Mirror of the mosaic

Life is like a beautiful mosaic image that is made up of different colours of stone, a collage of images that often as we make them, we do not see the story. The secrets are all hidden within the story, the instructions for the purpose of life itself. Then suddenly, as we place that final stone in place, and like magic, we see one story unfold. Then follows an other, and an other and so forth. This happens in sequences-some are larger images, some smaller-like chapters in a book, during different times in our lives, as relating to importance. Each containing within itself specific instructions. Times like these are times for reflection-and a time to observe ourselves and our actions, like a reflection in a mirror. This is a true gift, the power to evaluate and perhaps, if need be make corrections of our course in the river of life.

The old wise soul observes the image closely, and heeds its overall message by rational thinking. The young foolish soul, takes it light heartedly and disregards it. The infant ignorant soul is blind to all the facts, as it presumes that it is right in every way and has nothing to change. Then there is the ancient compassionate soul, who observes each image with the heart, as a reminder of its true life, its true nature. An enlightened realization of what is expected of them to further their evolvement, which is to stay on the path of light by means of gratefulness, humility and love. A reminder that we keep forgetting due to living in"time"-in which the ego is often in charge. This message is a directive for a correction as to how to serve creation and the Creator, how to join eventually with the ultimate Divine Presence. Thus in every image, there is an answer hidden, as to how to proceed if we are willing to hear.

Crossed Oceans of Time

I have crossed oceans of time to find you!

 This line comes from the film: “Dracula”-with Gary Oldman, who played Beethoven in “Immortal Beloved”-anyone who knows me –knows that I am simply in love with that movie.  Now, I am not that keen on the film Dracula-but the line takes my breath away. Now if ever a man says this to a woman, she knows that there has to be something in past live events-one just knows, it is kind of a “cell memory” that exist deep in our DNA. By the way- a woman  is allowed to say this line-it is not gender specific. Have you ever said it? Then think about it real hard-where did the thought originate from? From you? Or from where? Food for thought.

 If one really seeks to know, to understand one`s self in creation , one needs to access the “Akhashic Records-it is very possible to know. All you need is wanting to know-and it is there in plain sight. Why would one want to know? Why the need to understand? Why the want of  knowing the hidden?  Well, it is like having an anchor-knowing and understanding existence. Having some vague idea of where one`s home really is-and above all whom has been deeply entangled with one`s life. Finding our missing self-the other part of that “divine spark”, that is us. Our other self-the mirror reflection that knows all and understands all about one`s thoughts, ideas, and the deepest of secrets. The very core of spirit and soul always seeks  to be in balance-and through finding it gets to be complete.  These are hard and difficult concepts-one cannot learn it, study it-just ”is” within  one. An innate knowing that one is connected, bound to an other soul-, that together it becomes “the complete self” . That is why I find the line from “Dracula” so very profound, for the search is the journey-often the mission of finding the “other self”.

I suppose that some search over many lifetimes-and come up empty, yet others a mere few and are lucky-perhaps a gift from the Creator that find that “other self”.  Often though-souls do not always evolve in the same sequence, or rather like in music-do not harmonize and they are blind to the recognition. Then on goes the story for numerous more lifetimes until both are once more on the same page-in harmony. Perhaps it has to do with “soul age”-not that an older soul is more important than a younger one, but perhaps a little more wisdom is accumulated through passage of lifetimes.

Now you may well ask-where is all this leading to? Down a few rabbit holes-unless one understands the whole idea of reincarnation-and accepts it. One needs to come to the point, where it all rings true-and  allow it all to unfold-not fight it as some do-with the anthem: “it cannot be proved by science-so such things don`t exist”. Well maybe not yet-but we are getting there-but the first step is acceptance, and the rest follows as does night follow day.

The question that begs to be asked-“Is every deep love story an old connection”. No. Being passionately, deeply in love does not necessarily reflect an old soul connection-. One can be in love many times, and this could be the first connection-but soul knows where it is at, if one asks it. So moral of story: Listen- but hear as well, to your soul`s voice and follow its instructions-for it not only sees, but feels and remembers all that has transpired through numerous lifetimes. Yes-crossing oceans of time is often necessary-to find that other part of us.

The Journey

Years ago I was give a book titled “Passages”-I can`t remember the author, neither the content of the book except for one thing-that we pass through different phases of our lives through the passing of the years and each phase changes us. Also with each phase come different questions. Now, I have experienced this-up close and personal, as so many others. It has nothing to do with age, but priorities and outlooks on different levels of our psyche. Maybe it is spiritual growth, a soul awareness, or manifestation of higher consciousness, but it is very powerful as it forces us to stare deep into the eyes of that hourglass that is life, as the minutes tick down one grain of sand at a time-as we face the realization of our mortality.

I have entered a strange passage of my life, termed “time of deep wondering”-perhaps a better term would be -”reflection”. This is a very frightening period, especially when people I have known vanished from my life overnight. Friends, acquaintances I have interacted with-gone forever. Family members I have loved suddenly are no longer in this physical realm. Partners I have woken up in the same bed with many a morning, no longer exist. Lovers who loved me, made passionate love to me, who were part of my very being-are no longer breathing. They have disappeared into this deep void of the unknown.

Where are they? What has become of them? No one has come back from the dead except Christ-even that is in doubt if we truly are honest, no matter how deep our faith is, there is always a tiny seed of doubt. Now-why is that? Every religion talks of an afterlife-is it out of fear, trying to quell the spirit? Is there a spirit? Is there a soul for that matter? Many have promised to return-they have not. Many have sworn to give a sign-they have not. So why not?

Maybe there is nothing. Maybe we are not allowed. Maybe its of no value. Maybe one enters a different dimension of no return. Maybe they cannot communicate with this plane. Maybe they just don`t want to. Maybe one just gets total amnesia. Maybe life is just one strange coincidence-of nothing. The answer lies in Scarlett`s last words in Gone with the Wind-’I shall think about it tomorrow’-for tonight I have no answer to this question of the ages.

I read a post on FB the other day-it said: "Dust if you must but wouldn`t be better to do what you really love ? For there is not much time left. Ponder the difference between want and need. If you do decide to dust remember, that dust you were and in the end you, yourself will make more dust." 

So-for this reason a while back I made a number of decisions and changes regarding my life. I have come to this realization some time ago that time flies, does not walk-that is why I don`t kill myself with work anymore. I only do things I love to do, things that enhance my life and helps my soul unfold. I completely stopped working this year-so now I walk a lot in the forest, read a lot-also I have a lot of various interest and questions  about many things, so I research much on the internet. In this day and age the world is at our fingertips-before you had to go to the library and search stuff for days and weeks before you found what you were looking for, now we just have to press a button and all is there. Answers to any question are now possible. 

I write a lot for my own pleasure, watch movies that inspire or move me or lifts my spirit. I enjoy listening to great music, pray, meditate -and try and see absorb and appreciate all around me. I try to live in the now and commune much with nature as much as possible.  I sleep little or much, as I don`t have to get up on time. Potter a lot with our plants and flowers-even that I make as easy as possible ; most are in pots, sit by the river for hours, sit on the deck watch the awesome sunsets and sunrises, just observe nature in its tranquility and beauty, We live in a spectacular, beautiful enchanting place-it is a conservation area, I enjoy every moment of my life filled with gratitude, joy and happiness. Go into the city center if only I have to.  My  family lives within 2 miles-I see them often, and it is a wonderful feeling that everybody is around the corner. I are so very blessed I cannot stop thanking God enough daily! 

Even if we eventually become dust, I can say I have enjoyed being alive and would not change anything about it.

Story of rain

At times things happen and one just seems to dissolve into a puddle of mush. Thus the memories just flood back- as I heard “Unchained Melody “ on the radio today. Everything came flooding back. Exactly five years ago this past Easter, I had a very brief encounter with a radiant soul. Was he an angel? Maybe to me. We had a mere two dates-but it was meeting of very old souls, with a very long cosmic history. Unbelievable but -in some mystic way our souls seemed to fuse for a brief moment in temporal time. 

Our meeting was serendipity in every way-neither of us were looking for a relationship. By chance my daughter signed me up on a dating website, on a whim. He answered the first day. He e-mailed me, then called me on the phone, and not much had to be said. It was a feeling of recognition, for some unearthly coincidence we knew all about each other. We talked on the phone for about a two weeks-about everything. We divulged every single aspect of our lives-which was like my other self talking, -for it felt that we were both open books, or rather books that we had written. How odd-that feeling was to me, to him also. All the intimate details of the heart. 

Strangely enough, without fear or intrepidation I invited a strange man to dinner to my apartment one week before Good Friday. Funny, but I even knew what he would like for dinner-we did not talk of such mundane things as that. That evening he arrived with a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates, a radiant smile and a very tight hug. He looked so very handsome in life-he was not disappointed either. We had dinner, the chocolates and the wine kept coming.

We talked all night about our hope and dreams for the future-everything between us was so very familiar. We loved the same things, hoped for the same, wished the same from life-our background was similar and we just seemed to come together as if completing a circle. A perfect fit. It was a very strange sensation. After a very passionate, romantic, fire filled first night. He left in the early hours of the morning-ending it with a most familiar beautiful heartfelt kiss. We agreed to meet on Good Friday-which was a week later. 

He arrived exactly on time-with some beautiful white Easter lilies in a pot with a purple bow. His face was beaming with happiness, as was mine. We had talked everyday since our first meeting. He was counting literally the hours-during the day he would send me a message updating me on how many hours were remaining.

Then Good Friday arrived. The evening started with a great dinner I had made. Then came the music, and we danced and danced without words, just feeling each others`s soul. Then the haunting sound of Unchained Melody filled the room. We just melded into each other-and he said what I was actually thinking- “This will be our song forever. Remember whenever you hear it think of me”. That night, it was raining-I remember, as we lay in each others arms-his kisses raining upon me like the gentle rain outside. Then like a bolt out of the blue, I knew in my heart that it is here where it has to end. 

Why-I really do not know. It was just this internal voice telling me that we have to say goodbye for this was not the time to take it any further. Maybe it was fear, maybe that we both had many commitments, or maybe we had other missions in life to fulfill. True-at the time I just could not have taken it further than dating-and I felt in my heart that this would be unfair to him and myself. This connection needed more than just a relationship, it needed everything we both had-and it would have had to be in it totally-body and soul. It had to be a union of spirit and letting go of all physical ties. I was not prepared to do that-it was not possible at the time. I could not let everything go, for I had serious commitment to my mother, as he had to his mother. So, we discussed this in detail-he too very sadly had to agree.

There and then-after that night, we ended the evening, and our brief meeting of souls. We said our goodbye soaked with many tears and such tenderness – but, we decided that it will be not goodbye, but “auf wiedersehein” really, knowing we will for sure meet again somewhere in time. In both our lives this was the very first time that we both had such a short encounter. It was two of the most wonderful soulful, spiritual nights I ever have had in my life. It was truly two nights  of heaven to remember forever. 

I asked him please not to contact me, he promised he would not-with tears in his eyes. We both truly understood as why we had to take this route. I still see him as I was looking out my bedroom window as he was walking away in the rain. It was pouring rain in my heart -the tears flowing like a river. Thus is this life-but then again we have many more lifetimes to meet up once more. Was he my twin flame-perhaps, but I really do not think so-most definitely my closest twin soul. Do I love him-very much; but agape, not eros. I think for him to be my twin flame it has to be both one hundred percent.

On dying-

By chance I came upon an interesting topic “dying”. A research being done by a famous British neuropsychiatrist, Dr. Peter Fenwick, who studies the brain and mind, especially the actual dying process. He answers the most fundamental question of our time-what is consciousness. There are two theories about this- that consciousness is outside and the brain filters it, however the main thrust of modern science say -it is all brain function. He say that the later is too limited. His studies show that consciousness is separate from the brain, and is not product of the brain-as most theories presume. Consciousness is not a function of the brain. This is interesting, as most of the eastern religions state this-including The Tibetan Book of the Dead and even The Egyptian Book of the Dead. How interesting-did the ancients know more about dying than what our modern science knows today? Seems so.

What actually happens preceding death-the actual physical and psychological process is extremely interesting. Often when this topic comes up one cringes a bit and one sort of wants to move along, yet we all have to face it one day. No escape from it, no mercy for all living creatures, including all fauna and flora. His research is very interesting, based on thousands of people with NDE (near death experience) over decades.

Fear of the unknown has much to do with it. Different cultures face death differently-there are certain fundamentals which are culture specific. This is due to world view, religion and cultural roots which impacts it greatly. The different belief systems do influence the experience, but upon examination they all converge and come to the same conclusion. An important fact is that NDEs have a powerful affect on the people that have them and change them profoundly. This does not mean that all to the death experience, there is more to it.  Also that the dying process is simply not abnormal misfiring of neurons and that  the experiences are illusions of a dying brain. Fenwick believes that consciousness is beyond the brain.

His studies show a number of interesting phenomena. One-before even getting a diagnosis, some time before you may get a premonition or a dream that you will die. Second is that a few weeks ahead of death you get "deathbed visitors"- relatives that come to you. They may stay outside your door, or come in or sit on your bed and they will talk to you. Sometimes spiritual beings come, they behave differently-they may stay outside and be seen through the window, or may come through the door. This process is very comforting. The third phenomena is that you go back and forth into a different reality, like getting conditioned to it. But now new studies out of Switzerland show that at a point you realize that you are going to die-and there is no recovery. This hits you hard as you have never been in this position of no control whatsoever-you realize you have to give up everything you have ever known. 

The previous phenomena, going back and forth, happens 90% of the time so research shows. If you don`t give up all, you remain attached-this is the most difficult death, if you do give up all, then you will have a very smooth transition. In post transition you have given all up and you go more and more into the spiritual domain. You have lost all, including ego-you have lost that part of yourself that had differentiated you and you become non-dual. You have lost all your earthly trappings-then you merge with the universe, the greater cosmos and become universal.

Remaining attached creates two great problems in dying- both pulling you in different ways. One of fusion the other pulling back into the limited. This is called spiritual restlessness. There is one more phenomena before actual dying-this is "terminal lucidity". Suddenly you sit up in bed, even ones that have been paralyzed for years will do this-and say goodbye to all. The real question for science is that this even happens to Alzheimer patient who were in a vegetative state suddenly remember and recognize loved ones-say goodbye and lay back and die.

However at this point this is not over for some yet. There is what is called "death bed vision". If you have a loved one you could not say goodbye to, you will visit them. This takes place within half hour of death, or at the time of death. If the person is up-they will have a feeling that something is happening, or that you need help or a catastrophe is happening. If you are asleep, you may get a "narrative dream" and get a positive message: "I am fine, I am alright do not worry".

An other fascinating phenomena are lights in the room-it looks like real light-it can stream out of the dying`s room or just flood the relatives room. At times it is like a golden river of  describe as a "golden river of love". This has a very strong spiritual quality to it. This is a very complex phenomena-not all in room can see the light, it depends on the level of attachment to a loved one. The light fades when the person actually dies.

Also at times of death shapes seem to leave the body. Like smoke, there maybe a change in atmosphere, or some actual form leaving. This is also described in The Tibetan Book of the Dead. Then there are clocks that stop at the time of death-even modern clocks stop-flashing the time. Animals will howl, birds often appear on window sills of the dying.

To have an easy death-you have to give up your body to join Universal Consciousness joyfully, lovingly, happily and willingly. You have to be unattached then you become non dual and merge. The evidence is very strong and becoming stronger as the more research is being done.

The nature of light

Every morning I go for a walk with my dog into the forest-it is a wonderful quiet , peaceful time to commune with nature. These days we are so engulfed with the material world that we pass up so many opportunities to experience the energy and tranquility of Gaia. If one sees with the heart, not with the eyes then one realizes that everything is radiating different levels of light. Our radiant energy changes-this is the light that we spread from our over-soul or spirit or our light body. This energy waxes and wanes like the moon-at times we have to much, other times too little-in nature we are able to find the exact formula for balance, and in return-we balance that which balances us, thus it is a symbiotic relationship. All in creation is thus.

Once we learn to recognize and realize the levels of energy flowing through us , then this becomes second nature with practice, then one is able to control  its ebb and flow. This ebb and flow determines the levels of peace, joy, compassion, happiness, forgiveness, gratefulness, mercy and all other positive traits of spirit which expands the parameters of the soul. This is the nature of light. -also all the negative aspects of spirit-anger, hate, envy, frustration,  indifference, depression, apathy and all the other negative qualities of spirit which diminishes the parameters of soul.  This is the nature of darkness. Through the positive aspects we grow, through the negative aspects we stagnate.

So, we should strive to spend  as much time as possible within the borders of all that what engages spirit in a positive context. We should spend more time within the confines of the sounds and sights of nature that is filled with the beauty of light which replenishes the soul. It allows us to grow and propel us further along our path towards our final destination. In this modern age of materiality and technology it is easy to lose the way and follow the road of darkness.  Be conscious of every moment of life and walk on the path of light, which translates into love. For in three small words creation and our life`s purpose is explained- “Strive for love”, for we are “Love”.

Remember everything is in the process of constant change, nothing stays the same-each day is an opportunity to generate more light, even if yesterday was filled with darkness . A spark of light over comes a room full of darkness-so forget your darkness.

Dream and the dreamer

Promises, promises that I have not kept. What am I talking about? Well, in January I promised myself that I would write a blog two a month at least, and ot is almost June. So what on earth happened? My muse seemed to have wandered off, or perhaps got himself a new employer-however I am pleased to inform my readership that he is back. You maybe surprised that he is a male-as often one thinks of a muse as a female entity.

So, now that we have all this cleared up I am eager to hear his soft whisperings to my soul. Truth be told-he just reminds me of that what I already know, and inspires me to retrieve what is already present in my subconscious mind. He is the gate-keeper of what comes out from my higher self. He also advised me to make my blogs shorter, as according to him, many people do not have very long attention spans and they will get bored easily. Ok, noted.

We, humans keep changing every second in time-though I tend to agree with many of the “new age” philosophers that time is an illusion, non-existent. So if that is the case, what is change that we seem to perceive? I believe that it is the “awakening process” from the dream state of unknowing, into knowing, realizing that we are dreaming all into existence. This comes about with maturation of soul-as it transcends is earthly existence navigating towards its final destination of unity with whom I call God. Others may call it Creator or Universal Consciousness or just Nature of Existence-or perhaps have no specific name for it-just an Innate Knowing that we actually transcend time and space-and that we are in essence timeless.

We have always existed, do exist and always will forever exist. What we experience as this present life, is simply a dream-scape that our soul is dreaming. Life is all connected. It is our dream, not my dream as we are a communion of souls. Only one, single universal soul exists, of which each one of us is a tiny part-and it sole purpose of existence is expansion and experience.

Every fragment of our dream expands creation, and is a message-meaning that, every moment that we think that we are experiencing life is a vital part of the journey of the soul back to its source. Often we cannot see life`s purpose-we wonder we question, we are at awe of its mystery. However, it is all part of the “grand universal plan” of the Creator. Is it all predestined, preordained? Yes-the ending, but not the way.

Thus all souls, all living things, all that we see as non-living things are playing an integral part however small and inconsequential they may seem. All is a dance- forever growing, expanding, maturing none of this can take place without the fabric of creation. What we call life is the consciousness-the dream is the energy. As it is said in Hinduism; Shiva /Shakti interaction. We are the dream as well as the dreamer. All that is living is connected by the thread of life-that is the universal law-nothing ever ceases to exist.