Very last letter

 

31 January/2010

Tell me what the purpose of the letter last Monday was, since I haven`t heard a word from you since? It was rather perplexing. You are rather  busy with your life these days I see. You know me, not as intelligent as you I have to admit, however I do know many things not by my own doings or accord which  I have to admit.

A few weeks ago something very strange happened, what is irrelevant at this point  for I doubt at this point such things will interest you now. One day it will be revealed.  Yes, I have been reading you posts not of my accord either. Remember what happened to Icarus? Temptation comes and shows its ugly head in many ways, and the sad thing is it seems so enticing, filled with promises. But that is its secret, the very nature of the beast.

No I am no Morgana…, I am no seer, nothing special, know nothing, see nothing, the only gift I have is being able to accept in love what I have been given in love and listen thus I hear clearly.  Perhaps I am that side which you so shun, fear run from within yourself looking in all the wrong places when it is staring you in your very soul.

Man is blinded by the ego, oh so very easily. We are such miserable creatures thinking we can out maneuver the Divine  Plan. Sadly, you have chosen great  pain that awaits you in the darkness and that progress is backwards. I would take some of this terrible pain from you, but you haven`t given it to me. You are not very good at learning lessons are you my sweet Cicu?.. or see what is really important and think that you know much. For that was given to you in love are gifts beyond measure. But with gifts come responsibility and thus those are tested harshly to see if we are truly worthy. No--you nor anyone knows nothing. Tricks, parlor games of the ego robs us of sight,. All is to pull us deeper into the abyss of no return, see it, feel it, touch it. Don`t be misled by illusions, delusions, promises of power and of might for these things man shall not reach though these actions. You have free will to see the truth and free will to reject it.

I told you, well  in the  past, that your life, if you  so choose will be guided by the Divine, and it is always your choice to reject or accept it. Help is there always, all you need is to ask for it--thought you may find all this rather a lowly, base, ignorant  and perhaps just idle chatter from the sub-conscious mind, it is not. Remember; truth comes to the heart to whom is sincere, who sincerely asks. Humility and gratitude are the moving forces, not pride, arrogance and self aggrandizement. Remember the `Emperor and his clothes`? Keep that in mind! People are seldom what they seem and seldom better. Most live from egoyand the rest can go to hell when it suits them.

You know more, feel more see more that you can ever imagine, will ever imagine but all is used in the wrong way and you seek in the wrong places. Think about it. Don`t squander it on  the unworthy. Choose wisely to whom you impart the secrets of your soul to. I cannot may not say, but you know far too much and at times what you know  may frighten you for you don`t really want to know in your heart the truth. It is the way that you use it is the importance for it will destroy you otherwise. Danger lurks if you are not careful and you at this point are not very vigilant. I do know and see ever so clearly that saddens me deeply, especially lately. You are being used badly and you are allowing it!

I was going to deliver you some  messages though. The prerequisite was that  you have  had to asked the right questions. You were supposed to ask I  was  not to say anything to you, however sadly the time is over. You didn`t ask them. BTW…I have to stress very strongly : all this was before all this flurry of excitement and activity on R- F. Trust me it will all settle down and all will be left are the ashes of the plain truth. Oh…but they love so very much you don`t they? I have to smile. I dare you to ask them to send you each $20 saying that you need it badly and that is the requisite of the `light beings` or the Ashtar Commander, oh sorry the great lord Lucifer himself. Rather materialistic but that is where the world is at and that want has a cost to most. But that is OK No hard feeling baby! Do I feel bad. Not really just pained

at seeing all this played out  in front of me so very dramatically.

Yes ,you and I are special, both we posses  great powers but need to practice it ,no special methods required; no special attunement, no special crowning of glory from the ignorant, the blind, from the deaf, the dumb, the lost and  the infirm of spirit . There are many dark souls, dark out of their own choice thinking, wanting to be Godlike. Oh, the fall of man, don`t fall into that trap for easy to descend and very hard to ascend! The  ego is an ugly beast destroying all, there is no sin just ego that is which cuts the soul off from God.

You think you need the glory, the adulation the clamoring. Ah, but it all depends who it comes from! You and I are different to all those who think they know, have special methods or as all those others who think that they gifted by the spirit, they are not.  But there is a difference between thinking. You know and actually knowing. why or for what purpose all this is  coming about, it all has a reason. At this point it has faded into the distance so I am told.

Promises made, promises broken. Well that is all from either the soul or ego, you have chosen at this time to go with ego. Wrong choice. Don`t tell, mislead people about things that you actually genuinely  don`t believe in, don`t know. Oh You  wish you could believe ,but don`t, say things which are not true, never do things which you wouldn`t say in the open to God. You are confused, yet the truth is glaring you in the face.. But remember who will  be left beside you at the end of the day that is the question. Who? You will be entirely alone if you proceed on this path. All is a grand test now, the greatest in your life ever.

Remember? Think back --who told you to open this group? Who had faith in you? Who said just do it? Who always was with you, who told you it would be alright if you followed the rules. Who was it that always encouraged you? Who is it that really loves you apart from your mother? But maybe you have a short memory of convenience. No times don`t change only ego rises. It is alright sweetheart as you say things change, but they don`t really do they?

My poor, poor Cicukam, my darling O, my heart is bleeding truly for you. Likes attract likes and now you have found it and are blinded! Never chose the cowards way out. Be very, very careful, walk in the light and reject the darkness.

You think  that you no longer need me. Wrong . Won`t take long to see, though pride will prevent you from acknowledging it.  I though don`t need no empty promises of eternal love. I don`t need someone who is not honest, or is in sincere. You have been dishonest, you have been doing things without saying a word. You see that is where we differ I could never, ever have done that. It is nothing major, inconsequential, however it is the small things that reflect the truth. People think you are so great, be careful it may bust Your head, break you heart into million pieces and shatter your soul at the same time forever--after that return is very difficult. We all have to pay dearly for our actions! People are very un-grateful You will find out, especially if you will truly need something. And I don`t mean an attunement, but something that is of substance for that which demonstrates spirit. I have been there done that--seen great groups come and go. People don`t care about you just themselves and their lives that is why the world is in this state. Their attention span is rather short. Love, compassion, mercy are but empty words, it has left the building. I am sorry that you are so taken in. You are so different yet you lower your standards. That is fine I am not here to instruct you in any way--just an observation.

I thought I did, my best, loved fully, passionately, but looking at the picture now--it was not enough for you. Yes, I deserve more, know more, see more and my love is far too precious to squander when I am not appreciated at all. I was totally taken in, conned, lied to, mis-led, rakes over the coals in more ways that one, used, trampled on when it was convenient for you. Those are not the tendencies of a noble spirit, of a refined soul or an upright human being. A spirit that professes to walk with angels, one who seeks a higher purpose, who thinks is of a higher realm. Your now company includes a bunch of misled misfits, paranoid, schizophrenic souls who need help real bad, who cling to straws for they have all lost their way and feel important building their own paranoid world of make belief and you associate with them? Feel akin to them?

Unbelievable.  Oh, no shortage of time there for them; Sad! But then if those people make you feel important, happy, powerful who think you are a gift to the world, massage your ego so be it-- so be it sweetheart! One day you will cry in a dark place where nobody will see, you care and you will be a solitary soul crying in the wilderness begging for compassion, mercy and love, and none will hear you or care and all shall have left you. Only loneliness shall be your companion.

I am sorry for all the time you wasted on me, but I think it was great for your ego for a while. Love? It was there for a moment, it is  now lying in the under current being washed over by the waves. Can it be recovered? I don`t know. I know you loved me, but do you love yourself enough? At this time your ego is being massaged and feel important in such a small way--how very shallow that is. We know nothing. That psychological garble about all that energy stuff and the likes. All fruits of deluded minds! I know you believe not a word of it, --wishing it to be true. But do you have enough faith to believe it? Just makes you feel good as you try and find God. Though She is ever present, but you constantly keep testing. She dosn`t have to prove anything to you, you have to Her.--Your mind is playing tricks on You sweetheart!

Meddle not in things you know little about! --and many things will forever remain a mystery. Testing, questioning the unfathomable, the nameless, timeless it will only hinder your progress. This is a serious message…Not from me!

Believe me, the truth which you should see you don`t. You think and want power so badly as to sacrifice your very soul on the alter of delusions, tricks and lies. It is not for you to have what you want  this way, you just may lose your very soul. You cannot attain it this way. You had all the answers in your hands and you have now lost it temporarily maybe forever. It is up to you. Now you have taken very serious steps backwards and the consequences await you if you don`t mend your ways. Remember I am the one who really know you. You certainly are allowed to disagree, and may not think that, but trust me I do. I really do!

I am sure you are intelligent enough  as to what parts are from me and which are not, but then I wonder what you really believe these days?--so read it in such context as a riddle you have to read it. It is a rather complex letter--parts from me, parts from Her, you have to decipher it yourself.

What a very sad note to end all this on. Do forgive me…all the mistakes, as you by now know I don`t read what I write!

Ever loving You…darling , sweet Cicukam:

S-Q