I really would like to say something very profound and powerful when it comes to us at this point in time, but I am at a loss and utterly lost. As I said in a prior entry--not one cell of our being is the same, nor present as when we actually read the first words of each other seven years ago. Meaning--every single cell has changed in our bodies, not one is present from that time. Imagine? In a way be have been born anew.
Are we still the same thought? Yes--and we have become far more--have grown in many ways. I am, I also would think and hope that you also feel the same way. What a ride we have had, rather remarkable --up, down, forwards, backwards. Touching on 5-D skipping 4-D. For a moment back there I thought I had lost you forever, those were dark, sad days indeed for me. Though I did realize that once we have loved truly, it cannot be lost. All whom we love become part of us, this thought was of solace for me. I thought if not in this life, but we shall meet once more in the next.
But fate intervened--or rather "serendipity" did, or to be more honest--God did. Deep down I always knew---all would be well. For some weird reason I knew that we shall not be separated now,--here in this life, as we follow our own wandering star. I never stopped praying for us as I still do, however I never prayed for you to come back, only thanked Our Lady for bringing you into my life--I left the future in Her hands. I would accept Her will whatever that may have been or shall be.
Now--what would I like to document regarding our time together or rather --"cybertime" that is, or maybe a better term would be our "digital self". But it sure seems very real to me--how about you? What comes to mind mostly for you? I remember perhaps the thousands of pages of writ--words of every description and every emotion. Yes, and hundreds of cards,-- all beautiful special from the heart-- filled with words of love, of admiration and passion. It is all rather absurd, rather funny in a way, but true nonetheless--isn`t it? My mind is filled with your magic. You see no matter what happened, were I mad, angry or hurt --it always comes back to those words of love, which makes all the bad fade and disappear. And my heart just melts.
What does it all mean in the scheme of things? I think it really demonstrates the very real facts--that we really do love each other under the most strangest of circumstance that life can offer, --that it actually offered us a special gift that very few experience. But why this way? Perhaps in this venue there are less constrictions, less limitations that would bind us--so there is absolutely more freedom and less physical baggage. In a way --just ways of the heart with no physical boundaries, this way it is so much more safe, deeper emotionally and far more expansive. Freedom of the heart--giving us a more "braveheart" in a way to explore our spirit.
You see it all comes back to one thing which I would like you to know--namely-that I could never imagine my life without you--ever. Or a day without you within my thoughts--how could I not, my other self. You are like breathing to me ever present, ever needed and always loved.
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