Laugh and cry

“……  its time we began to laugh and cry and cry and laugh about it all again”.-L Cohen

One can muse over ones life-deeply and with desperate intent seeking an answer as to why things happen as they do regarding love. Why do things go wrong? Is it the natural flow of things?  Is it fate? Hand of God? Or is it our own doing, a willing blindness because we want to be loved so very much refuse to see the real picture? No matter how we may find excuses for our behaviour, it still gets us nowhere close to an answer-for at times nothing makes sense; only that everything changes. One need to come to grips with the idea that nothing ever stays the same- for it all just dissolves into a mist of nothingness. It is absolutely no use to questions what was the sense of it all-for there was none.  

Yet still we ask why? Scream why with every fibre in our body. And the answer is silence –deep  horrific silence. Then comes the soul searching-the multitude of the different whys that just claws at the heart-for what made so much sense, suddenly has become the most insane idea ever.  That word “forever” ceases to exist, that one was so sure of. Nothing makes sense, and suddenly all is just a world that is filled with illusions, delusions and broken dreams that mock spirit-and deceive the soul.  How unfair we cry, how we have been deceived-yet we went into it willingly with  eyes wide open that was beholding pure magic, that promised eternal unity and the love of  ages.

“Hello” and “goodbye” are the two side of the same coin, for one gets to see both side eventually-no one escapes it, for it is just a matter of time before the yin turns into yang, and the soul is crushed by disillusionment. Thus-in the end it is sorrow that is reality, that lives in the places where love used to dwell. The reality is that-for everyone everything changes, all shifts, all goes though a cycle. There is no winning-only losing eventually, if one allows the heart free reign-for it knows not the danger it faces, does not see the phantoms and demons in the night.

We try so hard to capture love. We run after it, we chase it, we fight for it just to hold it briefly for that special moment of happiness. But-is the effort, the eventual outcome worth it? Is that fleeting moment of  bliss, that moment of joy worth  the price? What price one may ask-the price of  deep woundedness that one experiences with great loss, the pain of disenchantment, abandonment and heartache. We cling with desperation at what used to be-what we thought always would be, yet it all vanishes in a blink of the eye.  The love that was once so very powerful; a love that was shared,  a sacred  fire that burnt ever so brightly in two hearts, that eventually consumes all-leaves nothing in its wake but ashes.

Moral of the story: Love is the rose, love is the thorn, so just enjoy the moment, be present, appreciate the now  as nothing ever stays the same, for very soon -“It`s time we began  to laugh and cry and cry and laugh  about it all again......”