Beguiled-revisited

...from an other closed blog from the mists of time lost many years ago titled: "The Clocks" !

Some thoughts today-You have sent me a card, and have said absolutely nothing!-I am very sad. I think I have deserved more than that. Maybe some explanation of the flow of your life, yet there is none. Is this love?

Today I received a card from you. Sort of neutral.That is fine-but I am beguiled by you. You are an enigma,what are your thinking.  Anything?... at this space is not clear as to what is being said, and some what is not. I am happy you are back and things are settling down, though you are homesick. I doubt for the cornfield or the work, but for the solitude or being able to commune with nature.

What do I say to you my dearest, what can I say? These past days I have said so very much that it actually astounds me. I wish you would just say a few words, even in a whisper will do. We are at these times  so far apart that it scares me to death. Why? Because you tell me nothing. but-you have to want to tell  me, yet you don`t.

I think I have decided that this is the way I shall communicate with you on a a deeper level, be that it may whether you read it or not, one day you will.  I have run out of option as to how to do it, for we seem to be pulling further and further apart. I hope it is a temporary things at this point, for it would kill me.

Now, the image is your protector, your guide and your special friend. You haven`t even acknowledged him maybe to yourself but not to me. Not that I need any recognition, but I was the in between person the one that was given the gift to present him  or introduce you to him. Why? Well, I suppose maybe he is a kin of my beloved Xerxes. At time he is much forgotten, but he is a loyal companion, and when I need advice  or help he is always there. I feel ashamed that he is so neglected.

Corn and days in the sun seem important to you. We each have our love. Mine is the sea, as you know. I dream of being there walking on the shore and watching the tides come in.  How wonderful it would be to be lying there on the beach with you watching the stars  and the moon, naked under a blanket exploring each others body. The gentle wave lapping at the shore and  us making passionate  love on the beach. Would you like that? Making love to me? Do you ever think of that? Mmm are you perhaps afraid to, or embarrassed? Why ? If you love me? Okay enough of this subject as it seems to make you feel uncomfortable I feel. Not me!

So, back to the day.  You were on my mind and as to which way to proceed. I wanted a sign from God, You haven`t opened my last card, but you sent a neutral one.When that happens, I know you are not too engaged.You are so complicated and convoluted. Now this is not in a bad sense, but different as to the world.

You men of intellect, of genius of God are so impossible to figure out, so impossible to love. Yet we do love you so.