At times things happen
and one just seems to dissolve into a puddle of mush. Thus the memories just
flood back- as I heard “Unchained Melody “ on the radio today. Everything came
flooding back. Exactly five years ago this past Easter, I had a very brief encounter
with a radiant soul. Was he an angel? Maybe to me. We had a mere two dates-but
it was meeting of very old souls, with a very long cosmic history. Unbelievable
but -in some mystic way our souls seemed to fuse for a brief moment in temporal
time.
Our meeting was
serendipity in every way-neither of us were looking for a relationship. By
chance my daughter signed me up on a dating website, on a whim. He answered the
first day. He e-mailed me, then called me on the phone, and not much had to be
said. It was a feeling of recognition, for some unearthly coincidence we knew
all about each other. We talked on the phone for about a two weeks-about
everything. We divulged every single aspect of our lives-which was like my
other self talking, -for it felt that we were both open books, or rather books
that we had written. How odd-that feeling was to me, to him also. All the intimate
details of the heart.
Strangely enough, without
fear or intrepidation I invited a strange man to dinner to my apartment one
week before Good Friday. Funny, but I even knew what he would like for
dinner-we did not talk of such mundane things as that. That evening he arrived
with a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates, a radiant smile and a very tight
hug. He looked so very handsome in life-he was not disappointed either. We had
dinner, the chocolates and the wine kept coming.
We talked all night about
our hope and dreams for the future-everything between us was so very familiar.
We loved the same things, hoped for the same, wished the same from life-our
background was similar and we just seemed to come together as if completing a
circle. A perfect fit. It was a very strange sensation. After a very
passionate, romantic, fire filled first night. He left in the early hours of
the morning-ending it with a most familiar beautiful heartfelt kiss. We agreed
to meet on Good Friday-which was a week later.
He arrived exactly on
time-with some beautiful white Easter lilies in a pot with a purple bow. His
face was beaming with happiness, as was mine. We had talked everyday since our
first meeting. He was counting literally the hours-during the day he would send
me a message updating me on how many hours were remaining.
Then Good Friday arrived.
The evening started with a great dinner I had made. Then came the music, and we
danced and danced without words, just feeling each others`s soul. Then the
haunting sound of Unchained Melody filled the room. We just melded into each
other-and he said what I was actually thinking- “This will be our song forever.
Remember whenever you hear it think of me”. That night, it was raining-I
remember, as we lay in each others arms-his kisses raining upon me like the
gentle rain outside. Then like a bolt out of the blue, I knew in my heart that
it is here where it has to end.
Why-I really do not know.
It was just this internal voice telling me that we have to say goodbye for this
was not the time to take it any further. Maybe it was fear, maybe that we both
had many commitments, or maybe we had other missions in life to fulfill. True-at
the time I just could not have taken it further than dating-and I felt in my
heart that this would be unfair to him and myself. This connection needed more
than just a relationship, it needed everything we both had-and it would have
had to be in it totally-body and soul. It had to be a union of spirit and
letting go of all physical ties. I was not prepared to do that-it was not
possible at the time. I could not let everything go, for I had serious
commitment to my mother, as he had to his mother. So, we discussed this in
detail-he too very sadly had to agree.
There and then-after that
night, we ended the evening, and our brief meeting of souls. We said our
goodbye soaked with many tears and such tenderness – but, we decided that it
will be not goodbye, but “auf wiedersehein” really, knowing we will for sure
meet again somewhere in time. In both our lives this was the very first time
that we both had such a short encounter. It was two of the most wonderful
soulful, spiritual nights I ever have had in my life. It was truly two nights
of heaven to remember forever.
I asked him please not to
contact me, he promised he would not-with tears in his eyes. We both truly
understood as why we had to take this route. I still see him as I was looking
out my bedroom window as he was walking away in the rain. It was pouring rain
in my heart -the tears flowing like a river. Thus is this life-but then again
we have many more lifetimes to meet up once more. Was he my twin flame-perhaps,
but I really do not think so-most definitely my closest twin soul. Do I love
him-very much; but agape, not eros. I think for him to be my twin flame it has
to be both one hundred percent.
By chance I came upon an
interesting topic “dying”. A research being done by a famous British
neuropsychiatrist, Dr. Peter Fenwick, who studies the brain and mind,
especially the actual dying process. He answers the most fundamental
question of our time-what is consciousness. There are two theories about this-
that consciousness is outside and the brain filters it, however the main thrust
of modern science say -it is all brain function. He say that the later is too
limited. His studies show that consciousness is separate from the brain, and is
not product of the brain-as most theories presume. Consciousness is not a
function of the brain. This is interesting, as most of the eastern religions
state this-including The Tibetan Book of the Dead and even The Egyptian Book of
the Dead. How interesting-did the ancients know more about dying than what our
modern science knows today? Seems so.
What actually happens
preceding death-the actual physical and psychological process is extremely interesting. Often when this
topic comes up one cringes a bit and one sort of wants to move along, yet we
all have to face it one day. No escape from it, no mercy for all living
creatures, including all fauna and flora. His research is very interesting,
based on thousands of people with NDE (near death experience) over decades.
Fear of the unknown has
much to do with it. Different cultures face death differently-there are certain
fundamentals which are culture specific. This is due to world view, religion
and cultural roots which impacts it greatly. The different belief systems do
influence the experience, but upon examination they all converge and come to
the same conclusion. An important fact is that NDEs have a powerful affect on
the people that have them and change them profoundly. This does not mean that all to the death experience, there is more to it. Also that the dying process is simply not abnormal misfiring of neurons and that
the experiences are illusions of a dying brain. Fenwick believes that
consciousness is beyond the brain.
His studies show a number
of interesting phenomena. One-before even getting a diagnosis, some time before
you may get a premonition or a dream that you will die. Second is that a few
weeks ahead of death you get "deathbed visitors"- relatives that come to you.
They may stay outside your door, or come in or sit on your bed and they will
talk to you. Sometimes spiritual beings come, they behave differently-they may
stay outside and be seen through the window, or may come through the door. This
process is very comforting. The third phenomena is that you go back and forth
into a different reality, like getting conditioned to it. But now new studies
out of Switzerland show that at a point you realize that you are going to
die-and there is no recovery. This hits you hard as you have never been in this
position of no control whatsoever-you realize you have to give up everything
you have ever known.
The previous phenomena,
going back and forth, happens 90% of the time so research shows. If you don`t give up all, you remain
attached-this is the most difficult death, if you do give up all, then you will have a very
smooth transition. In post transition you have given all up and you go more and
more into the spiritual domain. You have lost all, including ego-you have lost
that part of yourself that had differentiated you and you become non-dual. You have
lost all your earthly trappings-then you merge with the universe, the greater
cosmos and become universal.
Remaining attached
creates two great problems in dying- both pulling you in different ways. One of
fusion the other pulling back into the limited. This is called spiritual
restlessness. There is one more phenomena before actual dying-this is "terminal
lucidity". Suddenly you sit up in bed, even ones that have been paralyzed for
years will do this-and say goodbye to all. The real question for science is
that this even happens to Alzheimer patient who were in a vegetative state
suddenly remember and recognize loved ones-say goodbye and lay back and die.
However at this point this is not over for some
yet. There is what is called "death bed vision". If you have a loved one you
could not say goodbye to, you will visit them. This takes place within half hour of
death, or at the time of death. If the person is up-they will have a feeling
that something is happening, or that you need help or a catastrophe is
happening. If you are asleep, you may get a "narrative dream" and get a positive
message: "I am fine, I am alright do not worry".
An other fascinating
phenomena are lights in the room-it looks like real light-it can stream out of
the dying`s room or just flood the relatives room. At times it is like a golden river of describe as a "golden river of love". This has a very strong
spiritual quality to it. This is a very complex phenomena-not all in room can
see the light, it depends on the level of attachment to a loved one. The light
fades when the person actually dies.
Also at times of death
shapes seem to leave the body. Like smoke, there maybe a change in atmosphere, or some actual form
leaving. This is also described in The Tibetan Book of the Dead. Then there are
clocks that stop at the time of death-even modern clocks stop-flashing the time. Animals will howl, birds often appear on window sills of the dying.
To have an easy death-you
have to give up your body to join Universal Consciousness joyfully, lovingly,
happily and willingly. You have to be unattached then you become non dual and
merge. The evidence is very strong and becoming stronger as the more research
is being done.
