It isn't only that we
live in the wrong time, cica, but we are in the wrong place too. When I imagine
us being together, it is always South Africa, and always and forever now in
relation to a certain species of tree; a tree which has gripped my soul and taken
her into itself with endless dreams and nameless longings.
But see, I truly
believe that a part of you never left; that a part of you walked away from your
life as you know it now and made her own way into the world in another place.
And I very much would have wanted to get to know her; she who has the soul of a
tree.
South Africa. But
why? Somehow you have filled the psycho-geography of it with a richness and a
depth of power and meaning that has forever wrapped my heart in subtle
enchantments. There is so much sadness there, and passion and hope. It is the
undiscovered country of your soul within which I would be lost, and gladly so.
Totally nuts, of course, and I don't even know whether I am talking about you
or the tree or about the whole gosh darn country.
I sometimes get the
feeling that South Africa is the only place in all of creation where I could
actually lose you. And still, I would go with you to that world in a heartbeat.
It is where we left our destiny. I look at a Jacaranda and my heart bursts with
feelings that I could not even begin to name, each one as delicious as the
next. Beneath her branches we could make of our lives the quintessence of every
love story ever remembered.
No, but Africa has
become my sacred space because of you. It is my orchid-scented Orient, my far
Cathay, my St. Petersburg in winter by candlelight; my own private Sonata for
piano and strings wherein every love story that I have ever failed to cry over
has become my own. And given my immigration status, if we ever did go to Africa
together, I would have to stay. That is how it is with me. No going back. LOL
We have a house
there, by the way. I go at times for fresh coffee with tangerines, and the
breezes are waving the lace curtains. Good grief! There is probably a venomous
snake in the corner, under the teakwood breakfront. ;)
still writing.....
And when we kiss, the
blossoms fall from heaven, purple and pink and blue.
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