Dead birds on pianos #48

To be entirely honest--I thought I would never hear from you. Why? Because at times I am lost as why things happen as they do--Also I wasn`t even quite sure what upset you so much--but now I am clear. Dead is dead, is dead--! Especially dead birds on pianos. Nothing more to say., except I am only enamored with you-no one else.

I wanted to say so much today, but though I said I would be brave and speak up, now I am afraid at this point , I shall wait a little longer--maybe in a while I shall be more courageous. Again--no grand revelation that I wanted to unveil, but just explain and tell you as to why you being so angry is really rather unfounded, well in my eyes. I am sure your heart feels differently.

One  reads things , and at times  one learns from it--it dosn`t mean that, that person one gets the information from is superior, knows more or is a chosen soul. Neither does it mean one is enamored by them--it just means that at certain times others may know, see what we have failed to see. There are things that I am sure which others would also see in you or I that they have failed to see within themselves. A sort of an "aha "moment.

We are all flawed, including all the ones whom are dead, whom were famous, whom we acclaimed in the world and whom the world put on a pedestal. The ones who seemed to have all the answers, they never did--for they were all flawed, had major shortcomings, in many areas--  had their own failings and battles with life. Perhaps some only had more insight into certain areas and could express themselves in a more coherent way than perhaps I could--but your gifts or my gifts are different and just as unique in the world, as theirs. But no one is blessed more--except in different areas, but just as valuable. But every man is  --very, very human, like you and I. No different  at all. I would delve into this deeper, but I don`t want to aggravate you--as I know it does. Though you have no reason to feel the way you do, though I am sure you have some very rational justification within yourself as to why you would.

This is the problem with this writing business, one cannot really elaborate and say what wants to say or it all get s misunderstood.

You are brilliant in so many ways that I cannot even tell you, or count your talents. You have an exceptional  mind, deep philosophical insights, phenomenal writing talent, overall super intelligence that very few can boast about and knowledgeable about things that at least  99.5% of the people do not know about. Plus you are handsome, sweet, have a wonderful loving heart filled with compassion regarding the world and its inhabitants.

You are a wonderful son to your mother, an extraordinary uncle, a most dependable brother, a wonderful counterpart to my soul and my other wing . They, as I-- are truly blessed I can with an honest heart say this. I am sure I would not love you as much as I do were you different. Are you perfect?--of course not, but who is? You are a  true valuable human being of which there  are far few in the world if you look around. Remember--all the traits that you are endowed with cannot be bought by money, fortune or fame. They are gifts of grace from God. And tell me what is more important than this? You see --everybody knows what and whom you are, but often they will fail to tell you. Why? People are jealous, envious and never want what is best for you, just the opposite. Often even in families it happens--including mine.

A Ferrari, a mansion or millions in the bank? Is that what is most important? Maybe to some, but not to the one`s with soul.  We cannot take it with us--all we have is what we accumulate in our heart and what we give away from very selves what counts.

So why blow fire or fumes out your nostrils? I am sure many would give their right arm to be like you and the life that you have. All lives are different--sure we all could be better or worse off. But then who knows what that other "wished thing" holds for one--that is why it is dangerous to pray for things because one may just get it, and it wasn`t what one really wanted in the first place. Then we look back and see that what we wanted we had in our possession all the time.

 All we do in life I have come to see, is  for our own satisfaction, peace of mind and self fulfilment , not for others. Happiness resides within not without, and it is momentary--though we often live under the misconception that were things different we would be more happy, more satisfied. No--that is a delusion. It is great to get recognized, appreciated, but that is secondary. It is always the" now "that counts--to be "present". That is why for me letters, photos are so important--it transports us back to that "now" and one  relives that moment.

I know --maybe at this specific point in time you feel you are not functioning at your full potential,--none of us do ever really,  but if you look at it we all are where we have to be, where we are needed and where we can do the most good though it may not seem like it. I also know that if one really commits to something genuinely, and want it sincerely  it will happen--though I always add : "if it is Your wish and will" for our vision is rather myopic and often we fail to see the larger picture which God is capable of. However action--inertia  is always needed for things to start rolling. I know it is damn hard and frustration is nagging  at us constantly which is standing on every corner,  at every detour  and by every road bump trying to cut us down.

So darling heart, don`t fret, blow steam nor fire--but be happy, joyful and grateful for all that you have. You have a special mission, a wonderful one with these little ones and your family. So many depend on you, need and appreciate you. I am sure that words of appreciation often run short, and are not said to you as often as you would like or as often as your heart would need,--but sometimes people think that you know, whereas at times I know you would like to hear it.

So--I am here to tell you that there are very few in the world as special as you--in all the ways I have mentioned-and the only one that I am enamored with is only you!--and the only one I am in love with is you, and the only one I shall ever love always is-- you. You are so appreciated.