At times...

Life apart from being like a box of chocolates, for we never know what we may get, but life is also like an elevator ; goes up and down. The Chinese were right so many thousands of  years ago , about yin/yang. The seed of the other is already germinating within the depth of the other-thus nothing ever stays the same. Be that good, or be that bad, for all changes to its opposite.  Just the way it is in creation. Thus, one should never be very comfortable within the position one is in-for sooner or later the tide will turn.

Why this sudden epiphany? Well, today was just a  lousy day-and made me question everything about life . Especially death. I know yesterday I was full of “sunshine and lollipops”, this evening, was  “the dark night of the soul” that seems to prevail over me due to a very emotional experience. But, then again-I should have know as the 20^th of each month is the pits, and on those dates. I often think maybe it is because it was the day my father was buried or some horrible event that may have occurred in a past life. Karma perhaps?  

Maybe “stuff” happens  on these dates because I am because I am expecting them to-we all create our reality and I am creating these specific incidents, I would call them “special dramas” that arise from my subconscious or to be more exact my “higher self”. These incidents more often than not have different players, as it was with this evening-so at times it is outside of my control, but it still affects me terribly even more so than if it was entirely just my own experience. 

But, I really should simply sleep through every 20^th  completely, like a hibernating bear or just escape somewhere, some how. I don`t want this evening ever  to return or remember, above all forget this  night as soon as possible. Hoping it shall not return  too soon- or ever perhaps if I pray hard enough.  Once more I place it all in Her blessed hands-and I know tomorrow will be a better day.