St Michael`s College

 
28/03/12

~A beautiful thing never gives so much pain as does failing to hear and see it. ~Michaelangelo

This quote was one of many on the wall in the stairwell of Ontario College of Art, however this was the one that got to my heart....so...I decided to see and hear some beauty.

 

I promised you a while back that I would visit St. Mike`s, I have driven past the campus numerous times, but never stopped. So today I had the pleasure of his company. Sorry, I had no camera with me. Next time, I promise. However you will find some great pictures I took off the internet--well if you can face them. I had to see a patient at the OCA, right downtown as you know, so I decided to visit your fateful habitat--or is that faithful? I drove up St Joseph Street and parked beside the wall of beautiful St. Basil in a reserved spot of some priest. I prayed I would not be towed away--I wasn`t, guess prayers do work .

It was a glorious day, warm just a slight breeze, and I took a walk about. Down the pathway to the central courtyard. Peeked into here and there, checked out the map on the lawn, I wasn`t quiet sure which was your main area of labour. I actually went into Brennan Hall and picked up` The Mike` and the `Toike Oike`, sat on a bench opposite the entrance surrounded by hordes of hungry pigeons. Poor things, I could give them nothing. Gorgeous daffodils and hyacinths already in full bloom in the  rock garden at the side of the building, and it`s only March...and it`s Canada. Imagine that. Stole a small rock as memento which I shall decorate, I am sure God will not strike me dead for it--well He just may. You know me and reminders. I will never learn, will I ? 

Anyhow, I read the latest campus news,-- not much a-happening, just politics, politics and more politics everywhere even in school--the world never changes, does it? I even laughed at a joke or two.

 Listen to this--, this is sooooo funny-- our latest Toikeoscope said:

- Cancer;Your sign is cancer? How fitting.

- Aries; The average person eats three spiders a year, but as you`re about to find out, it takes an entire year for three spiders to eat a person...LOL

 
 Then I went into St. Basil. It was 12.10pm/ would you believe mass was just staring, well I guess God was stating something, well to me, maybe to us--who knows.  I sat in very last pew, and  I had a wonderful vantage point to examine all that beauty of this little Gothic church. I have never been in it, never even knew it existed, what a treasure in the heart of Toronto. Shame on me.

A young priest was saying  mass, and  the place was dim, hardly any lights, just two candles burning on the alter, above it that huge oak crucifix.  The exquisite oak carvings behind the alter,--the alter piece, reminded me of  lace and those Gothic churches in Europe. The confessionals with the red curtains, not many people say confession these days, this one is still open for business I guess--you could smell the oak wood mixed with incense. The stained glass windows with just a touch of  little sunlight coming through which painted with place with a touch of magic. The white marble carving of the `Pieta` on the right,---the little red jars with candles flickering at Mary`s  feet as she was gently cradling her child in her arms. What a sad melancholic sight, how very painful to lose a child, especially if you are a mother-- the Mother of God in fact. God herself...Hmm.

 Opposite, you remember, Jesus with one hand pointing to his heart the other in benediction, with white jars of larger candle offerings burning close to his feet. Yep, I lit one for our family and us. Took communion. I remembered you saying that you haven`t since your First Communion,--Sorry , no, actually I do recall you saying you did but just once, not long ago.  I kinda smiled to myself. Why? Well, because you really love God, more than most, blessed with grace more than most, understand more than most, believe more than most yet, you are in a continual battle with--well with Her. A never ending war, to the death--Battle Star Oliver. Will you ever allow yourself peace? Will you ever accept peace?

You know, I think I am the only person on earth who really knows you, maybe better than your own mother. I know exactly how you feel, I wish I could help--I have held out my hand, you refuse to take it. Why? Because then you just may suffer less and that just will not do. Will it? You have to keep on suffering to the bitter end to prove your point. You can`t be happy--well that is a mortal sin. To love a woman, be loved--out of the question once your conscience got to you. Guilt about what? Only Mary. No, no, she won`t tolerate any other. Well you more or less  spelled it out  in one of your letters. However, you`re wrong. She loves us both and always wanted the best for us, including loving each other. If you listen hard enough you will hear her tell you the truth. Ask her. No, I am not demented neither am I obsessed in any way or form. Well if truth be told--we are both demented. Have you read any of your letters and cards lately? Not that I am complaining--but you are just as bad as I.

Suffering is where it is all at for you. Isn`t it? The dark, the underworld, the grief and pain that is where all the treasure is beheld. Well, you are so wrong.--Ok, I shall stop the sermon. I have my dark-side too including major problems, macro personality flaws and hangups by the score. So, welcome to the club. Welcome to good old terra firma and the human race....So then who am I to preach?

Anyway, --then there are those stations of the cross. I thought about you looking a the 12th, you once commented that, that is the one that moves you most, that is the one that has any meaning for you--well they all moved me. Can`t recall a single word the priest said in his sermon--, it was short that`s all I know. I was elsewhere.  --It all  really felt sacred, a blessed place. I was truly happy to be there, be part of the place that you once were part of, you once occupied.  It felt good, felt close to you and I felt a real closeness to God.

Yes, I thought much of you as I sat there--the good times you probably had there, the bad and the ugly. The hummingbird. The pain, the hurt, the anger-- and all the love, all the passion and all the tears. The disappointments, the broken dreams and feeling rejected by God herself. All the self flagellation that you seem to want to inflict continually on yourself. Always wanting more never satisfied with yourself, or with God. You don`t get it Oliver do you?...You are just a man. God I am sure wants nothing more nothing less from you, just your love.

Do you recall the stain glass over the main entrance? It is Jesus crowning Mary in heaven, with angels hovering around her, oh-- it is so very beautiful.  Over the other door is the risen Christ, conquering death itself. Victorious, triumphant and glorious, as we may be one day. Who knows? Then of course there is, St Basil himself carved from some light coloured wood standing watch over the entire scene, yes...with a money box at his feet--for the poor...LOL. Kinda took the mystery away a bit, but guess the poor have to eat.

So, that is the kind of day it has been here in TO.

~Every beauty which is seen here by persons of perception resembles more than anything else that celestial source from which we all are come~Michelangelo