Answers #86

  There is a saying  that I learnt  a long time ago: never ask a question unless you really want to hear the answer—and I took the plunge with much trepidation and I have heard the honest answer. Took tantamount of courage, but if you play with fire you have to face the consequences of being burnt. Well, in all sincerity  the response from God, is not the enlightenment I had wished to hear—but  I always leave all in Her hands daily, so I say-now I have to live with it Our Lady. Don`t get me wrong, I do love God dearly but my ego is a nasty unbridled beast at times.

Being human, most often distorts our perception to our ways of thinking. Most times wanting to hear what we really want to hear—presumably for love`s noble sake, but always really for selfish reasons, this is the misconception. This is the cold, hard truth. But then when we are almost drowned by our own blindness we get whacked back into realty by God. Then, if we are truly, genuinely interested in the answer God gives it to us every time. Well—He always does, but we consciously misinterpret it to suit our own purpose. We think it is always about us, a sort of narcissistic self importance, a form of misdirected pride or I confess; a slight paranoia of grandeur. Yes—truth be told; we are selfish little creatures—we just want to be loved, cherished and want to feel special at any price—which at times comes with an exorbitant cost, leading directly to our own demise. But hell—what else is there but love on the standard of a romantic even if in the end it leaves one entirely spiritually bankrupt because one has sacrificed all. Yes, yes I know it is better to have loved even with all the losses.

But when one really thinks about it; who cares a toss for my life except myself....well maybe my mother. Thus is it with me—appearances can and are deceiving when it comes to reading signs and interpreting messages. One can and often is completely misled. Like reading tea leaves—we see what we want to see. No matter; all is within the spirit of evolving.  Lessons that need be learnt no matter how painful.

Now that I am able to think clearly without interference at long last, with crystal clear vision of what is actually happening in my world-I have become a totally freed spirit.  For a while there I was still tethered by thin gossamer spider web threads. But no more. And while I`m on the subject of ( hoping this is not just wishful thinking,) my new found freedom, my determination to dispel all psychological illusions that was making me generally suspicious at times regarding the world,  is still healthy, well and alive; thank you. In plain English;"my antenna is still up and working" actually rather fine tuned by experience, but now the only difference is: I am  head ruled as opposed to heart ruled.

Not that I`m that keen on that self absorbed pastor of the "Church of the Rock", but hey I loved his point on Sunday-

"Defeat is looking back

Distraction is looking around 

Discouragement is looking down

Destiny is looking forward"

OK Lord—lesson well learnt  this time. Didn`t even take that long—only a little forethought, self reflection, some intellectual observation and let`s not forget the power of the internet. Finally; a full stop. By the way I shall—NEVER ASSUME anything in the future; well one can never say never, but I shall try real hard otherwise each time I will definitely make an ass of you (not You Lord-I know You know that, but I`m just making sure in case You were busy with more important things than listening to me!) and me which I almost did yesterday