On romance

The mind is a strange creature indeed-it plays tricks, it lies but it also tells the truth, well if we allow it voice, especially when it comes to love. The problem is that often the ego gets in the way-and it out chatters the rational mind by whispering romantic notions to the heart. All is illusion-“maya”, yet we live and die by our perception of reality- for we are easily fooled into its game because we so want to believe in the beauty of love, the permanence of love, of being wanted and to be needed, we often lose sight of the truth. We are on a quest for that mythical idea from the time we experienced that first kiss-till the day we die. For it is really a myth-but we love the idea of love. We are mesmerized  by the passionate love stories of old, by soul wrenching poetry, by self sacrifice to love itself -we know deep down that it is all a self generated myth,  but nonetheless-we yearn to experience those feelings that enflame the heart and we do everything in our power to make it as real as possible.

 We look and we search. We are bewitched by the passion that would make us want to die rather than not be in love. This romantic love, love forever- is the central idea of human happiness, which is very temporary. I think central among the features of romantic love is the fact that it consists in falling in love with love, often not with a concrete person.

However, romantic love, loves the higher passion, the spiritual ecstasy of love, not the body, and not so much really the physical act. I have to admit, but we women adore romantic love though,- we  love being swept off our feet, we long for more, to the point of death. “I would rather die” than lose the feeling of love and being loved -this is often a mantra of the romantic soul.

To feel the ecstasy of passion, romantic love entails a boundless desire, a longing for the infinite, a longing to “slip the surly bonds of time,” to escape from bodily limitations into the realm of the forever and the infinite. What the heart loves is the rarefied spiritual passion that only romantic lovers know. It loves the feeling of never being satisfied, of being always caught up in the longing, of dwelling in the sweetness of desire being lifted into the higher realms of passion.

Romance is like a drug-but  it cease to be once it fall into earthly realms, meaning once it becomes  mundane. Then reality sets in. As a friend said: “not a nice feeling to wake up next to a stranger with bad breath and  smelly feet.” No, for the sake of romantic love, it is much better for fulfillment to be delayed, for some obstacles to be put up, for a sword to be laid down between the longing  or a curtain drawn between the lover and the beloved. For the romantic passion to persist, -we, must must never get down to the nitty-gritty of daily life. But, do kindle that fire.

Keep romance simple and alive, don`t kill it-an other friend of mine once told me: ”if you want to kill love, get married”-good advice, don`t get married or even move in together. Keep the distance and remember that : “ absence makes the heart grow fonder”. Don`t meet every day-for then meetings lose their value for being special. Read the love letters as well as write them-many! Read Rumi often-aloud to each other, speak more of love rather than make love. Create romance as much as possible, spoil each other like crazy-does not need to depend on money.  Write love messages with a lipstick on the bathroom mirror, works every time. 

Pick up mementos when visiting places together like -pebbles, rocks and even wine bottle corks -don`t forget to date and place them. Funny the moment all comes flooding back when one sees them again. Create as many sweet memories as possible,-consciously, for later, no matter what happens, one can revisit and re-live them. Remember the present is rather short. Write a diary together-a paragraph each time you meet-works like magic. And daydream much,-together or separately, as well as  about making love to your beloved-in eternity.

Yeah, yeah- I am good at giving advice, but not so good at living it-trying though. (smily face)- but like any good physician will tell you: “do as I say, don`t do as I do”(an other smily face). But at the moment in time, I can`t complain-enjoying the present “now” until I fall back to earth-I hope not too soon.