Why?--well this is all fact for me. I am sure Our Lady had Her plans, so I am making sure that we follow instructions as I look at us from a distance, just in case we have missed something! There is so much of a pull away from all these earthly things around me, I hardly see them at all. I have become the observer.
The way I see there is an underlying current of some time speed warp, either I am going faster, - which is the way I see it, it is not that life has speeded up. Why? Probably you are on mark--the 2012 thing. Those Indigos have it down pat. But, then I maybe posting a post on their site on the 22 December/ 2012 and will be flabbergasted that nothing will have happened. Well, nothing will. Ascension is a process, not an event.
Yesterday was a strange day indeed!--indeed. Well the whole week was--in fact life seems more like an dream than reality. I perchance stumbled back onto Jesus` words int the`Course`,--Oh how His words resonate in my heart: that all this is just illusion. Nothing seem to be more important than my concentration on spirit, my work, all my old life has left me behind. I have weird strange symptoms, my head dizzy...I thought it was from some pills I was taking. Yes, I succumbed to that also, however not as much as before, however it just makes me stupid, so I cut them out mostly. My memory is totally gone--no it is not dementia, goes deeper than that. It is because I am not present at all in this dimension most of the time. Now I just need this internal chaos to quiet down, so I can make myself think. It is that nothing is real to me. Does that make sense at all?
Oh,...Is this the place we`re headed-?-cool!
As I was cleaning, putting my house in order, I mean my internal house, and re examining all that has transpired so much has crystallised for me. It was always there. I think there is something more about `Ascension`. The symptoms are just the minors, every day I am waiting for the other shoe to drop, namely the majors. There is a restlessness internally, and externally. Then at times like a silent pause, a pregnant silence. You are right my Draco. But, when were you ever wrong. We, us-seems to occupy me more and more each day--feels like I have returned from that twenty years of expedition that you so aptly described and frequently take.
I am so very, very restless, more so every day.--I can`t describe it. Excitement in a sense, apprehension, no fear at all--God, you are so good with descriptions, I just have them in my heart these days--You, my sweet, you can bring them to life. But then, that is why we are one half each, but different. LOL. Two of the same just will ain`t do!
Neither am I happy, nor sad. Well just waiting. This is so much wanting to come to life from my soul, and I am led back to so many things I seem to have forgotten now remembering. Even this word `remembering` brings back a memory--I read once it means coming together, becoming whole. Is this `wakening`? There is a sense of deep urgency within me. I ask myself for what --tell me? Oh, but you always have a very logical answer. Befriending those pantheon of Gods are doing a great service.
I sleep so little--Oh to sleep, perchance to dream. I actually did dream last night. I had a real busy night as you would say; half sleep, half awake, all just spinning, spinning in my head. Will it ever stop, or speed up beyond the speed of light--and then we shall leave??
Well that is it for my entry today-- even this can`t keep up with time, nor Our Lady`s rosary--I probably owe Her well over a dozen in back payment.
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