promised him we shall meet later on , not to worry and it is fine to go. He did-my little fur angel took a long deep sigh a small shiver, and he was gone.  That night, he was taken away by the river to kitty heaven.

Now I have sweet Chloe, my callico and Alice-frolicking in the garden, lazying down by the river, often chasing butterflies and squirrels. Sleeping in the grass amongst the wildflowers-now, the weather is getting cooler, the trees are changing, so they spend a little less time outside. They both keep a strong eye like a policeman-Alice is the chief and Chloe is the assistant- on my mom`s fur kid-Fonzie, making sure that he never leaves the property; if he ventures off a little, they both are on his case, chasing him back. They are so much fun to watch as they do the police work.  

Yes- cats are amazing once you get to know their heart and soul. When they have a misunderstanding-hissing at each other, all I need to say is; " we have to love each other now- we really must"-then they look at each other, look at me  and stop-turn and walk away. They are hilarious.

Forgetting

“What is t your greatest fear” she asked…

“To be forgotten” I tell her.

“But not just that.

To be forgotten by a person

who I could never forget”

 The above was a paste on my FB today-and from the response from people is very moving. Mostly all have regrets and deep sadness and pain. I have to admit this is one of my greatest of fears also-for if this happens than I  would feel that perhaps all was in vain. I don`t mind that one`s life  takes a different path, we come to crossroads and have to part-but to forget or not being remembered is the most painful, devastating thought for me.

But then, there are relationships that perhaps are just simply physical for some, or for some egotistical reason for momentary pleasure-those were not based on love anyway. Those times I am sure neither party cares or thinks about remembering-but when the soul is touched-then, there is that fire of love. It maybe brief, or long-the result is the same-it leaves its eternal mark on the soul. 

Time is  irrelevant-it could be a one night stand, that one special moment that one remembers forever, never ever forgets- or relationships that were many years in the making. We touch a number of souls in our lifetime-none of it is ever in vain, or wrong-just seems so for a brief time when we break up-when the ego rages in oh so many ways. But we never really leave whom we once loved, (love)-that is the message. We become enmeshed within the fabric of each other for always- whether we are physically present or not. This is the beauty of love.

I have always understood the impermanence of life, of relationships-but love is never impermanent, it is the most permanent thing in creation ever. Thus as I have stated in many different forms in previous posts, that I am one to consciously make memories-and through that imprinting on the heart, one tends to remember and not forget. It does not mean that one does not move on, one has to-it is the way of the universe. 

To date, I have been lucky-for I know that I am remembered, which makes me very happy; and I have to add that I too remember with love-and  rather vividly many of the experiences. I feel I am deeply connected to those I have loved –those that I still love. I am very conscious of the people who have touched my life, and have exited  my temporal life-but not the eternal.

Now, this love that remains is not the romantic version, but more so the spiritual, cosmic version-that is the remembrance and the connection that we are in some way one. Perhaps we are all in search of our soul families, our soul brethren-and these are the souls that after much searching we eventually find. With whom we shall once again in the future-somewhere in time or in an other dimension shall  meet up again.

Forgetting I would consider the real loss for the heart, I would categorically state for the soul is tragic-probably more than anything else. It is the saddest and most painful experience that I could ever imagine.  

On romance

The mind is a strange creature indeed-it plays tricks, it lies but it also tells the truth, well if we allow it voice, especially when it comes to love. The problem is that often the ego gets in the way-and it out chatters the rational mind by whispering romantic notions to the heart. All is illusion-“maya”, yet we live and die by our perception of reality- for we are easily fooled into its game because we so want to believe in the beauty of love, the permanence of love, of being wanted and to be needed, we often lose sight of the truth. We are on a quest for that mythical idea from the time we experienced that first kiss-till the day we die. For it is really a myth-but we love the idea of love. We are mesmerized  by the passionate love stories of old, by soul wrenching poetry, by self sacrifice to love itself -we know deep down that it is all a self generated myth,  but nonetheless-we yearn to experience those feelings that enflame the heart and we do everything in our power to make it as real as possible.

 We look and we search. We are bewitched by the passion that would make us want to die rather than not be in love. This romantic love, love forever- is the central idea of human happiness, which is very temporary. I think central among the features of romantic love is the fact that it consists in falling in love with love, often not with a concrete person.

However, romantic love, loves the higher passion, the spiritual ecstasy of love, not the body, and not so much really the physical act. I have to admit, but we women adore romantic love though,- we  love being swept off our feet, we long for more, to the point of death. “I would rather die” than lose the feeling of love and being loved -this is often a mantra of the romantic soul.

To feel the ecstasy of passion, romantic love entails a boundless desire, a longing for the infinite, a longing to “slip the surly bonds of time,” to escape from bodily limitations into the realm of the forever and the infinite. What the heart loves is the rarefied spiritual passion that only romantic lovers know. It loves the feeling of never being satisfied, of being always caught up in the longing, of dwelling in the sweetness of desire being lifted into the higher realms of passion.

Romance is like a drug-but  it cease to be once it fall into earthly realms, meaning once it becomes  mundane. Then reality sets in. As a friend said: “not a nice feeling to wake up next to a stranger with bad breath and  smelly feet.” No, for the sake of romantic love, it is much better for fulfillment to be delayed, for some obstacles to be put up, for a sword to be laid down between the longing  or a curtain drawn between the lover and the beloved. For the romantic passion to persist, -we, must must never get down to the nitty-gritty of daily life. But, do kindle that fire.

Keep romance simple and alive, don`t kill it-an other friend of mine once told me: ”if you want to kill love, get married”-good advice, don`t get married or even move in together. Keep the distance and remember that : “ absence makes the heart grow fonder”. Don`t meet every day-for then meetings lose their value for being special. Read the love letters as well as write them-many! Read Rumi often-aloud to each other, speak more of love rather than make love. Create romance as much as possible, spoil each other like crazy-does not need to depend on money.  Write love messages with a lipstick on the bathroom mirror, works every time. 

Pick up mementos when visiting places together like -pebbles, rocks and even wine bottle corks -don`t forget to date and place them. Funny the moment all comes flooding back when one sees them again. Create as many sweet memories as possible,-consciously, for later, no matter what happens, one can revisit and re-live them. Remember the present is rather short. Write a diary together-a paragraph each time you meet-works like magic. And daydream much,-together or separately, as well as  about making love to your beloved-in eternity.

Yeah, yeah- I am good at giving advice, but not so good at living it-trying though. (smily face)- but like any good physician will tell you: “do as I say, don`t do as I do”(an other smily face). But at the moment in time, I can`t complain-enjoying the present “now” until I fall back to earth-I hope not too soon.

Biocentricity

 From book /Biocentrism= "creation by consciousness. Lanza proposes a biocentrist theory which ascribes the answer to the observer rather than the observed. Consciousness creates reality. (we are the active agents), so [it is] suggesting that we are the entities that give meaning to the particular configuration of all possible outcomes we call reality."

 The following quote was one of the earlier one`s I took to heart from the late Wayne Dyer; “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”- this is “intention”, the energy that surrounds all of us. We can train ourselves to tune into this energy and step beyond our minds and egos. This has always been a very profound statement for my life-and in a way I always equated it with – positive change of focus. It is also how the idea of  “The secret” works-or prayer or how everything material is created, including the universe.  So in fact the idea of Shiva/Shakti principle is true- consciousness/energy, is the creative force.

Just the other day I  came across something very interesting, which finally I understand, - “biocentricity”. I will try and explain the way I see it, trying not to get in the weeds.  This gives more of a support to the idea that we are the actual creators of all- in fact we are the process, not of the process. I have heard it before, it has been out there a few years but never made sense to me, now it makes perfect sense ; Biocentric Universe Theory-a theory of everything , the idea that probably Einstein was chasing till the end. The reason why he never found it was that he failed to think that “consciousness “ was the creator, not the universe.

The hypothesis that "life creates the universe, rather than the other way around";--“consciousness” creates everything. This was proposed by the pioneering stem-cell biologist Robert Lanza in 2007, based on ideas by the great 20th century physicist John Archibald Wheeler.

This is a radical change in the way we view the world and our place in it. It proposes that the physical universe evolves in tandem with the evolution of earthly life. The universe exists specifically in relation  to us — similar to how the position and appearance of a rainbow is dependent upon the position of the person seeing it, and is not a fixed, absolute object. According to biocentricity, the universe is incredibly complex not because it just is, but rather, because the biological organisms observing it have become incredibly complex. Today the universe appears in a highly defined, information-rich form to us humans, a species that has achieved an advanced form of consciousness. There is no independent external universe outside of biological existence.

This is perhaps most vividly illustrated by the famous two-slit experiment. When someone watches a subatomic particle or a bit of light pass through the slits, the particle behaves like a bullet, passing through one hole or the other. But if no one observes the particle, it exhibits the behavior of a wave that can inhabit all possibilities—including somehow passing through both holes at the same time.

 This phenomena has been demonstrated by Dossey also, regarding prayer-where some in the experiment had a preconceived idea of the outcome-then the experiments outcome was thus. Merely being aware of the experiment is enough.

From Wikipedia:

"Seven principles form the core of biocentrism. The first principle of biocentrism is based on the premise that what we observe is dependent on the observer, and says that what we perceive as reality is “a process that involves our consciousness.” The second and third principles state that “our external and internal perceptions are intertwined” and that the behavior of particles “is inextricably linked to the presence of an observer,” respectively. The fourth principle suggests that consciousness must exist and that without it “matter dwells in an undetermined state of probability.” The fifth principle points to the structure of the universe itself, and that the laws, forces, and constants of the universe appear to be fine-tuned for life. Finally, the sixth and seventh principles state that space and time are not objects or things, but rather tools of our animal understanding. Lanza says that we carry space and time around with us “like turtles with shells.”

Now without being very scientific, for that I am not-the bottom line is that “consciousness” creates  by observation-which makes sense . All of creation involves our very selves, breaking the assumption that the “universe is out there” into which we arrived into. Conscious perception creates a working universe-by observation, the wave function of a photon collapse, thus a particle pair of electrons are created  in a single atom, this is called entanglement, sharing the wave function -thus possibility becomes a reality. If one particle of the wave function collapses, no matter where the other one collapses also. The entanglement process happens faster that 10.0000 the speed of light according to  experiments at Geneva university. Quantum news travels rather fast not limited by external constraints. If one photon is observed to have a vertical polarization (its waves all moving in one plane), the act of observation causes the other to instantly go from being an indefinite probability wave to an actual photon with the opposite, horizontal polarity—even if the two photons have since moved far from each other.

The strangeness of quantum reality is far from the only argument against the old model of reality. There is also the matter of the fine-tuning of the cosmos. Many fundamental traits, forces, and physical constants—like the charge of the electron or the strength of gravity—make it appear as if everything about the physical state of the universe were tailor-made for life. Some researchers call this revelation the Goldilocks principle, because the cosmos is not “too this” or “too that” but rather “just right for life”. So-but then who made the tailor made universe?

Note to you

I think it was Strauss who said-“wine women and song”, but it must have come from an Italian`s mind I am sure. I think he was talking about us-what a wonderful day it was to make memories. But then you make the greatest of wine as always-that helps, and  your ravioli  ain`t bad either, and your company is magic. So, memories  they are not only of the heart, but the soul and the body.

Every moment lived in gratitude makes us happy-every moment spent within thoughts of love makes us blessed in spirit-every moment thinking of you I feel a warm glow. Grazie.
A reminder: “ Love from afar ?”

—and my response was:-“ Love even from an other galaxy is love. It knows no bounds. Elizabeth Barrett said even beyond death love survives….xoxoxo”

So it is.

Guf

According some Judaic teaching-namely the Kaballah -there are only 600,000 souls-according to them they are all Jewish. So, this would tell perhaps the uninitiated that everybody else is doomed, or does not belong anywhere, perhaps they were accidents, the other 6,4000, 000 souls/ people on the planet-maybe they, we are fragments of the original 600,000. But- if you really study and hear what the Judaic teaching said , it all makes sense and all have a place at the table.

 In the Kaballah-there is the belief of re-incarnation-it is explained that the “soul fragments”-so different fragments go into different bodies at different times-.

So the 600, 000 souls fragment- x 10 (fragment./bodies) = 6,000,000;  and they keep fragmenting! 10x 6,000,000=60,000,000; 10x60,000,000=6,000, 000,000- so forth…you get the picture..\How many lives do have had to live up to now? – many, but not that many by this standard.

Thus we are the 600, 000 originally created souls- if we believe this statement than we are all connected as  if we were all fragmented. According to this we would only have had to live each soul – 30 to the 3^rd power of lives till now. This  is a lot, but not really in the scheme of creation;  if we are 6,000,000,000 according to the calculation - a few extra for  we are 7,000,000,000.

So we are part of everyone- and we are everyone in a sense.- but it is not over yet-as there are still souls in storage in the Guf-so before the end comes, before  the arrival of the Messiah- they have to incarnate…so we need to keep on reincarnating till all have arrived. We are indeed fractals of the whole, that is of the Creator.

Till now we are around 1000+lives lived each-more or less/some behind some ahead. And apparently we are all Jewish (smily face here).
 

“The word Guf is derived from Hebrew for "body/corpse". The Guf can also be referred to as the Otzer (Hebrew for "treasury"). It is the source of every human soul. In some traditions the Guf is located in the celestial plane of Aravot, other times it is located beneath God's Throne of Glory, which resides "above" Aravot. Though some cite Isa. 57:16 as the source of the concept, Isaiah never uses the word, so the Talmud offers one of the earliest direct references to the Guf and teaches that the Messiah will not come until the Guf is emptied of all its souls (Yev. 62a-63b; A.V. 5a). This is given a longer, if more enigmatic treatment in a work of early Kabbalah, Sefer Bahir: 

In its [? - there is no clear antecedent, perhaps the 'World to Come' discussed earlier] hand is the treasury of souls. In the time when Israel is good, these souls are worthy of going forth and coming into this world. But if they are not good, then [these souls] do not go forth. We therefore say, "The son of David will not come until all the souls in the Guf are completed." What is the meaning of "all the souls in the Guf [Body]"? We say this refers to all the souls in the body of The Adam [Kadmon]. [When they are completed] new ones will be worthy of going forth [Bahir 184].

The peculiar idiom of describing the treasury of souls as a "body," as I indicate in my translation, is connected to the mythic tradition of Adam Kadmon, the primordial human. Adam Kadmon, God's "original intention" for humanity, was a supernal being, androgynous and macro-cosmic (co-equal in size with the universe). When this spiritual Adam sinned, his cosmic-sized soul burst asunder and humanity was demoted to the flesh and blood, bifurcated and mortal creatures we are now. According to Kabbalah, every human soul is just a fragment (or fragments) cycling out of the great "world-soul" of Adam Kadmon. Hence, every human soul comes from a "guf ", that being the supernal body of Adam Kadmon. Part of the project of humanity it to effect the tikkun, the restoration, of the soul of Adam Kadmon.

In keeping with other Jewish legends that envision souls as bird-like (Derived from the Biblical notion that the dead "chirp" - Isa. 29:4), the Guf is sometimes described as a columbarium, a dove cote. This connects it to a related legend: the "Palace of the Bird's Nest," the dwelling place of the Messiah's soul until his advent (Zohar II: 8a-9a).

 Again in the Guf we encounter the mystical notion of the whole universe being permeated with consciousness. It also reinforces the notion of the interconnectedness, the brotherhood (sorry, there just is no gender neutral idiom for this concept) of humanity which is at the heart of the Genesis account. The legend of the Guf, however, asserts our essential spiritual as well as biological relatedness.”

http://www.amazon.com/Encyclopedia-Jewish-Myth-Magic-Mysticism/dp/0738709050

Why all

 For much of my life I was interested in the esoteric part of life-I remember being a child when I was introduced to the pyramids, it had a strange lure for me- I was there, I was convinced. Then when I got older, when all the strange and unusual new age stuff  became part of who I am actually-again starting when I was about 15 . Then as time went by-I got to learn more, introduced to more and all of it becoming more of my belief system- of who I am.  

For the past three or four years I haven`t been interested or research anything much- I went on a sabbatical of sorts. Why? I have no idea, maybe it was just too much information overload -and very lately, so much has come my way, that I cannot ignore it any longer-mostly on FB, not that FB is the center of all available esoteric knowledge at all, but some major information does actually bleed through for specific purpose.

Though I have come to the conclusion, that really all this information it is not important to our present life,  as life is far too short, and we shall never really have an answer to anything- contrary to all of this,  I have been now pulled back into the wave and compelled to read things  that perhaps are rather strange and incomprehensible. Why –again? I have no idea-things just seem to turn up in my life most unexpectedly-probably in everyone`s life but few really try to untangle the message. The “why” perhaps is that- as I was told once by a “higher power”-that for some the mission is, including mine –is pulling souls through-maybe this is the reason why. Am I –or we special? No-it is simply our mission, as each soul has a mission, none is more important than an other. All are equal.

Really- a while back I said no more information please; then I get all this bombardment of different messages and insight which I would rather leave in the dark, yet a bright light has been shone on them. As I said, I am not special, I am no different, I am nobody-yet for some reason I seem to be getting all these sub-conscious, messages-telling me certain things which I am told has to be re-told.

So- being here right now- what is the message. The message is that it is the most important “time”  right now for the split. What is this split-? Well. It is a time to step to the left or right-including how we perceive the present. The human mind is at a gateway-knowing much, yet knowing nothing-but the tiny seeds are there if we really want the information- but only for some.

 “Do only that which is good” –is the message. Now- this seems very generic, as is the teaching of many religions, philosophies as well as ”new age” thought, but there is a major difference in this message; that is-“whatever you chose now in your mind, so shall it crystalize-meaning whatever idea, philosophy, intention you have shall be.”- so, fine tune your intention and ideas to what you feel you can live with, want or desire-and remember, the material is all transient, so  make the choice that goes and is above the physical-and that with transport you through the “gate”-for you are standing right in front of it.

You are about to step onto the next rung of civilization- in the material as well as the spiritual aspect, the only difference is that you are moving farther from the physical and more towards the spiritual-but the way is still far too long-creation is still in its infancy – but every soul is part of it. Remember there are only so many souls- within creation-only so many souls in the Chamber of the Guf.

So, the massage here is that –each soul is special, and there are only so many in creation which many religions state-. Why is this important ? Because it gives each soul special place, a special mission, and a state of being a special creation, and that all has a purpose and all has an intent and all has a goal.

Go within-find your goal-not physical goal, but over-soul goal, for all others do not matter.  See what your soul whispers to you at the middle of the night- and follow it; you can still  pursue your mundane , worldly goal as is demanded; but the purpose of the longer  goal will determine your actual mission. Sound very generic of the "new age" chatter-it is not- just allow spirit to flow and tell you-you will hear it. I know we all want to hear of secrets being told of creation-but those secrets are within us- just go within and bring forth that is within you and it will be all clear. Nothing is really as it seems-look beyond and you will find peace as well as your mission.

Kruger Pond

 

Some stories become legends, especially in the family-this one is ours. It was in the late 1970`s-we were still in Johannesburg, it was the time when I had met my husband Leslie. My father was always dreaming of making his fortune in South Africa in numerous ways-be that in business  or other strange escapades, like going to Basutoland into the mountains and  searching in dried riverbeds for diamonds. He had made a number of trips, and often came home with a handful of diamond, not of much value, as they were always flawed, and to polish them would have cost more than the actual diamonds. So, South Africa at the time was a land of opportunity for the dreamers of finding and making fortunes. But the following story is not about diamonds, but about gold-  to be clear about gold Kruger Ponds.

 One afternoon, my dad came home with a strange story. He was buying petrol  at the corner petrol station when he was made a business offer to make a fortune by the guy who was pumping the petrol. Though my father was very curious, the guy would not say what it was , but he would come around to the house that evening and explain in full detail.

 Leslie was also there that evening when the guy turned up. Excited at the prospect of getting rich, as at the time South Africa did hold a number of opportunities –often strange ones. This one was a strange one indeed.

 The guy was very mysterious,  at first he explained that –whatever he says has to be in the strictest of confidence, as nobody knows about what he will tell us-and we were the very  first people to have this tremendous gift of an opportunity to get rich. So he took out a small leather pouch and out of the pouch emerged, five gold Kruger Ponds-they were about the size of a 50 cent piece each. He told us that he had  at least five thousand or more-and assured us, “no, no they are absolutely not stolen as my father found them when he was digging in the veld. Way, way out in the country where I am from”.  Good enough. We each examined the gold coins-they were genuine enough including dates on  all of them.

 So, then once we had verified their authenticity-he enquired if we would be willing to buy them . “Oh –yes, very much so. But what would the cost be?” was the excited chorus from my dad and Leslie. “Well”, he said, ”it will depend on how many you want-let say a thousand will cost you five thousand Rand. And if you are happy with it-we I shall sell you more later”. Wow-we all knew that, that was a tiny fraction of its value, we could not believe our good fortune. At the time one Kruger Pond was at least three hundred Rand, so we all saw Rand signs as we all seemed to quickly calculate in our heads how much we shall make on the deal-. “But why so cheap? ”, my dad asked curiously. “Well” he said very seriously ,”we have so many, and we keep finding more everyday-so there are probably thousands still in the ground and right now we need cash”. Though it seemed a bit too good to be true- the answers were accepted. Don`t  ever look at a gift horse in the mouth is good advice, which we took.

 My dad would pay for half and Leslie for the other half-so they would each get five hundred Kruger Ponds each from the deal-at the time the amount was tremendously huge; my dad  made 400 Rand a month. It was arranged, because the gold was not on him, that the following Friday afternoon, my dad would pick him  up and –all three of us, my dad, my Leslie  and  I would go to wherever we needed to go-he would come with us take us  to where the gold was. “There is nothing to be afraid of”,  Leslie assured us, “for I have a gun”.  He did, my dad had a huge knife.

 We drove for miles though the veld-well over a hundred miles, then off the highway into the bush-the guy was  guiding us. I was really scared. Then we saw some huts in the distance-, “thank God”, I sighed with relief.  It was late afternoon already as we stopped. The guy got out and disappeared into the hut- in about ten minutes he emerged with three other  guys-one very old, bringing a big, metal tool box with a huge padlock, they put it down onto the dusty ground. “Here it is”, the guy said, ”can we have the money”.

 “Not so fast” Leslie said, ” we need to see the gold. Pour it onto this hand towel,” which he got out of the glove compartment and laid on the ground.  The guy opened the padlock, opened up the metal box-and there was all the gold-and he pored it all onto the hand towel. Yes-all was there, genuine enough- not counted, but who cared if it was a few dozen short-we just wanted to seal the deal and get out. The gold was pored back into the box, and closed and back went the padlock. My dad gave the piles of money to the old guy- and asked curiously, how did you find all this” The old guy answered in broken English-pointing to the sky, “Oh, I dig and  God give me” and put he the money in his pocket without counting and walked back into the hut.  Our guy put the metal box onto the back seat of our car-and as fast as we could we drove off like a bat out of hell into the dusk of evening. We were all very scared gun or no gun-we thought that they would come after us and take the gold back-they didn`t.

 We didn`t stop until a small town called Krugersdorp-under a street lamp to take an other look at the gold-but in the excitement we forgot to ask  for the key to the pad-clock-so on we drove home at a slower speed, very happy and filled with thoughts as what we would do with the money that would come from selling all this gold.

 We got home around   11pm-my mother was worried sick-but very relieved to see us all the same. Leslie brought in the very heavy metal tool box and forced open the lock with a screw driver and opened up the box-lo and behold we could not believe our eyes, the box was full of  pieces of small metal and screws and other such objects. We were being had-they somehow exchanged one box for an other without us noticing-and they put on the padlock so we could only open it at much later, so they had time to get away.

 But-in a way looking back-we were very lucky for we could have easily been killed-yes it was God who protected us, even though we were rather greedy. Later on we heard that the same thing had happened to a number of people that we knew. Moral of the story- If it looks good to be true, then it is.

Ankh

 Old keys have so much to say, often so much history to them-I love all kinds.  Contemporary keys have as much to say as well, many secrets to tell. Keys are so thought provoking, one`s imagination can run wild, and conjure up all kinds of stories when one sees a rusty old one, or a shiny newly minted one-they tickle the imagination. Some, maybe even be in the esoteric and of a celestial  order- as they rise above the mundane physical like the key of St. Peter to the gates of heaven, as well as to the Catholic Church, and the Ankh, key to eternal life that is carried in the hands of Egyptian deities; more often in the hands of Anubis. Now-I do believe that even the nuclear codes are a form of key-a dangerous key indeed, one that we should thrown away for good.

Here are a few things that often have keys, that come to mind, but I am sure that there are  scores more  if one really takes time to think about it. House keys, gate keys, bedroom keys, cellar keys, cupboard keys, trunk keys, diary keys and even motor car keys-which are considered regular keys, though they do hold their own secrets, apart from the car keys-which holds the mystery of the engine. 

Then there are keys to great fortunes, power and fame-that entice many. The keys that encompass the less physical, that have their roots in the emotional aspect, some may even touch on a spiritual and philosophical side of things are keys to hearts, key to problems, giving keys, key to life, keys to enlightenment and to eternal life. There are very special keys that open the mind to ancient mysteries and wisdom, like the Kabbalah-and some strange ones like the Keys of Enoch-whether we believe it or not, it does unlock answers for many. Key to the Bible and many sacred texts –opens  the soul to peace, love and God.

They all hide some secret in a way-except piano keys. Well they-do also, they open life to music-giving joy and happiness, so they have their own mystery too.. All keys unlock  something physically, literally or metaphorically, and  all have something unique, something special to unlock. They all hold a mystery and a curiosity for the human mind wanting to unlock them. I think even Pandora`s  box had a key to it and look where it got us.

Now-if I would have a choice of three, what keys would they be?  The Kabbalah-which would give me wisdom and  enlightenment, the Ankh –would give me eternal life and a deep connection to God- and the  piano keys-they would unleash all the beautiful music possible. Yes-with these three I would be quite content with.