Sad tale indeed

This is the story of a dear friend-a tragic story, for he was surrounded by many who loved him-including me. He was the anchor to so many. No one saw what was coming, no one did anything, neither did I.

"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars / But in ourselves, that we are underlings.”

Has it ever happened to you that you see a picture a thousand times and you don`t really see what is staring you in the face? Things happen, and we allow it go by, while we  make excuses, blaming ourselves and agonizing over things that we haven`t really done. We punish ourselves, feel guilty and beat ourselves up-for that which is really the behavior, or the action of an other.  Then suddenly from out of nowhere like a lightening bolt it hits us and we have an epiphany-often far late in the game, or when the game is actually over. We see the truth.
 

You see sometimes when we love someone so very much, that we make them out to be perfect, flawless, magical beings-no one is, nor can anyone live up to that.  Then when things go wrong we judge ourselves instead of facing the truth-which is that the fault lies in this “magical being” that has lost all  sense of direction. This “blind” behavior from us  dosn`t help anyone, none more so than the person who is in the quicksand, sinking fast.  You don`t just cry, or pray over an accident victim who is dying, but you perform  CPR on them. 
 

The sad thing is that even when we see the problem, we have this fear that if we confront the person things will get even more drastic and we will loose the person totally. And we don`t say a word, but eventually we do loose them anyway- as instead of intervening we add fuel to the fire. We enable them in the name of love-which is a total misconception and a tragic lie.  Thus the term is perfectly right, “love, is deaf, blind and dumb”-we give them permission for them to continue their destructive behavior-by being silent, and we are just as guilty of killing them as if we had taken a knife and plunged it into them. 
 

When all has ended-everyone is sorry, and  the blame game starts and we weep over their coffin. So, if you are in a situation as this-say something, do something.  Don`t be an enabler-in whatever the method of choice for the person is leading to their self destruction-and there are many choices: drugs, alcohol, suicide to name a few. The truth is –that they do have their valid reasons-often a deep painful wounding of the soul, it is not just bad behavior, or a disease, or genes. They are just very vulnerable, sensitive souls-often not meant for this harsh, cruel world. Don`t make excuses, don`t be blind, deaf nor dumb.  Intervene-for guilt is an awfully horrible haunting ghost. Help them while there is time-hear their cry, hear their SOS. Perform that CPR if you care or love the person, even if they get angry or mad.