In and out of my life--I seem to think it used to be a song-- yes by Streisand. Life is like that, one day we are so passionate about each other, about certain ideas, philosophies, things--the next the feeling is totally lost. How can one hold on to the emotion about anything? To a belief, in love, in anything ? How could one just live it forever? How sad, we could , yet we choose not . Why is that? I have wondered. The funny thing with me is that the people I sincerely were in love with that I honestly cared for whom were truly special--are still that to me. So are ideas, my religion and certain things that have touched me. It seems I haven`t changed. How is that strange or what? Am I just weird, an oddity or a quirk of nature? Probably a freak of nature would be a better term.
The odd thing about all this love business that the whole world simply revolves around the idea, and suddenly in a moment the individuals involved turn on a dime, and all changes. Why? It is all beyond me. Maybe it is my 17th century spirit-- or the love eternal thing, or plain madness. Probably the latter--the world seems to make no sense in anyway.
I have lived a few years, yet have learnt nothing, except that nothing makes sense, nothing has a purpose and above all nothing we have been taught is the truth. Why may you ask. Well--all is love, love love--we are taught by our revered gurus, sages, spiritual masters. Where is it in the world all this love? Starvation, disease, famine, wars, hate, killing, death-- all our own doing. We could change it, but we have no inclination whatsoever. This is the lager global picture, as well as the small personal picture-- all is the same. All Fractals. Religion has made no difference, new age philosophy neither, nor all the talk of spirituality--we are one screwed up bunch of so called enlightened homo sapiens.
Our life is based on --love, well so called. We fall in love, then a moment later we do the vilest things to our so called `eternal love`--how cruel and barbaric is that. Even swans know better, have more love for each other as they mate for life. I am disgusted at life, truly. Not because of romance, or my personal life- but at man in general, me included. We are one bloody one vile species, no animal does what we do to each other, to our own kind. No wonder the star ships are coming to save what is left of our miserable little so called species-- I recommend to the Galactic Federation of Light-- don`t waste your time, we are not worth it. We have been lost a long, long time ago. And if we were your experiment, well you screwed up royally-- the experiment failed dismally. Time for a new experiment-- this one is kaput.
We just dream, wish and live day to day waiting for --well whatever we are waiting for. At times it is probably death-- an escape from this, well probably hell. Maybe that is a bit harsh, however, it ain`t paradise for no one-- ask the richest or the poorest, the idiot or the sage --all just simply have a question mark over their head. We know absolutely nothing.
Live in the `now` says Tolle, connect to Source says Dyer, live in spirit say Chopra, live in Christ says Benedict, live in prayer says Our Lady, live connected say O`Donahue, live in love says Rumi, live in the world says Dawkins, live in fear says Lucifer and I can go of forever--yet no one knows one blessed thing for sure. Now that is the fact!-- the only truth is we shall all die, and apart from Jesus who came back from the dead--, well even that is questionable. So then, where do we stand-- nowhere.
Well -- I have totally gone of on a tangent from the beginning of this post--anyhow, guess that does prove how crazy I am. Yes, nothing makes sense, love life and the whole damn thing. Maybe some magic mushrooms would do the trick-- however I don`t have access it, so here I am wallowing in misery and in mystery about the whens, the hows and whys of life--But, to be perfectly honest, not even the mushrooms could give me an answer--it didn`t to Terrence MacKenna--even he`s dead . Shame he wasn`t able to see whether he was right or wrong--probably wrong I assure you.All you people with great expectations about 2012, well you are in all for a huge disappointment!--21st of December 2012 will come and go, and the 22rd will just be an ordinary day. Oh, poor human species that we are, thinking we are so special. News flash; We are at the bottom of the Totem Pole my dearly beloved, get used to it. The God didn`t only abandon Antony, He abandoned all of us.
Quetzal
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