Things I have always believed happen for a reason-any small thing in life, as well as big Thus when things appear and disappear there is a universal cohesion of sort with something somewhere. I wrote a very long entry titled"Snowflakes", though I hardly remember what it was about except for the last few lines, which read as such--so I shall quote and follow it as to where it will lead me--there has to be some revelation within its symbolism. The lost entry is #27 and an other #24 which I have no idea what it was. But that is fine, I trust it was for a good reason, as I also had a good reason to start numbering them--I remember this from it only #27:
"We are like snowflakes, all different, individual -we exist momentarily as we descend and fall and live on God`s overcoat for a moment. Then we melt back into hence we came, and cease to be no more".
All in one`s life is in motion, a constant dynamic interaction with the Creators/s--the specific original two which are constantly, eternally creating, expanding themselves forward and outward-as an eternal unfolding--outflow. I shall not go this into deeply, as once more it is Rumi`s time, and perhaps these explorations of the "creational theory"is rather deep and heavy rooted in science more so than in the spiritual matter. Or perhaps entwined would be the proper term.
So much has happened on different level that it amazes me, leaves me speechless. Now--I haven`t heard from you in well over a week. I wonder what is happening, but as I have learnt I leave the decision of "us" to you in the physicality, and in the hands of Our Lady in the "spiritual" realms. I hope and wish that all is well with you and everyone. Generally there are two possibilities-either you are very well or very bad. I hope it is the former.
This weekend here has been utter chaos-but it too has already almost passed. I so much yearn to have heard from you,but you have your reasons as all does. Already we are in mid July-how fast this year has passed is incredible and what the future holds is a huge mystery. Introspection lately has pointed out much in many ways as to direction, but--to follow or not is the question of our free will. Every day is a different version-and I have to agree that the ever changing present is at times exciting and challenging, and even painful. I have, and wonder why have we actually signed up for all this.
I am passed outguessing God, or the direction of the universe--I am of the conclusion to go with the flow wherever it may take me. I try the direction of the least resistance and pray it is the way I have to go, and the way God wants me to take--I have no idea if it is the right way or not, but I try my best to at least "do no harm" if I can`t do "good.
As with you--I am in complete darkness. I cease wondering for I cannot second guess you, my soul probably knows. Though we have communicated for the past months almost daily, I still don`t know that much of your present life in Chicago. But-that is fine. You shall tell me if you have the need or the longing to share. So long as things are good and you are on a road that leads you to you specific goal, that is the direction to take. You life has changed so much as I thought about it yesterday--180 degrees from Colorado--even as to the way you sound. Family, responsibility and being emerged in life will do that. Easy being holy in a cloister, hermitage or monastery the real test is the real world of our sanctity as well as a test of our sanity.
Once you said that you would die without writing--it is like breathing for you. I am wondering how you are handling this--or are you actually writing? If you are, perhaps one day you will allow me to read it? What use is a journal or any writing if no one actually reads it--if only oneself reads it , it is senseless.
At times we often do things we regret later--so I am sorry about that. Perhaps my "Snowflakes" entry was about that-but that simply reflects back our humanity and how very imperfect we are. Mistakes , blunders and wrong actions are part of life--but correcting it is the real blessing if one is capable to do that. Well, in English--we learn from our mistakes often in painful ways, but that is progression to higher aspects of awareness. Ah--the caveat being: if we actually exist at all or are we mere snowflakes without awareness, but just aware merely for a moment in the mind of God.
As for us--well all will unfold as does a Lotus and within its centre we shall discover the mystery that lies therein for us. The great secret lies always deep within--What may that be that holds us so? That binds us so together? That attracts us so to each other? This love in my heart for you? I do wonder. When I do such soul searching much springs to mind.
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