Peace fills my heart , it washes over me like a warm embracing wave. A joy that which fills me completely-- I feel serene, fulfilled and do not lack or feel neglected at all-for I know I am loved. Words are beautiful but when it is without sufficient feelings of spirit, without flow of grace from the soul that is the very spirit of God-it becomes empty and hollow. I also realize that at time it is from the heart, at times a need to satisfy the soul these are human qualities, our human weaknesses and stresses of life in general.
Things always change –they do in a most peculiar way at times for the better-at times for the worst; perhaps, sort of settles into our way of life-for all--why? To reflect. Or perhaps there is a message from God for some-, for me for sure, that teaches me acceptance, peace and transcendence, which has touched me deeply. I have no need of daily communication, reassurance to validate my feelings. We are all different, yet the same-I feel safe and grounded.
I suppose this is for a number of reasons--I now feel entirely liberated, free. We only realize things in all its perspective, in its beauty, in its value, in its passing. I feel I am blessed for I am constantly trying to be aware of it all that which is in my life, I appreciate all and be grateful for all before its passing.
At times I feel that I keep re-visiting your letters to Naomi-she, my otherself, it tells me that you are still looking for something- which I actually have found it. Why I am saying this--it is because of your letters to her were full of yearning of things which you already had, possessed yet did not realize, maybe you should read a few sometimes and contemplate as to what your really want: is it the chase?- is it the challenge? -or the "new experience"?- which you think is more fulfilling, or perhaps the shine has gone and there is some tarnish. Ah, but you see things of value always have patina! I tell you -happiness, joy, love lies and comes from within one, not without.
Your words say that you are happy- I am very glad. You deserve that-we all do. Now-the ball is in your court -whether you hit it or not is up to you. It needn`t have ended this way. You chose this road, after all these years it seems a bit odd--but then, it is all up to you. I am leaving it all up to you. We shall have plenty of time in heaven to talk of things that we have not discussed here on earth--I am convinced of that. This is a very comforting thought.-oh, just a reminder- it is Zsuzsa.
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