As I was coming home today from mom--I was , well always thinking of you because "Canon "is always playing in my car. Is that good, bad? I have no idea . All I know that you were enamored by Naomi when she sent it to you--though I feel a bit better as I hope and pray, that your soul without knowing recognized that it was really I, otherwise it would really sadden me.-- Now I have to add, anyone apart from us reading this probably thinks I am totally nuts whomever I am--as all of this entries mostly have to do with you. The reason is that I write here as if I would write to you daily, you would absolutely think I was crazy--here probably you visit now and then--probably more then than now.
It is like having a conversation with you--so call me insane or an alien that is fine --as long as I feel that I am talking with you.
Your card today was touching-thank you darling. I know that life is not easy and that often some other aspects of yourself try to escape from bondage. I think --now don`t get me wrong, I am not advocating any strange substance, but at times it is rather justified. Often I wish there was a forest near where I could graze on some mushrooms and the world would be instantly swimming in some psychedelic colors--no such luck.
About today--that site I sent you has a few books that I want to explore--the "Tantra" seems very interesting-No, not for any sexual reasons at all - if that is crossing your mind,. You know I am not into that--maybe if you were here, I would be more than interested--, but alas you are not, so celibate we shall stay.
Also as well as the "Shakta & Shakti" is most interesting--as that what you described yourself in your initial letter oh so many years ago. Remember? --as being your belief system. I read up on it at the time but not in detail--I had no clue as to what that was, --here is rather deep. Well, that is if I shall be able to understand it. But since then you seemed to have covered a huge area of different philosophies, theologies and thoughts. I have no idea where and what you are thinking apart from the yoga
Yes--we search and search and seldom find--lucky is the soul that finds its anchor. The truth is that --there is so much that resonates with one, that it is difficult to follow one thought, or belief. That is why I admire people who can pull together all their philosophies into one package--At this moment Bede Griffiths comes to mind whom I was reading today as well as Srila Prabhupada that also I have been reading much, says--
"At present we are in the clutches of the material energy. Therefore we pray to Krishna that He may kindly deliver us from the service of the material energy and accept us into the service of the spiritual energy. That is our whole philosophy. Hare Krishna means, "O energy of God, O God Krishna please engage me in Your service." It is our nature to render service. Somehow or other we have come to the service of material things, but when this service is transformed into the service of the spiritual energy, then our life is perfect.
To practise bhakti-yoga -loving service to God- means to become free from designations like "Hindu," "Muslim," "Christian," this or that, and simply to serve God. We have created Christian, Hindu, and Muhammadan religions, but when we come to a religion without designations, in which we don't think we are Hindus or Christians or Muhammadans, then we can speak of pure religion, or bhakti".
This makes a lot of sense to me as well as chanting the "maha-mantra" which I have lately-as I told you. It makes me feel good, and does something to my heart. I am not up to the yoga yet--maybe never. No--I do not have the drums yet, nor the saffron robes but something in my heart stirs. You think I am wrong? No-God-is God-is God under any name.
That is the way it is --God speaks to us through different channels. Now don`t get me wrong--I am and always shall be very much a Catholic, and that is how I shall die--that is my religion, but God shows Himself in many forms. My Blessed Mother, my Lady is always the One to whom I am dedicate to--that shall never ever change. But She is "ALL"-is She not , under any name?
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