Dragon Knight

My sweet noble Knight…my dearest;

As You see spontaneity  lurks  ever in my heart. Aren`t I predictable? No second guessing me. I am answering your letter immediately, from the heart. But, as You are learning of me I am propelled by passion and there is no stopping me. Darling , I swear You are burning brightly enough, and You are just wonderful to me. You do not need to do anything, but just be Yourself! Always. That is all is needed in love, that is all that love demands.  Love is not in wanting, but it is giving of oneself completely. I give You my heart without any reservation, without any hesitation, without any limitation or conditions. There is no required agreement that has to be fulfilled except to love authentically, sincerely. No risk of losing my love, I am here to stay if You want me to and it won`t end in conflagration, unless we decide to throw ourselves onto the pyre at the end and go out in a blaze of glory. And You are not going mad, well I stand corrected, we are both mad, intoxicated by love itself. However one can never have enough of Sufi poetry to worry me! I hope all is well with You. What neuralgia , metabolic distress are You talking about? Are You alright? Now You worry me.

The question in You letter is really whether You are making me really happy. Yes, absolutely. And whether I have any  need of You to be doing more. No. For love grows with time, but perhaps I am just an eternal romantic, because I also feel that it has no bounds. Some say that well it fades with time, I don`t think that way. We can truly be the exception. Though there have been a few in history as such, so I doubt that we will be entirely unique. True love, passion has to be fueled, energized constantly but that comes from the heart naturally. Almost the fuel is the very by product of  love itself, fueling its very self. Love perpetuates love.

You are loved beyond measure for I have never loved like this before. Why, how dosn`t matter, I don`t dwell on that , just is, that is enough for me. I am sure some would consider it madness, but that dosn`t bother me in the least. It is my heart, my soul, my spirit that loves You and I don`t care a toss who thinks what, except what You and I think and feel. 

 But this relationship is like no other for there are different facets that if we were together physically would be very clear.  All our feelings, communications is through the written word, and thus every single word has to be written no second guessing, for that could be rather dangerous.  For if something is left undone, unsaid, or rather unwritten in our case, there are a thousand ways that one can interpreted that in the mind. If we were together physically, there would be no need for that; a look a gesture, a touch, body language  is enough to know and understand. It`s like the thing about `Napoleon the pig`…LOL. And there have been a couple of others as well but that is because every word has to be clear, or it can be misunderstood and misconstrued .

So just a few things that perhaps I will clarify, and how I feel about it. Sometimes You write things, then stop and You never ever continue, never get back to it,  left hanging in mid air. Or I ask something and never get a response. I am sure I do the same, but then ask me again. I try and answer all parts of Your letters always, though I know I  miss much also that I should respond to.  I know one tends to think that the other person knows exactly what one has in their mind, but all I understand is what You write, as You only know what I write. Sometimes I don`t even know whether You have received my letter or not that is why the e-cards are so good, one knows if they have been received or not. 

 I swear You can be honest with me, I shall not fall to pieces what ever it is that bothers You whether it`s about me or anything else.  We all have bad days, miserable times, sad times, and times we want to be left alone and just wallow in misery. Or say things that perhaps is interpreted in a way that was not intended, said the wrong way or rubs You the wrong way. Sometimes one says things and just comes out wrong. Language is funny that way.  But just tell me.  But I need to know, as You need to know if I feel like that way.  It`s like it used to really upset me when I didn`t hear from You for days, I always thought it`s me…well maybe it is…LOL, but now I know it is not always me and I understand those `black dog days` that You go through. Churchill called it that, he would lock himself into his room often with a few bottles of whisky for days until it passed.

There I have my doubts.  Romantic love is only too archetypal to be anything but elemental in its purity, and like all archetypes, it is uncontrolable, volatile and unpredictable.  It also casts a long shadow.  Ambiguity is of its very nature and essence, as is raw power. There is nothing wrong with that, of course, provided one remains aware and alert to how it deigns to unfold throughout the patterns of its medium.  We are not romantics without complex reasons for so being, nor do we awaken the angel of romantic love without just cause.  It is meet for us to be cognizant of such reasons though.  Where they are clearly in evidence in just those aspects of our daily lives to which we remain oblivious due to their familiarity and ordinariness.  It is there that we are most likely to stumble and fall.  As it was once said; it is easy to be faithful in the execution of great things, but the devil is in the details.

 Yes, I think You said the above. I do think that romantic love is controllable, is volatile, and predictable, if nurtured, watered, and tended with care, honesty and passion.  As the Lord said…`fear not` . I know He was right, I fear not for I know the strength, height, width, depth of my love for You.  Love is  capable of all things imagined, and endures for it`s own sake. It is no sacrifice, but a gift freely given wanting nothing in returand I give You my heart. I know, I feel  that You love me very much and I cherish that, and I love You more each day. In life, sometimes we love and are not loved in return, that is very painful.  We are just truly blessed . I don`t know what we did to deserve this, but we are special. Love chooses us, we do not choose love.

I know that honeymoon does not have to be ever over. Oh there goes my romantic heart again!  Oh yes, I do want something badly from You those pictures You promised way back in December. I am sure if You don`t have any, You can steal some out from Your mom`s albums. And please finish `Proteas`…well half of it, at lest the chapters You have. I know, I know this has nothing to do about our love, but at least tell me that it is awful, then at least I know. Now, I need You to be absolutely honest about everything. In love, and in all else, as I with You.

But again it is almost 5am…where does the time fly.

Not that I am very original but I thought I would tell You for it is originally from my heart!

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

You are with me constantly… You are so loved!

Forever,

 Red Dragon