Out of the shadows

Time and time again we as humans cannot escape the lure of darkness, of the the shadows that circumscribe our lives- no matter whom we are, escape from it is futile. One simply has to plough through it; often this is in the form of deep sadness, depression, fear and tremendous anxiety. Generally we emerge from its clutches, but I think the end result is that it wins the battle for none of us gets out of this life alive. The battle is hard and at times the balance between light and dark is a blood sport almost as most often light loses, and it is hard to regain it once more.

This time I have emerged once more from the darkness victorious, as I was totally enveloped within its clutches -the past few 3 months have been one of the darkest places that I have ever encountered and visited, I just wanted so very much to leave and escape to a safe place, as I felt my life was useless, meaningless, worthless and completely futile. I cannot tell you why, or the reason or the lesson I have to learn from it; that is still unclear, but I perhaps my mission is not over yet. I am still not where I have to be, but at least I am in the shadow not the darkness any more.

I know you are in the same place at this moment, I feel your pain, your sorrow flowing from your heart- for you have been very quite many weeks now, so I know that darkness reigns also in your life; lost, struggling for air to survive. As we know, we lead parallel lives, we are so connected that it is impossible even to imagine. It reminds me-(us) of those photons that the physicists have discovered that work in tandem- through quantum entanglement, behave similarly and do the same thing, even when they are in a different galaxy-there seems to be this invisible connection that which we yet do not fully understand which is between us; where no distance exists. I suppose we are in simple terms-one spark of light or photon that has been split searching for very self.  We have been so very blessed that we have found each other.  Yes we have.Thus, we are the very embodiment of those very photons of which physics speaks of.

Death for us-you and I, is often a daily preoccupation, perhaps because we consider life as an illusion, as a dream; thus often the thoughts of the real world has strong lures and a deep want to return home once more- to be together, to be one, to be united,  to be in a place whence we came from, - back to our origin within God.

But for the time being- today is a good day, and maybe tomorrow is even better; finally I am able to pray again, which is a great gift and grace, which lately I seemed to have lost; my soul was heavy, empty and ached with some great loss that I was unable to explain- but now I understand. Now I realize it was my disconnect from God -and this condensed the sadness, the depression, the pain and the feeling of the  loss.

Praying for you sweetheart- always; and you`re always on my mind. I miss you so very much, yet you are always with me.