The sheet

I wonder if we had no mirrors, no feedback from others, if we would actually know our age. Would we feel differently about ourselves-as opposed to adoring youth and beauty?  Could we imagine our appearance as we get older?- for no matter what age we are, we feel the same if we had no mirrors to reflect back our image.  This preoccupation with physical beauty is a strange human phenomena- I think that this is definitely one reason why I think that the soul actually exists. It knows no age, though it is self realized, but without a mirror it most certainly could not identify its age. I mean-human age, not soul age.

Interesting thing to muse upon. Now, if this is the truth-which is-then surely anything to do with the body-namely looks, would have nothing much to do with its inner life. Why is it so worshipped then? Youth, beauty is glorified in a sense-and we each try and escape the clutches of time. We try and erase every small appearance of aging-yet it is impossible to escape.

Years ago- someone I still  love dearly taught me an important lesson-well many lessons throughout our long relationship in fact. I was always very self conscious about myself, and had not that many experiences with men-apart from my husband whom I married when I was 21. So-when I met this person I fell deeply in love-physically as well as emotional. He was sort of a guru to me in a very special way as many of the basis of my beliefs stem from him-which I appreciate to this day. Many lessons of spirit, of heart and of soul were learnt because of him. His deep spiritual light has given much direction to my life and realization of purpose.  I treasure him in my heart.

One important lesson he taught me was a difficult one for me indeed.  This was in the early days of our relationship I learnt that we have nothing to be shy about our body- neither to be ashamed of it for any reason. Before he arrived in my life- I had always made love in the dark, it was something almost carved in stone. It was how it was done, in my mind-maybe the remnants of my convent upbringing. I had never seen a man naked before, and I was never seen naked before.

One evening we were sitting in bed, I with the sheet wrapped around me-in the haze of candle candlelight, a little wine and the beautiful melody of Ed Ames singing “Who will answer”-he suddenly turned to me and said-please drop the sheet and go and switch on the light. I said –“no”. He insisted –I was adamant and awfully shy. He was very persistent-“You know” he said, “this body pointing to me-is simply a vehicle to carry and transport your intellect around and above all your soul. There is absolutely no reason to be shy about it, feel bad about it for is very special-no one on the planet is like you; nor will they ever be you.  You have to love it, be kind to it and be proud of it. You are special-no one walking the planet is like you-looks like you, no matter how you look- you look just simply beautiful.  Not because of visual beauty, but beauty of spirit and the beauty of your light. So drop the goddamn  sheet-and switch on the light". 

 Took many more kisses  and  an another  10 minutes of coaxing but-I did. I drop the goddamn sheet.