Music and remembrance

Music makes one remember many things-I have been  listening to some old stuff all day-and reminds me of so many things and people, events and happenings in my life. Memories just flood my mind. It feels wonderful, and also very sad at the same time-so I am torn. People I have loved, people I have lost comes to my mind. But nothing stays the same, so everything must change-and change it will as we ourselves do.  But whatever happened cannot be undone, neither ever forgotten.

Many things we can do, however we cannot dictate an other`s reaction, neither can we get into their skin and shake them into reality, nor can we force any one to love us. Human nature is a strange creature, often it will sabotage itself, just to prove a point-which is neither here nor there-for whatever we do the only person that cares or matters is ourselves. It is ourselves we hurt-or the one whom we actually love. Nobody cares on the planet-friends or strangers at times even family a twat about how we react, what we do or say-all news are old news by tomorrow. We desperately want to keep up appearances. We so often bite of our own nose to spite our face-the we feel miserable and sad, all because of our own stubborn nature, or hardness of heart-just to make point. Rather a sad reflection on humanity- sadly we all fall into this basket of deplorable behaviour.

Thus so many hearts gets broken for no apparent reason-for more often than not there is a miscommunication-or many misunderstandings. True-we fall out of love as often as we fall in love-but love cannot be undone, that is why we are often are so angry about the situation-for we are helpless in undoing love.

We are creatures of habit, thus relationships fall into this category-especially as more time is spent within a relationship, and then often when the break up comes –we thing back at the special moments; often forgetting the bad moments. It is like ‘I can`t live with him, neither can I live without him’-so it is a constant festering pain in the heart that never ends no matter who else may turn up in one`s life, one always returns to that special love-which often is rather scarce-and has influenced our life forever, perhaps many lifetimes; maybe we have these special relationships rather seldom, if we are lucky perhaps one or two-or three at best. 
Forgetting is quite impossible.- and maybe it is a good thing in a way as all memories are very vivid living entities, for the present is but a brief moment in time. Only what is present in our hearts minds. Understanding the chemistry of love is very difficult and complex-hard to fathom out.

I can honestly say that I have had quite a few relationships in my life, but I have loved and have been only deeply loved by three people only. I guess I am very lucky-some can never say these words-so I have memories to keep me company as I look back on my life. And I smile and feel joy and happiness.