The whole

Life is like a yo-yo-up and down. I know I keep saying this, but I cannot stress this hard enough.  Why? I have no idea, I just need to say it for each day I wake up it is never what I expect it to be. These days it is better, for I have made “tapping” a habit, and life is much more predictable, but scary in a way, for I see things unfold, or rather know the results. And let me tell you a secret-it works like magic, it is the most mystical thing I have ever experienced in my life and it is so very scary.  Sometimes I am afraid to use it for it feels like it is sorcery  and it quite frightens me for I seem to be able to control all that I wish or want.

So, now I am   ever so careful of what I want-I leave it out there in a way, for I feel that at times what I want is not what I need, or what needs to happen.  I allow  my  “higher self” to drive the boat, or rather-God, for that is our divine pilot, our guiding spark. Am I making sense? Perhaps not, for what I am trying to say needs to be understood by the soul. 

I have always said that we control our lives, but truly-I had serious doubts, but now each day I can actually prove it to myself, and it is a very strange and scary phenomena for me-but I am getting used to it. Gratitude , intention and gratefulness  comes into play most profoundly –I cannot explain how, but those are the main ingredients. We always say-“love” is the mover and shaker-but I am finding “love” to be the end result, not the actual moving force. Now, probably this is the end goal, the purpose of everything, of all of existence.

No-I am no philosopher-however one  needs not be, for we each have our purpose and our own truth to follow, which is a different path of every individual. I feel that I am seeing life, events, happenings more clearly now. Is it just the result of experience, of enlightenment , of awakening? I have no idea.  In fact I am sure of absolutely nothing! Who ever tells you they know-they are liars. As Alan Watts had said-anyone who tells you they have the answers to enlightenment are liars-we each have the answers, for we are part of the "whole".

“For every individual is a unique manifestation of the “whole”, as every branch is a particular out reaching of the tree. To manifest individuality, every branch must have a sensitive connection with the tree, just as our independently moving and differentiated fingers must have a sensitive connection with the whole body. The point, which can hardly be repeated too often, is that differentiation is not separation.”

― Alan Wilson Watts,