Existing in love #66

Human nature is most strange, especially when it comes to love.

 I read somewhere once, that has stayed in my head,--well the major important  points anyway. It is my translation of it-can`t even remember its origin--where it comes from, or who wrote it, but it did have a profound impression on me.

To love another as a person we must begin by granting them their own autonomy, freedom and identity as a person in every way. Allowing them to be themselves, not what we desire them to be but whom they chose to be in every way. However if we agree disingenuously with each word they say, every action they take or beliefs that they may hold is contrary to love. This is action is born out of fear for them leaving us, deep fear of abandonment, thus we become  prisoners of love. This is a form of slavery for both the lover and the loved--for it is completely insincere and dishonest.

 We should love them for what they are unto themselves, not what they are to us-- for their own good, not for our good, for their own beliefs not for our own. If we really love them, our love should transform us into the other person--seeing what they see, feel what they feel, experience the realities of their life as they do with all sincerity as if it was our very own. We should not want the person to change--but we have to be able to transform ourselves into them entirely,-encompass all that they are, but remaining true to ourselves,-true to our own life at the same time in all its completeness. This is what existing in love is.

Two becoming one, yet-being more than the sum of the two. Sort of having one wing when we are alone, just hopping around on the ground and in the presence of love, one suddenly has two wings and thus is able to fly, to soar to incredible heights.

Such transformation demands sacrifice,--of  acceptance, of surrender, of selflessness, of understanding and of letting go of ego--for without them genuine love is impossible.