Our meeting was serendipity in every way-neither of us were looking for a relationship. By chance my daughter signed me up on a dating website, on a whim. He answered the first day. He e-mailed me, then called me on the phone, and not much had to be said. It was a feeling of recognition, for some unearthly coincidence we knew all about each other. We talked on the phone for about a two weeks-about everything. We divulged every single aspect of our lives-which was like my other self talking, -for it felt that we were both open books, or rather books that we had written. How odd-that feeling was to me, to him also. All the intimate details of the heart.
Strangely enough, without fear or intrepidation I invited a strange man to dinner to my apartment one week before Good Friday. Funny, but I even knew what he would like for dinner-we did not talk of such mundane things as that. That evening he arrived with a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates, a radiant smile and a very tight hug. He looked so very handsome in life-he was not disappointed either. We had dinner, the chocolates and the wine kept coming.
We talked all night about our hope and dreams for the future-everything between us was so very familiar. We loved the same things, hoped for the same, wished the same from life-our background was similar and we just seemed to come together as if completing a circle. A perfect fit. It was a very strange sensation. After a very passionate, romantic, fire filled first night. He left in the early hours of the morning-ending it with a most familiar beautiful heartfelt kiss. We agreed to meet on Good Friday-which was a week later.
He arrived exactly on time-with some beautiful white Easter lilies in a pot with a purple bow. His face was beaming with happiness, as was mine. We had talked everyday since our first meeting. He was counting literally the hours-during the day he would send me a message updating me on how many hours were remaining.
Then Good Friday arrived. The evening started with a great dinner I had made. Then came the music, and we danced and danced without words, just feeling each others`s soul. Then the haunting sound of Unchained Melody filled the room. We just melded into each other-and he said what I was actually thinking- “This will be our song forever. Remember whenever you hear it think of me”. That night, it was raining-I remember, as we lay in each others arms-his kisses raining upon me like the gentle rain outside. Then like a bolt out of the blue, I knew in my heart that it is here where it has to end.
Why-I really do not know. It was just this internal voice telling me that we have to say goodbye for this was not the time to take it any further. Maybe it was fear, maybe that we both had many commitments, or maybe we had other missions in life to fulfill. True-at the time I just could not have taken it further than dating-and I felt in my heart that this would be unfair to him and myself. This connection needed more than just a relationship, it needed everything we both had-and it would have had to be in it totally-body and soul. It had to be a union of spirit and letting go of all physical ties. I was not prepared to do that-it was not possible at the time. I could not let everything go, for I had serious commitment to my mother, as he had to his mother. So, we discussed this in detail-he too very sadly had to agree.
There and then-after that night, we ended the evening, and our brief meeting of souls. We said our goodbye soaked with many tears and such tenderness – but, we decided that it will be not goodbye, but “auf wiedersehein” really, knowing we will for sure meet again somewhere in time. In both our lives this was the very first time that we both had such a short encounter. It was two of the most wonderful soulful, spiritual nights I ever have had in my life. It was truly two nights of heaven to remember forever.
I asked him please not to contact me, he promised he would not-with tears in his eyes. We both truly understood as why we had to take this route. I still see him as I was looking out my bedroom window as he was walking away in the rain. It was pouring rain in my heart -the tears flowing like a river. Thus is this life-but then again we have many more lifetimes to meet up once more. Was he my twin flame-perhaps, but I really do not think so-most definitely my closest twin soul. Do I love him-very much; but agape, not eros. I think for him to be my twin flame it has to be both one hundred percent.
No comments:
Post a Comment