Photographs

We all live in our minds-the present often is more ephemeral than our dreams. Photographs are strange creatures indeed, they capture the moment as well as the entire event-they are seared into our minds, into our consciousness till we breathe our last breath. They transport us magically through time and space –into times that we would never recall unless we see these wonderful images. Many happy times usually- hardly have any of sad, I try and not document those much. Some of my grandparents, great grand parents and great, great, great grand parents stare at me with very serious expressions- some have faded, but my brother is great at re-constituting them, thus they look like they were taken yesterday-except for the colour. Now it is called sepia-strange as sepia is generally white not brown.

They all still connect us to all those who have come before. It is probably true that we are our ancestors- as we carry the same genes and their cell memory. Looking at the faded images one can actually feel their emotions, their hopes, frustrations, dreams and loves.  My mind wanders far and wide, into their head so to what possibly could they have been thinking when those old photographs were taken, what lurked behind those serious faces and mysterious eyes; they never smiled. I love them all- and all the images of them, especially the very old ones- the daguerreotype between glass. We can trace our family tree back to 1670-on one side-well one gets confused which side after such a long  time. One hell of a  job of documenting it all, one of our relatives did the painstaking task-took him years. Now it is so much easier because of the computer, you can dig up the whole family tree in one afternoon. How technology changes things.

I am what you would call “photograph crazy”- always. Over the years, especially since the digitals, I have take many thousands. My real early ones were taken with a Kodak Instamatic-remember those? When I went on my European trip at 16- I took 20 rolls of 36 with me. I got in trouble at  a few museums in Vienna for taking pictures with the flash. But still have them-and cherish those memories.  Johan Strauss playing his violin there in the Vienna park, Maria Theresa sitting in front of the museum looking all regal and the numerous the beautiful rooms of Sconnbrunn,  and so many more.

I have scores of albums-many scores in fact , but- I also have a hallway that is filled with hundreds of them on the wall, from different times in our lives. People who have far gone from my mind are continually present because I am reminded daily, every single one is alive in my mind- fully alive. Thus I have never lost anyone, they are always with me,- all whom I have loved and lost physically. Friends from school, from university. Beloved friends from Budapest, South Africa, Montreal, Trinidad -many are no longer in the earthly realm and have joined the angels, but they are ever present  living in me. Weddings and baptisms- no funeral.  All my old boyfriends smile sweetly back at me from those photographs- from my very first one to the last one.  Also my different metamorphosis-up and down the scale, I mean literally the scale :-) But still looking presentable I have to add with humility and a smile :-) Where has time gone?

The numbers of photos have increased substantially since the digital age. Just this afternoon I did a whole entire series of every corner and nook of our house-inside and out;well being relatively new, we have just been here a year. I took close to a thousand. Why do I do these crazy things? Well, no day is ever the same, no lighting is ever the same- neither are we ever the same- even after a moment. We are simply wisps of memory. So, I document. I am lucky that most of my family are like this, including even the younger members of our family. The moment, the evening, the event passes in a moment-and what is left are the images in our minds frozen in time on something called a photograph; often accompanied with sounds and fragrances of that moment as well. Music is great to recapture the moments as well-but that for an other day.

Memories are very precious- and those are the only things that are left with us, in us, that we take with us. Our lives become far reaching and far wider with images that burn into our minds. Far richer in content and in context with remembrance. Birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, weddings, baptisms, graduations, holidays and just special moments  make our lives filled with enormous riches, happiness and joy-images to look back and enter that moment with reverence and appreciation.  Yes-each moment of our lives is sacred-never to return, but never lost because of the photographs we take.