Sweetheart, darling Cicukam-my beloved Olie: I love You!
By now I would venture that You are out cold probably from all the stress and strain of the days happening. Dreaming.
What can I say? Only that I understand, know and feel all that
You feel. The pain, the fear, the anguish, the suffering, the darkness,
the helplessness--everything, all that is happening to You!
All that You say is very true, no denying it. I couldn`t agree more with You. I wish I could disagree with Your words, feelings and honest sentiments, however, I also have to say that everyone on this planet is in the same boat. I would venture to guess, but much worse. For they live a mindless often loveless life chasing `stuff` in quite desperation. I know it dosn`t make one feel better, but at least one realises that one is not alone. I have been filled with misery since the turn of the new year as well. It`s only yesterday that I had felt a little better, that is why I was able to fall asleep last night.
True, You have one up on me regarding masochism, desperation and
depression. But You are the artistic, sensitive spirit half of this
group, that is why You are so wonderful in writing. If it wasn`t for
that, hardly would Your words be worth anything. This is the price, the
sacrifice You were willing to make when You agreed on the contract.
Rather a high price, I have to add, for the recognition of where we
are, and where life is at for all in this existence, and to be able to
see with clarity.
Now one would ask is that a blessing or a curse? Depends which
viewpoint You look from. But remember my epitaph: `nothing is permanent
but change`. And every moment is thus, no human condition is ever
permanent. Despair not my dearest, for it shall change. Now, I don`t
know to what, that will again depend on how, and from where You observe the
picture from, but through these days will emerge the direction, and You
will know. Yes and like the Phoenix, You will rise.
I have no idea what is happening to Your house situation, but I do
know that the best thing that can and will happen is if You get out of
it! I also know that all this is also what is contributing to the way
You are feeling. The uncertainty, the fear, the not knowing, the
apprehension, the loss and even the question one`s own sanity. But we
all are passing through the same scene! Just slightly at different
times. And of course most do it mindlessly, or asleep, or rather more so
in a coma from which they never awake. Now what is better I ask
You? One always have a choice. We put the value on ourselves--either
worthless or of much value. Do not expect any thanks from the world--all it
will just try to belittle You all the time, all people will!
You may feel all lost, but there is time to find Yourself still.
But not in the life You are in now. Ah yes that term,`be reborn again`,
has it merits. And as with all, at times we outgrow our old lives and
must go to the next. Thus is with You, but there is sadness at leaving
the old behind. Yes--ascension. I do like the term lately, makes a hell
of a sense. I never really took it very seriously, but the past few
weeks I do see that all is pointing in that direction. You have no idea
how many sites I have visited and suddenly it all is falling into place.
Yes...the old is falling away.--hey, maybe our DNA is changing, maybe
we are becoming more crystalline, maybe we are in 4D already
partly, but going further up to 9D , I hear.skipping a few in between
as the word is splitting into different dimensions. I have read some
stuff that I couldn`t even imagine, laughed at and now it`s the only
thing makes sense. The irrational has become the rational, the bizarre
the norm and no I am not crazy. Truth is only the truth if it makes
sense to one, otherwise it is a lie.
Okay--all is illusion, depends
which one we create and accept. In the beginning I thought I am totally
mad, but I am not. It is the world that is mad. It is in stasis, in a
stupor from all the dull, ignorant, stupid materialistic minds. Let
them enjoy this paradise of 3D more power to them. I know that the end
is in sight and things are afoot. I wouldn`t have agreed with all
this a few weeks ago, but now I do. That is why we are feeling the way
we do my love. Maybe there is something to Revelation after all. Never
thought I would say this. I think I even know who the anti-christ
is .NO I don`t think, I know!...lol. Now You think I have totally lost
it, don`t You? I haven`t just seeing a bit more clearly, the veil is
lifting. And absolutely nothing to do with religion either. And yes,
though I am still a Catholic and die one...lol.
As You know from my letters, I have been doing a lot of soul
searching too lately. It ain`t easy when one has to confront all the
crap within and without that suddenly hits like a ton of bricks. Yes,
and it is easier when one knows that there is an other who cares, or at
least knows about it, even if they can`t do anything about it. That is
how I am with You, and You sweetheart with my morning cards. That is
why I often miss You so that it seems to break my heart and feel awful
when I don`t hear a word from you. And often just one word is
enough, I know it is the same for You. These are the reasons of
love--the voice of love that gives strength, courage to one`s soul. You
said it also just in a more dramatic fashion. Yes, that writer in Your
soul that is so expressive.
So many people are feeling the same, in similar fashion. They are
all waking up. Being sorted in a way. They are all saying the same thing
in different ways I am sure You have the same experience with
different sites You visit. Mind You I am on sites I would have thought I
would never visit. But then one asks the question why? The answer is`
one is where one has to be`...lol. There are no coincidences, or sites
where one is not sent for a reason.
Yes--and back to God who does work in mysterious ways in
everything, and does orchestrate our lives to the last detail, but the
outcome always depends on whether we listen or not to that voice that
knows all, is all and loves
us.To me it all comes down to surrender willingly to that will. The
will of God till then all is in turmoil, chaos and a bloody mess. It
is only God that gives us direction, peace, sense of love, of well
being. God who allowed us to meet, to find each other, who has blessed
us so. I often wonder why us.
You say that You will settle for nothing less than perfect.
Creation is a process. Perfection is a process even more so it`s
getting there. If You would be perfect You would be here no more. As Our
Lady said: all is for `Expansion`. One cannot be there in one step.
Thus too is perfection. It also takes some form of time, --maybe even
linear time, dimensional time, space time. Who knows, but time. Thus we
cannot be that, no matter how hard You are on Yourself my Cicu. Also in this new life I have embraced...lol...I have also
concluded that compassion and love is the only key. Yeah, I always knew
believed, but now it looks rather different. Unless we let stuff go, all
the emotional baggage, grudges, hate, anger, rage, blame, resentment,
negativity and all the other emotional garbage that weighs us down. And
yes,one of the biggies: letting go of pain! It tends to perpetuate
itself, having a life of its own. All pain present and more so from
the past that blocks us from everything, mostly from God.
Until we do as the Japanese do, let all the stuff float down the
river in little paper boats and say good riddance to it forever until
we fully embrace all the positives sincerely, Uuntil we do all that
completely with a sincere heart, with love, till then there is no
escape from this 3D. No hope whatsoever, not a step closer to God. That`s
all the stuff that anchors us here don`t You see? That is the saving
grace. It`s crystal clear to me. God, I sound like one of those
`lightworkes` You love so much...lol. But it is true. That is the only
redemption, for there has to be integration of light and
darkness. We can`t fight either, must become one. All is
balance.This is the only salvation for our spirit, our soul purpose of
progression to higher realms can only come through this. If not, we are
stuck in the muck indefinitely. Yes until we learn that proverbial
lesson of letting go-- and practising all the aspects of love, of
compassion, of mercy, of forgiveness towards others, who are in fact
part of us thus we do it all unto ourselves. Till we are able to face
that, do that, we shall be far from perfect. This is the price of
wisdom, understanding, perfection and expansion.
Probably sounds like a whole lot of crazy rambling to You
sweetheart, but perhaps there maybe a grain of truth in my words
somewhere. Again, depends from where one observes from--we all have a
different perspectives.
I have to stop here as I am awfully tired, I can`t keep my eyes
open...it is 6.22 am. Thank You for Your beautiful card my love...A
bit sad, it expresses Your feelings I know. I pray, for You all the time
that You find peace and joy and love You have from me! You are loved
beyond measure...We are so very blessed, don`t be sad. There is still
some time . Your life will change, transition is not easy. Make peace
with Your soul. Don`t be at war! You are in my thoughts every minute of
the day believe it or not! I often wonder how it is possible to be
so but it is. Put You life in the hands of God and it shall be
alright!
I Love You my angel...my very heart....my other self!
Love forever... kisses and hugs!
Deo/Dea gratias!
Quetzal
No comments:
Post a Comment