Short note to you

Strange human life, strange we humans. Lately I am filled with peace, for some reason in my soul I have come to terms with love. Maybe it is that I see things differently-but I am not as needy, or perhaps obsessed with the ideas of love. Love  just is. I simply love and that is entirely sufficient, it is what it is and how it has to be, to be  real--I do not need re-assurance, a testament or a daily assurance from anyone for now. I know that love given is what is real, not the one received. Though I have to confess that being loved, being needed, being complement, is an adjunct to reinforce, or to complete the circle,- but it has to pour out from the other`s soul freely, without any force, without any fear without any enticement. If it is, that is great, otherwise it is not love at all but self delusion. 

Peace fills my heart , it washes over me like a warm embracing wave. A joy that which fills me completely--  I feel serene, fulfilled and do not lack or feel neglected at all-for I know I am loved. Words are beautiful  but when it is without sufficient feelings of spirit, without flow of grace from the soul that is the very spirit of God-it becomes empty and hollow. I also  realize that at time it is from the heart, at times a need to satisfy the soul these are human qualities, our human weaknesses and stresses of life in general.

Things always change –they do in a most peculiar way  at times for the better-at times for the worst;  perhaps, sort of settles into our way of life-for all--why? To reflect. Or perhaps there is a message from God for some-, for me for sure, that teaches me acceptance, peace and transcendence, which has touched me deeply. I have no need of daily communication, reassurance to validate my feelings. We are all different, yet the same-I feel safe and grounded.

I suppose this is for a number of reasons--I now feel entirely liberated, free. We only realize things in all its perspective, in its beauty, in its value, in its passing. I feel I am blessed for I am constantly trying to be aware of it all that  which is in my life, I appreciate all and be grateful for all before its passing.

At times I feel that I keep re-visiting your letters to Naomi-she, my otherself, it tells me that you are still looking for something- which I actually have found it. Why I am saying this--it is because of your letters to her were full of yearning of things which you already had, possessed yet did not realize, maybe you should read a few sometimes and contemplate as to what your really want: is it the chase?- is it the challenge? -or the "new experience"?- which you think is more fulfilling, or perhaps the shine has gone and there is some tarnish. Ah, but you see things of value always have patina! I tell you -happiness, joy, love lies and comes from within one, not without.

Your words say that you are happy- I am very glad. You deserve that-we all do. Now-the ball is in your court -whether you hit it or not is up to you. It needn`t have ended this way. You chose this road, after all these years it seems a bit odd--but then, it is all up to you. I am leaving it all up to you. We shall have plenty of time in heaven to talk of things that we have not discussed here on earth--I am convinced of that. This is a very comforting thought.-oh, just a reminder- it is Zsuzsa.