4.Isten hozot darling love-
It always amazes me
anew when we synchronize our thoughts and minds and hearts so artlessly, across
that non-existent space between us. We are so on the same wavelength, cica.
That fractal the other morning-- it answered a question I had not yet even
formulated as it was emerging into consciousness. And your reference to being
of the seed of Nimrod was the apex, and the sublime apotheosis, of the whole.
That one statement is pregnant with meaning for me. I could write a book on it.
But I am beginning to see that if I ponder it within my heart, you too will
know its meaning, after your own fashion. Still, you know a good deal more
than you give yourself credit for, and sometimes you let drop verities that are
nothing short of astounding, not to mention deliciously heretical.
But all that is
neither here nor there, because it is your love and your hope and your devotion
that haul my sorry dragon ass back into the light of our sacred mysteries and
communion whenever my restive soul begins to stray. Indeed, I can only imagine
that having landed yourself so fearsome a beast you might sometimes wish you
had thrown it back into the astral sea from whence it emerged all roaring wet.
Well, we are both slightly mad, and maybe this helps you put up with my ever
changing moods, because, god knows, without you I certainly could not have put
up with myself for so long.
Anyhow, I am
returned unto myself. Like Attis, but I just don't stay dead. And but I owe you
more gratitude and flowers than our Lady ever grew, and so with this little
token of what my heart would speak I lay my scaly smoking head upon your breast
and....rest?
xxxooooxxxx
Olie
Behold the country of my heart. And to hence and hither I have returned.
I always do return eventually. But really, you shouldn't follow me in like a shadow of flame, o daughter of fire, for tis not meet that a cica get so whetted.
No, I don't do typos. I don't...but I do start to think we are slightly mad when I descend on forays of the icy deeps, only to find you there before me! This is taking the concrescence of our confluence a bit far into the uncanny. ;)
But you are feeling better, sweetheart? I am, all around, including my back, my knee and other such like impedimenta of my spirited motility. All that, and after three years I finally get a hug from my niece. Even the cat couldn't resist my charms for longer than two years. I must have really deserved it.
Yes, there is a story behind this too, but right now I am still trying to picture you celebrating Shivaratri after having partaken of his own sacred flower. In that regard you are still very much a virgin, and as many times as I've wanted to write you a letter after having partaken of the sacrament, as many times have I held back, not wanting to shock you by what I sound like under the stars. LOL
Maybe tonight, if you are up to it. I will let Zshiva have a word of love with you!
In any case, I will continue to shadow your aunt with my leathery wings and blow some sacred smoke your way. And one day we will meet on the sky deck of the Sears tower and have a drink or two--or three (which is my virginal limit).
Meanwhile I hold you close in any way that I can, to feed you the strength of dragons.
Kisss-kisss my cica. Walk in our Lady's peace.
Indigo
6. Without-
Without this music, cica, I would not remember which volume in the book of life I was reading or which direction was up. I hate to kvetch, but my quality of life leaves something to be desired these days, and that you send me beautiful things; music and pictures and prayers, means everything, because yes, it does quietly and gently re-affirm that you are with me and that you give what is needed from out of your compassion and understanding--qualities in short supply around here, lately.
I am reading the Mahabharata, and the slaughter on Kurukshetra is unfolding all around me. My equanimity has gone to the devil. I have a few things on my own plate. And this is where everything becomes entirely confusing, because on one hand I am being flooded with light by the likes of Krishna, even as I am at my personal most hopeless. I have not written a word in months. Not on my blogs and not in my journal.
At this point in my life, I feel the need to rededicate myself to the laws of my being--my Dharma--but my spiritual ego is hardly a crude, unshapely mass of discordant desires. No, I shine like an ember from the heart of creation and have lost my way. All I see is the gravity of my life; its truth and its longing and the urgency of commitment and no way in or out or any which way.
Not a day goes by when I am not being gifted with awareness of presence--not in my heart but in the battle-field of the lives of others, and though I can read the signs I cannot understand the language anymore--because I am navigating the confluence of worlds, even as I am learning how to listen with my inteligence instead of my convictions.
I love you Susie.
The rest is just life, probably. But I love you. That is more than life. That bare-assed fact is glory incarnate.
{{{{{{{{{**}}}}}}
Olie
7. Kiss, kiss Cica-
Well darling,
if that is my effect on you then I am even better than I dared imagine! Yes, yes, yes...the world in your lap as solitude. O what a beast I am. And here I thought that I had a strict policy of non-interference. Evidently though I am not averse to using a bit of magick on people while playing solitaire in the cool of a summers evening.
But all that is for another time. I just got out of yoga class and I am in a playful, frivolous frame of mind--though, granted, what is sheer frivolity in a man such as myself is frightful to contemplate. LOL
There is a good bit still I want to share with you--and just the way you like it, but I barely got through my Surya-namaskara without bursting into spontaneous break-dancing, so the more gravity laden graces are in abeyance at the moment. By the time I calm down they might be back and I will write you then with ponderous zeal. Just now though--frolicking.
{{{{{{{{**}}}}}}'s
Olie
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