Space to breathe

 
Do you at times feel like sitting in your car, just wanting to drive into the sunset and never stop?  Never look back? Every word said simply drives you mad for some reason. You feel like you are on your last nerve and that is about to snap. Life these times becomes far too much to handle. Be that work, play or love-it all becomes too stressful and one needs a break, a holiday-and escape for a while to re-group one`s thoughts. Get the mind in order-if that is at all possible, I don`t know.

I have to confess that no matter how much one loves an other, one needs one` own space desperately at times to be alone.  One needs air to replenish one`s very being.  Space to think, be with oneself and to see things unfiltered in a clear light. The need  to be alone in time, is  like  breathing  in the open air not  as one breathes from an oxygen tank-as one surfaces from that circle of love. At times love makes one feel trapped, sort of breathless and the need to get away feels like a lifeline. Sadly-this often leads to confusion and the loved one questions the validity of one`s love-but, there is nothing to question for it is just a human need to want to feel free and untethered at times-it is a release valve for the heart-energy. This does not mean that love is lacking, neither that it is waning-on the contrary, in reality this action makes love more strong.  Yes-at times, love in an all encompassing capacity can kill when it is becomes too much-be that love for a lover, for a child or for a parent.This element is not specific to a lover at all, but specific aspects regarding-love, be that agape or philia or any other type of love that was described by the Greeks.

The key, as in everything, is balance-which comes into being within space and time. This is a hard lesson for many, including myself.  Often one tends to feel guilty regarding this emotion of wanting to be free for a while, but one should not. Look at nature- it needs to rest, to rejuvenate itself.  We also have the need to re-energize body, mind and spirit.  There is a need to unplug oneself and thus we grow deeper roots, expand spiritually and emotionally. We forge deeper ties to love and we realize our divine encounters with and within each other, as we observe our relationship from an other view point. A more panoramic vision emerges, as we pause and listen through spirit or more so, through the eyes of our higher self.

So this need does not reflect the depth of love we have for our beloved. Neither is it the gauge whereby we measure the length, breath and the depth of our love. On the contrary it is because we love so deeply that we feel that our energy is being depleted by the object of our love and we desperately have the need to escape and re-energize ourselves.  We put everything we have into love and in a way it frightens us to a point where we feel we are actually losing our very soul.  This should not make us feel guilty as it is really just a reflection of our unfathomable love.
At times absence does make the heart grow fonder. 

What`s up?

There was a time not long ago that I was rather involved with FB…not for long though, I eventually found it rather a time waste.  So, I hardly post…as they are neither friends nor acquaintances. We get so confused at times. We want friends, we want to belong and most of all we want to be loved and accepted.  Non is true about FB.  

So- I have a secret FB page, under an alias-no friends, no others postings-only me and myself! I find it just great,  where I  can post all kinds of important stuff that I feel is important to me-all from others-as I am in many great groups with substance- not posting from myself. All  is important  to my awakening-a learning experience, all benefit to my expansion of spirit, to my spiritual vision and quest. Be it true or a fantasy about life or beyond this life. I am a member of these numerous groups who are all so inspiring- all with some great enlightening, wise and touching posts and insights-that I re-post them to my page.

I often go there to find answers, strength, courage and reasons for life-as at time we lose our way, these FB guides guide me wisely-as all the information is so profound and insightful. This is the gem appeared on my page today-food for though, or rather how I feel….I have added more than a few of my own…many of the below words, statements need much thought and contemplation- some one can just sail through. 

~I hate small talk. I want to talk about, atoms, quarks and quarks, black-holes, string theory, crop circles, dark matter, white matter, time travel, super novas, stars and the universe,  aliens, visitations , animal totems, spiritual guides, angels, other dimensions,- sex, soulmates, twinsouls, tantra, magic, alchemy. Beauty of the arts-be it in watercolour, oil, bronze or even plaster.

Energy fields, soul travel, walk ins-different religions, Gnosticism, enlightenment, channelling-divination, palmistry, numerology, I Ching, what the tarot says, Nostradamus - intellect, philosophy, psychology, mythology, re-incarnation, death, meaning of life, -faraway galaxies, astronomy, astrology-, the pyramids, the Greeks, the Romans, the Maya, the Inca,  the Sumerians,  Atlantis, Niburu-legends, dragons, myths,  monsters – love, sacrifice, and heroism.

The lies you`ve told, the truth of your life, your  honesty, integrity, compassion mercy, forgiveness-your flaws, your loves-your favourite scents, flower, animal, nature, fragrance of newly cut grass-the moon, the sky at night, interpretation of  the whisperings of the wind to you, secrets of your heart that you have never told-your favourite  food, drink. 

Stuff in life that speaks to you-music that makes you dance,  your favourite composer, the poet that moves you,-your favourite movie, that you could watch forever, your favourite piece of music that makes you cry, things that make you laugh-something that you would die for-your feelings about love and forever. 

Your favourite quote, the words you live by, your beliefs, your faith, your relationship to the Creator/God/or whomever-  your childhood memories, your fears, your needs, your pain, your wants, -what keeps you up at night, your insecurities. 

I like people with depth, who speak with emotion, have a twisted mind, are somewhat crazy, but somewhat sane and are filled with love and light- I want to know your very essence-your dreams mostly and wildest fantasies- the good ,the bad the ugly and the gruesome-but more so-your loves, hopes and dreams.

What I really I don`t want to know is the question –what`s up?~

Who is writing these posts?

At times I re-visit my writing –and often I ask myself “who the hell wrote this?” Many. And I have to admit it is, “I” or whomever “me “is, or perhaps some other. At times I even correct the spelling or grammar, for many posts I just read over once with dozens of mistakes; some I never even read over once. I have to admit I am a bit  better though at reading them over the past years. However, I am sure I leave many pondering over the words, including myself as to what do some posts actually are trying to say, or what do some actually mean? Well-“I dunno”!

But back to many of them-I have no idea nor the faintest recollection of ever writing scores of them. I don`t even recognize the vernacular. They just spring onto the screen from some unknown place-they appear out of nowhere, often during the night. Not that they are such great posts, but still I should remember writing them. No? So who is the “I” and who is the  “me”?  I wondered-as I read a few through last night. Strange indeed.
Browning once said-:"When I wrote this only God and I knew what it meant, now only God knows" :-)Yeah-that about says it all.

Wednesday-5th September/18

 For Emese!

Sometimes stuff just happens-you hear something, see something  in some way and  it completely transforms your life. It touches you in the depths of your soul, your heart starts beating faster and suddenly out of the well of sadness answers arrive-or perhaps questions that one can answer. Thus the past week has been kind of a crossroad that I have arrived at rather painfully-an end, but that always leads one to a new beginning. Waking up. Ah, yes-September #9 in numerology. Endings-wisdom and initiation. New energy-light coming up next month, #10. But, #9 has the highest vibrational frequency apart from the master numbers. Yes, I do have #33 in my path. 

Choices we make in life that we have to live with are often hard to make, yet at times life just simply offers it to us in a serendipitous encounter. What happened, is a very sorrowful moment now for me in time. Thus I shall not reveal what happened-non  the less, life has changed and shook me back into realization that everything comes to an end once. At times I seem to forget my own favourite quote; “nothing is permanent but change”.  And no, it is not a man. I have said it many times before but it is now that I truly see life with eyes of spirit.

I have always been very good at making lists of things I want to do, generally at night-the next morning it is hard to accomplish or follow it up with action-something like going to the health club, keeping to a diet, organizing things, saying those daily affirmations  or mantras above all keeping to the plan, living through mindfulness completely. But-one needs to plan the work and work the plan –at this I needed a few hard lessons-thus I have arrived –walking backwards from hence I started-as you so plainly said in one of your blogs, “my other self”. Remember?

Time waits for no man-just yesterday it seems I was a mere child, yet now my child has children. So where does that leave me? Well, leads me to action, to a purpose, to my goal-merely recognizing, seeing  my dharma crystal clear.  All those "should haves, could haves, would haves" have come home to roost.

Page views-Thank you all!

22,438-page views since 2012 of this blog!....from every part of the world. I am floored and deeply humbled!
....I feel awesome, great that so many people are reading my blog....the reality of my life! THANK YOU all !!!! Most sincerely!
Suzanne

Of Muses

It is said that most often than not-many artists, writers or to be the best one can be for inspiration one needs a muse . Most great composers, artists, poets, even great historical figures like Julius Caesar, Napoleon, Marcus Aurelius…. even Albert Einstein had a muse. They are “someone or something” a manifestation form of divine energy of sorts-pushing our deepest buttons, a conduit that  brings forth the best from us in every way .  Well-that is what love does-dosn`t it? Sure, to be an artist or, writer  is still possible without a muse-but a muse is there for motivation and inspiration that come from a very deep soul level-there is a soul connection and a creative energy is unleashed in some form. We are our best when we function from that level-and it is most authentic part of our being which is often locked away. However our muse propels us, to be the greatest that one can be. We are individuals , we are all different as to what we call great. So what I call great is compared to myself-has nothing to do with money nor fame, neither popularity nor success or other people- but satisfaction of the heart within. I often compare it to growth of the soul, as that what the goal is of temporal life.

Muses come in different forms-not necessarily a person,-but, most often it does.  However, anything or anyone that ignites our creative energy-to bring out the best in us, is our  muse. Most often it is an other human being that we feel a deep connection to, a deep spiritual tie, perhaps from an other life time, or other reasons that at this time with our mind we cannot understand. We all have this force within us. perhaps some divine sleeping energy that needs awakening-our muse does that. Most often one thinks of women inspiring men , or men inspiring women, which is true- in a deep romantic way. That is alchemy of  love. When we love, or are loved we create magic-create miracles.This internal fire is ignited within and brings forth our internal light.

Love; in myriads of forms is really the basis of a muse-if there is no love, there is no muse present, so we are not at our best. They emerge from the very essence of the love of God in various forms,- spiritual belief, religion, poetry, music, a beautiful sunset , an awesome snow fall, an ice storm or yes-people we deeply love-at a soul level is often your muse. It is a manifestation of God`s presence in physical form. Not always in the actual physical act of love, but the spiritual act of love.

The philosophy or idea comes from Greek mythology-they had 9 muses in their pantheon, they were all daughters of Zeus,-they ruled over sciences and the arts. In Hindu religion it is Saraswati and numerous others come to mind from ancient texts. Thus the idea goes back a long way-but we all have them and when they intervene, the ideas keep flowing from some divine part of our being and we become the best we can ever be. So-time to find your muse. Have you?

Ageing

Once I read somewhere :”You know you are getting old when you know more dead people than alive ones”. Now, many years later I feel it just maybe true. Though, today however it is an accepted fact that 60 is the new 40-but it depends what you say to your self and self perception. Everything comes from within-we all have all the knowledge on our hard drive, we just need to access the information-and change the text sometimes. This I believe whole heartedly-and re-generation, life extension is not a probability but a definite possibility –it is an actual choice. True, lifestyle comes into play, genes and outlook-but that is a very small percentage. You can actually turn on and off genes-I wrote about this before. But-the thing is it is hard work-there are no magic formulae, neither a silver bullet, neither a short route. TV is full of misinformation and illusions about many products.

Now, the mind is a different matter, also the brain-but one needs to use it or lose it. Many are losing it in front of TVs and sports fields-; observing-it is different who plays and going mad-sweating and stressing, worrying  over small stuff. So, neurogenesis slows down, and more neurons die and ageing is sped up. So get off that butt and get moving. Learning new things, doing new things, reading about new things increases neurogenesis-but also increases awareness. There is a great book by a psychiatrist-Dan Siegel titled:” Aware-the science and practice  of presence. He has some interesting insights in how to slow down the ageing process-also now there are techniques and certain supplements which can actually repair and slow down the “fraying” of the telomeres.

I wasn`t touched by death until I was in my 20, when my grandmother died, but it didn`t stir too much in me as she was in the “old country”. I didn`t even have a dog that died at that point-now there seems to be death everywhere-maybe it is the media, though there were all kinds of gory, murder mystery movies-and westerns way back, but it all seemed fiction. Now it is different-its in your face daily-the news are never good, only bad filled with fear mongering and it all just generates negative energy.

Sure-everyone gets down at times; like myself in the last post, - but it is how one feels generally, and how one looks at things most of the time.  I think the atheist and agnostics really have it-be always in the present, be aware and the rest we shall see when we get there-or not see. However. I plan and have decided  to live well over a 100 with great quality of life;that is a must for all. If you really decide this, it will be so, that is what will happen. We are the creative force-we have free will. It is really all a matter of decision. This is the basis of miracles-faith and belief –but God is within, we are divine sparks-so we are capable. We are the image of God-(metaphor).  Each drop of ocean contains the whole. Maybe we are just fractals of the divine and that is what all the ancient writings have told us-all is possible. We are such a miracle of creation, a miracle of light, a miracle of consciousness, a miracle of pure love.