One goes through phases in life, phases in
time when one seems to question everything-and at times one loses direction. I am at this point now. Many years ago there
was a book titled: ”Passages”-which at the time did not resonate much with me,
but now it does. I now recognize all the
passages in my life. These days it feels and seems like –I have been there,
done that, have the T-shirt now what? Rather frustrating when the road is so
foggy, but I wonder what will appear, as there is always a reason for everything
that happens on this journey called life. Alan Watts is right-it is not a journey at all, but a musical thing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBpaUICxEhk
I am debating within me the idea of taking off at least a year in the form of a sabbatical from my work. I need to try to figure out myself-who am I really, as these days I hardly know the question, never mind the answer. In the modern world these days we tend to forget ourselves as we run after the material stuff. I have done that for far too long.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBpaUICxEhk
I am debating within me the idea of taking off at least a year in the form of a sabbatical from my work. I need to try to figure out myself-who am I really, as these days I hardly know the question, never mind the answer. In the modern world these days we tend to forget ourselves as we run after the material stuff. I have done that for far too long.
As I stated in some previous post-I do have
a plan and do work the plan these days,-I have changed direction to some
degree, but I don`t think it`s enough-for it dosn`t seems to satisfy my heart nor
spirit. Something seems to be missing. There is a deep restlessness within me,
a need of something that I seem to lack-yet I have no idea what it is. I am
searching for something that I feel I need, but cannot say what that is-perhaps
I am hoping once I glimpse it, I will recognize it. Maybe it is just the years
catching up with me- or a realization that life seems to be like an empty
vessel. Some say this is the sign of waking up-of becoming conscious. Stepping
out of the old paradigm and into a new one, cutting the chords of old is a
difficult process. A step into a new
dimension is not easy-neither is it a pleasant experience, rather foreign to
our human nature.
So where does all this leave me-the words
that come to mind is “ totally and utterly perplexed”-the only thing making
sense this very moment is the soul-soothing music of Pachelbel`s Canon in D-Major. I am home doing the musical thing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVn2YGvIv0w
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