Old things and Memories

Things old- this thought came to my mind as someone on my page of FB posted –“the happiest times of our lives were the dirt roads”—this is true metaphorically as well as literally.  And we all remember so well –like yesterday—sights , sounds, smells and they are all vivid reflections of those day in our minds.

These days I often reflect of times gone by-not that I would do things differently in my life , --but it makes me feel like being home by thinking of those days. No matter where we come from, where we grow up—memories remain with us and it gives one a sense of warmth to think back. Lately I have found a face book page that relates all to the place where I grew up, went to school—and it is such a wonderful sensation and experience to re-live those moments. I am not unique—this is a human trait—and we long for those times when we were happy care free and young.

The thing though is –that time being so fleeting, we need to make the present sacred in as much as possible, because within a short time in history—these will be the very days we long for. So to me the lesson is—appreciate, cherish every single moment—be it then, now or things to come for they shall eventually become history—and memories in a flash.

Today—now are the “good old days”—so savour it, and live it to its full glory and give thanks for the people, loved ones, family, friends that are still within this moment –for within a blink of an eye all changes—and people leave and the moment is gone –except the ones frozen in time. Enjoy the present with all its wonders and blessings—and  we have to make sure that we are within , conscious of every moment as it shall soon be a memory.

I know  you don`t like this song—but is has much to say—a couple of stanzas only I promise sweetheart- From “Cats”

Memory
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again

Daylight
I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life
And I musn't give in
When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin

Touch me
It's so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun
If you touch me
You'll understand what happiness is 

Remember me--always as I remember you with uncoditi0nal 
love! 

Astounded by man

"We are not placed on this earth to be little more than walking vegetables.
-Og Mandino 

At times humanity astounds me…sadly we are like sheep. One only needs to look how people behave in situations like sports games- how quickly people turn on and off, or how mindless they become regarding the adulation of celebrities. True—the word fan means fanatic, and fanatics they are in the most insane fashion. One would tend to think that at this time in our evolution our vibrational state should be a little bit above a-“#O” on the evolutions scale ;  I am speaking metaphorically in a way, or rather follow the statement of Prof. Michio Kaku  the theoretical physicist –when  he states we have  just merely stepped from”#0” level of civilization…into the first  rung of- “#1”, as according to him there are least”#6” levels in the universe. No wonder—then this behavior is probably normal. I wonder what those folks who are observing us out there are thinking.

I was on “Face Book” for the past few months with some intensity and vigour, but sadly I am very disappointed in my human brethren—or rather the word I would use more aptly to describe my feelings is perhaps— “disenchanted”. Most definitely ego prevails—and is alive and very well in most people. Why you may well ask? Well—you get different types of people in this world-, I quite realize. I also am rather aware that it is called “social media”—so it is for fun, connections and trivia-not about rocket science. However  even in a place like that, one would expect some interaction between individuals- but I have found that there is hardly any at all. In reality, the "FB Wall"  seems to me- to be an exercise in a form of "self aggrandisement"--they are exceptions for sure. I have to confess, that in a way I was not immune to this behaviour of the human ego- I too fell into the trap as well. 


People post some wonderful, meaningful, profound quotes mostly—but most people simply get a  FB  “like” tick, with that little blue thumb pointing up for it- you know similar to the tick we got in school for getting something right--except generally that was made with a red pen which made us feel fuzzy and good inside—But really folks, who in their right mind feels a satisfaction from that FB “like”?  The point I am trying to make here is that —it would be nice to have a comment on a particular quote that was posted —or perhaps a brief discussion of the odd post now and then--I think that the  person who does the posting deserves at least that for their effort. I know, I get it- there are discussion groups for things like this—but I still feel that those BF "likes"are is just “all ado about nothing” type of thing. So I decided to stop posting and to retreat, for I feel that it is total waste of time—Maybe I expect more from people, some thought, a little function of grey matter—or some demonstration of interest, otherwise it is simply a futile exercise.Yes-for further information if you are interested or wandering- I commented with at least a few words on all the posts of my "friends". 


Let me make it perfectly clear- it is not for wanting a pat on the back for a quote or  a post, but simply to discuss its merit -either pro or contra so that at least it is acknowledged in some way; this way we learn  form it, or think about it or simply state our opinions regarding it. 

And other major pet peeve of mine is throwing around the phrase - "I love you" so freely , as a figure of speech in a  sense, - I assume that the word "love" is as an actual verb. No? —I agree, it is possible once you have interacted with the person on a deeper level to say-"I love you" —but let me add this these words in capitals “TO LOVE ALL PEOPLE“, simple is just not so.

I have come to the conclusion that so many valuable quotes, observations, philosophies, ideas are posted and  hardly a few are ever valued, discussed or actually the advice practiced or ever taken. People still go on their merry way  without a thought doing exactly the same thing before they have read perhaps a most profound post, maybe a life changing quote,  saw a great video, or heard a soul moving piece of music that actually would make an enormous change in their lives. They just allow the moment to go by, slip away from them—but then maybe this is where the wheat get separated from the chaff, not that I am wheat—far from it, but at least I acknowledge the fact that I am chaff and  trying to become with work, wheat maybe one day—this never even occurs to many of them.  The point is at least I know  and recognize this, accept it and try and remedy my life. But maybe it is the time when we are deciding into which dimension we would like to step next, or simply say in the physical quagmire –of the material. Many have decided.—Sadly at times ego wins hands down.

I wish to be light, not darkness- not ignorance, not mediocrity, but .....be the soul I was created to be, a Divine Spark. I refuse to be ordinary. I AM light.

“I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand. Henceforth will I apply ALL my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy. ”
―Og Mandino; The Greatest Salesman in the World

Soul

The "twin flame"-is the term given to the two parts that make up one soul.  The union of  "twin flames"  is an energy vibration that transcends the limited consciousness of duality- which are the two counterparts of "one soul"- that was split into two at the moment of its creation.  Within the concept of creation "duality" is an illusion- only "unity" exists. There is no linear time, thus no matter how many lifetimes the soul seems to have experienced, it has not experienced time at all; that is the illusion.  The highest state of vibration in the realm of creation is the unity of the original "soul spark" that was separated at the moment of creation from itself,  for the reason of expansion. The soul connection is a recognized vibration of  knowing that the one is part of a whole. The intense yearning towards its other part, is a knowing that comes from the higher realms of the "one over-soul". Each part  yearns to be united with its counter-part, the need to be "whole", this is its only quest within the temporal world. A longing to be whole once more.

Each soul was created as one "divine spark", which split into two; for the reason to experience different human journeys as a means of expansion of "Universal Consciousness" experiencing its own self. The two halves of the one "soul spark" are  forever seeking to be re-united with its own self.  It is not  a concept of knowing each other, but  actually being each other, since the time of creation. This is the reason for its actual existence, for each soul part learns, experiences and expands beyond itself through the human experience, thus at the time of union becomes greater than the sum of its original parts; which then is re-united within the whole of "Universal Consciousness".  John O`Donohue calls this "soul recognition" akin to meeting an old friend, and a "longing" for home.

A "divine thread" connects all of creation together, but the connection to one`s twin flame is of the same vibrational frequency, thus it has the "power of recognition", like a "fingerprint of knowing".  All actions of twin souls are beyond the physical realms of human expression or understanding. Thus it has nothing to do with human existence, expressions of emotions or  love within temporal time - only some human experiences are important and necessary   in as much as to regain more "soul experience" for the benefit of whole.

It is a way of completion to return home as "one", thus there is expansion of "Universal Consciousness" itself. There is no time,  nor space involved; except the power of the universal energy of creation-which is "love". Once a soul is united, it no loner has the need to incarnate, for the human experience is simply to reunite with its self as it can now return home....and then as a spiral, the cycle starts again over and over --as "Universal Consciousness" expands.

Sometimes

Some days the heart is so full that it is impossible to get anything out. It feels like there is so much wanting to escape that it actually blocks the flow….like a river that is blocked by the oncoming logs. The river cannot  flow freely, and the logs  simply pile up one by one. That is my heart today.  I don`t think of myself as a writer, I would describe myself more of a self talker, for when I write I am having a heart to heart with my higher self…thus flow the ideas, thoughts and if I am lucky answers to questions that I may have. Nobody is reading my writing, as nobody is reading yours, but the universe has a very large ear, and as we all know all is connected—so I am sure maybe someone in Siberia, or Tokyo is picking up my thoughts  as well as yours and is putting pen to paper—we are  the producers and they are the actors, that is how I translate all this in my imagination. Maybe wishful thinking, but good for my spirit.

 Do you ever go back and read stuff you have written months or years ago? I do…the odd time. If this is not the case, why do we write anyway? Maybe we should just call it “conversation with God” and just leave it at that never to revisit as we do with regular conversations. I don`t know—I just feel at an utter loss and a need for something, but know not what. No—not you. You`re not it at all—thought I am sure you wish you were, it feels good to have one`s ego massaged. However—somehow I have passed that point, for –for some unearthly reason I simply feel you are all around me, constantly. Weird. No?

Sometimes I am angry at myself for not being upset, for not feeling your loss, for not being bothered by the fact that I haven`t heard from you in ages—yet still I feel fine. Neither is it that I have stopped loving you—of course I haven`t. Probably even more than ever—but then why don`t I need your physical presence? I don`t understand all this at all. I feel serene, at peace and in a wonderful place within spirit, filled with grace—and this at times makes me feel guilty. It shoudn`t I know—for we are spiritual beings having a human experience—this life is but a moment of illusion.

I wonder if you understand what I am actually trying to say—you probably do. However how we got to this point in time is beyond me—it is the greatest of mysteries to me. Maybe through all these past years we have said all we had to say each other—we surely ran out of cards—maybe all the other physical stuff also, only the soul stuff is left—which needs no words. Maybe we have progressed beyond that—or it is my wild imagination, my wild romantic heart that sings to me with voices of unseen angels to my spirit. Whatever it is—it is where I have found peace and love for God, for you and for myself.

This experience with you is certainly a huge step up in our spiritual expansion and growth, if such a thing actually exists—it has taught us much. I think I speak for you as well, as I think I know your hear rather well—you may disagree with this, but I know I am right.

Where to now?  Nowhere , we are where we have to be—so be happy my heart, this is but a moment in eternity. Just think how much fun and great times await us next time around, I know for sure. Did we end this on a bad note—not at all, just a brief hiatus. Why?—Well the future will shine a light on it and we shall surely know—God works in mysterious ways, and those ways are always correct, more so than what our little brains can conjure up. 

So, right this minute I shall burn all them logs! 

Inconsistency

One would tend to think that human nature proceeds on a straight line forward in development on the learning curve. Like from point A to point B and so forth in a straight line towards enlightenment. That seems to be the logical route, to reach the destination but often it is not.  We seem to go through endless exercises what I would call, ”all ado about nothing”, also at times we do things that are totally contradictory to “creatures with soul”. By this I mean we are so inconsistent with our behaviour, or maybe another description would be, disloyalty to ourselves—to our very humanity.We so easily become tired and bored of things including relationships. We hold nothing sacred and have become the throwaway generation--"if we don`t like it we throw it away". There is no value to anything including emotions these days--yet the "new vibrational state", that claims "love and light" as its very anthem, seem to be emerging more and more into the darkness, the antithesis of the very words of the awakening process into higher realms of consciousness. How ironic is this?

Perhaps it is in our nature simply to become bored with situations easily, discouraged at the first signs of hard work or having a short attention span. Maybe this comes with chronological age or perhaps actual soul age or steadfastness of ego as we seem to become more hard and callous with time—Or perhaps just lessons that need to be learnt, or actual karma—but I don`t think it is that because in reality how much can a soul learn in one lifetime, not very much I would think.  I think these neutral or negative actions are the manifestations of the lacking of light within spirit. Very few, like saints and sages maybe able to let go of these traits of ego, but they are a few indeed few. They are the sacred in this world radiating unconditional love. Sadly—most of us do not fit into the sacred category.

What do I actually mean? In my case, which is possibly very normal, as I doubt I am not unique in creation, though we each would like to think that we are different—but we are not. Any situation that we face has been faced before, we just think that we are the only one to face the tantamount tragedies and comedies that our lives have to offer. We think we loved the most, loved the deepest, loved the hardest--we were part of the greatest love story ever told. We whole heartedly believe that we lost the most,  suffered the most, hurt the most and above all that we are special and there is no other creature like us. This is the greatest of ego`s illusions--as we are a simple speck in the eye of the Creator.

 No, we are not special at all—we are all in the same boat going through the same paces of so called, ”living” I have to admit we are also great liars, cheats and  the most disloyal  to situations at a drop of  a hat, and hurt the one`s we love the most-just for the sake of feeding our ego.—We pride  ourselves as being the pinnacle of creation, yet I probably guess we are actually at the very bottom of the barrel within the animal kingdom when it comes to these traits. What animal cheats, lies, betrays, kills, punishes, its own to a point of extinction? —And other animals as spirit gently reminds me here.  Plus I have to add a rather important  sad point—which is that we actually do it being fully conscious of the facts and of the outcomes. One could actually forgive the behaviour if consciousness was not involved—we forgive children. As Christ said on the cross, “Father forgive them for they not know what they do”.  But He was wrong—for we know, yet we do it.  All with full intention to each other. Yes—and we do this on all levels, -personal as well as public levels in life.

Other animals only do it to a very small degree with regarding their survival, but man does it for selfishness, for power, for comfort, for pride—for satisfaction of ego.  Maybe it is a survival mode, but if that is the case—then it begs the question—who is more evolved spiritually in the animal kingdom? Who has less expression of ego?  Who behaves in less animal fashion? Who carries more light in their spirit? Who radiates more love—us? Or the less evolved animals?

Soul block!

Soul block!

At times one wants to write, but the words will not come, yet these are most profound messages from the soul—the idea, the image is there but for some inexplicable reason one just stares at the black page.  Often these are such important observations that want to escape from spirit, yet I think ego hold onto the reigns so tight as not to allow the escape of one thought in fear of being defeated by spirit.

Why is this? To me it seems that there is a war being waged between spirit and ego—those times that follow these periods are often the most rewarding in expressing all that lies hidden in the soul. This unfolding of the heart often lies deeper within spirit and is given life often through a passage of darkness—well, what am I saying , you so well know this. I think the way you put it was: ”trawling for pearls in deep , dark murky waters” I wonder if you have found it, or have you not returned from the ”netherworld” yet?  I wonder often how we actually arrived at this point. I only have control over my own heart, at best—for probably it is all predestined we are merely passing though the motions on our way to our final destination. But- really  I am not here to discuss us, for all has already been etched in stone.

My mind wanders in so many different direction these days. I cannot seem to focus on one specific thing. My emotions are as variable as the weather these days, - what to me one day seems like water to my thirsty spirit,  most important to the survival of my very soul—the next day seems, totally  unimportant-what a paradox. I seem to be fluctuating from peaks to valleys-and my perception of the world each day seems to appear in a different light . I am not depressed, neither am I happy-I feel I am searching for something and know not what.  Often my mind is filled with ideas of death—not a longing for it, but looking at my life and observing it from a distance almost as if it weren`t mine—with the realization that death sits in waiting. Then I wonder-“then what?”  My faith is deep—but I still have doubts which I would like to dispel. How? The more I think, pray, meditate—the more restless I become almost to a point of frustration.

No—it is not you, you are always present . These surges from my unconscious mind have nothing to do with us whatsoever –thus in a way I am  probably going through the same cycles as you do—maybe even at the same time- or perhaps I take up on the idea feelings , emotions when you leave off—thus we seem to navigate though the passages of our earthly life.  The concern to me is, that things instead of becoming more clear, are ever falling into more confusion. I wonder why that is? I thought I knew—and as the moments of my life tick down, I realize that I haven`t the foggiest clue about anything—and question the very idea of existence. It is a most horrible feeling—it is a feeling of loss in a way. But a loss of what ? My humanity? I know I have love—I know I have your love, but it is not enough to fill that void, or longing for I have no idea what. Maybe –God? The more I get incorporated within God—the more I feel I am not—an other paradox. Maybe it is when we get a tiny glimpse do we realize what we are actually missing . Maybe this is what happens as we get older, and these feelings is the actual desire to exit this life—the longing to be forever joined with the “Eternal”.  Maybe all this is God`s way of  killing off our ego—so that the eternal plan of His creation is fulfilled.  The desire of all material is burnt off –in almost as an offering to Him as we once more desire to be with Him forever.  Escape from these earthly chains into the arms of His love-which is love itself.

Thus-you see I don`t miss you—How can one miss something that is not missing? In truth—thoughts of you go far beyond all these earthly realms. I am not writing this for dramatic affects at all, for it is the truth.  I feel we are very  “OK”—but it is this “marking time point”  at this spiritual juncture of the present that confuses me. It makes me uncomfortable, this internal agitation, this enormous apprehension within my heart, as I don`t understand it. It is like waiting for the other shoe to drop—and I don`t even know that I have shoes!

I know you know what I am trying to say and can`t express myself reasonably—you have been here, and keep returning here also. One cannot seem to step ahead for some reason. That is why I think we dabble is so many things—to find some rational answer—but hell we don`t even know the question-this is very frustrating. No wonder ignorance is bliss—not that I consider myself a great thinker, but the more I think the more I realize the futility of life. Instead of the waters clearing, it is becoming more and more murky. Maybe there is a light  beyond these waters—I wonder.  Maybe just eternal darkness.

To my other self

To my other self-My Indigo Dragon :  Your words from the mouth of John O`Donahue from Anam Cara-

“Real friendship or love is not manufactured or achieved by an act of will or intention. Friendship is always an act of recognition. This metaphor of friendship can be grounded in the clay nature of the human body. When you find the person you love, an act of ancient recognition brings you together. It is as if millions of years before the silence of nature broke, your lover’s clay and your clay lay side by side. Then in the turning of the seasons, your one clay divided and separated. You began to rise as distinct clay forms, each housing a different individuality and destiny. Without even knowing it, your secret memory mourned your loss of each other.

While your clay selves wandered for thousands of years through the universe, your longing for each other never faded. This metaphor helps to explain how in the moment of friendship two souls suddenly recognize each other. It could be a meeting on the street, or at a party or a lecture, or just a simple, banal introduction, then suddenly there is the flash of recognition and the embers of kinship glow. There is an awakening between you, a sense of ancient knowing. Love opens the door of ancient recognition. You enter. You come home to each other at last. As Euripides said, “Two friends, one soul.”