Recollections

 

This is an excerpt from a short story Recollections by L.Olas.

I loved it when I read it and thought I would share. There was something familiar about it.

Today, as then! And as will be tomorrow and forever till eternity!

The one horse sleigh was getting closer to you, breaking the silence of the evening air with the wonderful sounds of its bells, as it glided through the the forest.  It was snowing, huge crystal flakes gently drifting down from heaven, a full moon suspended in the sky like a huge glowing silver disc amongst the glittering of myriads of sparkles of light. It was a magical evening in every sense and it would be the most wonderful night of our lives I knew it too well, especially  when we have the gift of being able to create our own reality.  And so it was and so we did. This is my recollection of that night. I swear this is a word for word record of what went on in my heart that night.

It was almost midnight. Through the trees first there appeared just a sliver of light and within a short while there it was, all so real in the moonlight. The lodge. I remembered it so well. It was where we spent so many happy times. Now we were here once more, what joy. We stopped in front of the door, and there you were, standing in the doorway. How very handsome you looked.  Smiling those wonderful brown eyes sparkling.  You looked exactly the way I had remembered. Never changing through the years from our very first meeting. That was way back in the mist of time. Yes, that was  the face that was imprinted on my soul.  I knew that my face was also the one whom he remembered from long ago. A cell memory, not a a physical one. Something eerily familiar, an eternal glow that sparks the recognition within each other.

I ran into your open, welcoming  familiar arms. There was a feeling that we just left each other a day or so ago. We kissed with fiery passion, entwined in sweet embrace, the tears streaming down our face. Holding and clinging to each other like branches of a vine.

You gently whispered in my ear, `One day, one day my love I will not let you go ever, I do swear to you`.

`When will that be? For my heart aches for that moment`. I felt the very beat of your heart next to  mine.

`Be patient my love for it is the separation that drives us ever closer. Never forget. Just remember this moment. Time passes very quickly and one lifetime is but a moment of eternity. Each lifetime brings us closer to each other as we spiral upward towards the light. One day we shall be so close, in spirit, in soul that we shall become on with the light itself. Then we shall be together forever dwell within its embrace`. You kissed me, wiping the tears from my face whispering once  more, `And never ever from then hence shall we be separated`.

The moment was interrupted  by a  voice. `Where should I put these bags and basket, madam?`It was the driver.

`Please bring then into the lodge, and just leave them anywhere  `, you told the driver.

So he did. `When shall I come back?`

`Tomorrow night please. At this time`. I told him  And he left, the jingle of the sleigh bells faded into the night air.

You took my hand and led me in. `Well what do you think my love? Does it please You?`Then you removed my coat, hat and gloves. Hung it by the door on that rack that you made of two stag antlers …`thank god, you didn`t shoot them, but bought them. I don`t think hunting has ever been part of you, thank the Lord`, I thought to myself.

`O god, it`s just as I had remembered, exactly. Every detail. Oh, even the fragrance of all the candles there on the mantle. The brown bear rug in front of the fire, the stag horns on the wall, the old guns hung on the wall.  Even the windows are iced up, like times before, with the traces of  beautiful `ice flowers`. My eyes took in every detail of the room. `Oh, look even your pipe is next to the armchair that you so love. The piano, the violets…you remembered my dearest darling heart! Oh my darling, how can this be? I am filled with joy, blessed by the ecstasy of angels being here with you`

`How could I not remember all as well? Aren`t we one? One heart, one soul, one thought? I am you and you are me`.No?`You smiled at the thought.

`Sometimes I find it hard to comprehend that this is our real life, the other is but the dream`.

 `Yes, this is our real life…always was is and always will be. It is also what we imagine it to be, what we want it to be. We create it as we wish, that is the gift we have in our heart.  Anything and everything is possible and so much more`. You kissed me gently and continued,`we may  incorporate anything, anytime. Just imagine it`. You thought for a brief moment and continued,`we live parallel lives at the same time you know`,

`Yes `, I whispered, `I know`.

`All we need to do is call each other. Just connect our minds and  our soul will find the way. Only soul is real, all else is illusion`. Then you kissed me once more gently, tenderly. How familiar, how comforting your kiss, your embrace was.

`Sit down darling.  I have a surprise for you`. I sat down on the black leather sofa, kicked my shoes off  as he put on a record on the old phonograph.

`Listen...this is just for you. Schubert`s Serenade. I remember it being your favourite since that meeting with him in Vienna, at the palace of Count  Holzer. Remember where we met Beethoven`. You frowned for a moment,`now how many life time ago was that?..Mmm I can`t remember exactly.` You smiled as the gentle notes from the old  phonograph filled the air.

`God only knows`. I lay back and closed my eyes in deep thought, `yes I remember. Franz entered through those huge white gilt doors with the scores under his arm`. I smiled as I recalled, `he immediately sat down by his white gilded grand piano and started playing this piece. That`s the moment my heart was captured. I knew then that was a piece was us. It is ever  a reminder of that night`.

 `Yes, and Ludwig hearing him the first time said to you dearest, ``Truly a spark of divine genius resides in this Schubert``. Stopped in thought for a moment and continued.`…Mmm yes the year as I recall was 1822`.

`Thank you for bringing it tonight`.  

You looked at me and smiled. `By the way you look simply amazing in my favourite black dress. You`re a vision of loveliness. My very own dream. My special  angel that fell from the sky just for me`, leaned over and kissed my cheek. `I guess you grow more beautiful to me each life time, each time I seem to love you more, hardly possible though. Is it?` We fell once more into each others arms, `And  I could hardly imagine you in any other colour`. We laughed.

I whispered, `Well, and I have to say you too are gorgeous and more handsome than ever. But it is your soul that I adore you`.

 `I  love you more each life time. Is that possible?`, you stopped for a moment and continued,` I don`t know`. You pulled me onto the rug in front of the fire. We just  talked, and talked  a while about our present lives.About what  has been done, all still to be done.

It was getting late and we were both getting  hungry. `Come my sweetheart let`s have some wine and something to eat. I  am starving, I am  sure you are also`. I opened up the wicker basket.

`Wow`, you exclaimed,`I thought we were only having wine and cheese. That is great,  no wonder you are woman after my own heart…`. Out of my basket came three bottles of wine, and even a champagne. Few different kinds of cheese, smoked ham,  French salad, bread,  apple, cheese strudel, chocolate covered strawberries and chocolate bon- bons with rum in the middle. We had a great feast amidst laughing and crying as we recalled the past. 

We talked, and talked ..and laughed and cried, and cried and laughed as we reminisced. Just lay  in front of the roaring fire on the bear rug, holding each other tightly. Listening to each heart beat as our hearts beat in unison. The room was lit up like the sun from the merging of our energy. From the fire of our very soul`s passion.

You walked to the piano,`I shall play for you something special`, you sat down as the gentle notes lingered in the air .` Remember this Kristina? I know you love it`, You played Canon. `This is just for you`.

`Thank you Johan, I am so blessed by having you in my life`. I threw my arms around you and we kissed passionately . It was getting late.`Come let`s see if the old place has changed`. As you took my hand and led me upstairs to the bedroom.

I was amazed. `Look sweetheart… it is still  the same. The lace curtains, the massive oak cupboard, the sleigh bed with that huge feather eiderdown and enormous pillows, the night table with the oil lamp, the picture of the Our Lady on the wall, and the crucifix over the door`.

`Yes my love, all the  very same`.

We changed. You  suddenly gasped as your gaze rested on me. With closed eyes you said, `Oh my, I surly do remember that  familiar perfume and this silk black kimono I bought you after we saw `Puccini`s  Madame Butterfly` together for the first time. Where was it? Oh I have such a short memory for things like this`. We laughed.

`Don`t you joke with me. You are just testing me, you know just as well as I…it was in 1918 at the `Wien Oper`.

`Oh, but of course. You cried all night, I couldn`t console you so I just had to buy you this black kimono as a reminder of that evening.` You stopped for a moment the continued,` but there is more sweetheart, ooooh much more `. You took my hand  and lead me to the window. It was all iced up. `Now lean over`, bending over your face almost touching the window said,` now blow on the count of three, okay? Just trust me we are making magic here. And you have to believe real hard…do you understand. Magic is like that!`

`Trust you? Always and forever and believe with all my heart`. I said.

`One, two, three blow gently and very long`.

As we did, the ice slowly started to melt from our warm breaths, and almost immediately after that  the window was all fogged up. `See and behold the magic?`

I was astounded at what I saw. `Oh my god…it is a huge heart and in it is written`` 1920…Johan loves Kristina loving you for …`` and is that an eight sideways with a dot?` I squinted to see better.`Yes it is...now I remember at the time I didn`t know what it meant, and you said one day you will know. Well, I do know now.` I smiled and said, ` it’s the sign for infinity`.

`Wow, well done my beloved Kristina`, kissing me passionately, wildly as we fell onto the bed. `I did tell you that one day you will learn the secret, and so you have`. We kissed and kissed every part of our bodies that was uncovered. Felt, touched each other, savouring every moment the very experience. Suddenly you pulled away from me.

`What is it ---- Johan?` I felt a sudden shudder over me.

`I think that we have to do something very serious here. For this will not do. It absolutely will not do`. You sat up and  looked questioningly at me.

`What are you talking about? What won`t do?` I was kind of worried at your tone.

`These different lives. The different names…Johann, Charles, Richard, Eugen, Leonard, Anthony, Edward, Oliver even a Maximilian and a Ramses`. Laughed  and continued, ` all somewhere from the mists of time…and so many more. It is so confusing,  don`t you think?`

`Oh yes!…that`s what is bothering you?` I was relieved. `Well this has occurred to me`. I stopped and  lingered in thought.

You interrupted my thought.` We should meditate and receive our eternal names…the one that we really go by. Then there will be no confusion. We can leave Charles and Julianna, they have their diary going…but I think we should keep to one name otherwise. How do you feel about it?`

`Absolutely…we will meditate on it and we can tell each other next time we meet`.

 `Wonderful`, you got up and pulled me out of bed with you. `Now how about some wine. We still have a bottle in the basket. And  food `, you laughed ,`and music of course.` We went downstairs. There was the  round table that you made by hand one summer, from some fallen pine from the forest. We laid out all the food and wine. We ate, toasted, and of course kissed now and then between the food and the wine.  Then you put on Strauss on the gramophone …Tales from the Vienna Woods.

`We have our own tales don`t we…many in fact`.

`Yes…and more to come`.

`Finally here is our song. The Blue Danube `. You bowed in front of me. `May I have this waltz Kristina my love. As always, as ever`.

`Yes,  my dearest Johan. As always , as ever`. So we danced and danced  like we had at  so many previous balls, in numerous previous lives. But now, this night belonged to Strauss.

`This dancing is exhausting. I haven`t done any dancing in ages`.

`Well come here you, let me cool you with my kisses, and  do take this shirt off `, tugging at your shirt.

`What? Cool me with your kisses? I shall burst into flames at this rate`. You laughed.

`Mmm feel just as great as ever…even better`, as I kissed your chest. I could hear your heart beating.

`True, I have to do something before my heart explodes`. You put your arms around me and said gently,` come here you my love, my life . I have the perfect remedy`, pulling me down onto the rug.

`I think I shall love this remedy`.

`As I shall also. You just lie back and just feel and enjoy all the sensation that will be happening. Time that someone spoils you with love…and `tis I that will do that, that shall forever do that`.

I pushed you gently down onto the bed,`. No, it is I that shall spoil you first.`

You laid back, closed your eyes, and just took a deep sigh as you felt my hand, fingers gently touching your face. Feeling , stroking and gliding  my fingers over every part of that familiar face. Kissing those wondrous, beautiful eyes that appreciate and see so much beauty in this world.  Kissing your forehead that is filled with so many glorious words, ideas, thoughts. Kissed those warm lips that speak those ever intelligent words whereby which the world is so much richer.

You responded back with such passion, such tenderness, such love.  Our lips locking, hardly able to breath as the intensity grew with each moment. Running your fingers though my hair as I was showering kisses down onto your neck, ever so slowly and gently. `I love You so much. I always have`. You whispered those sweet words, pulling me close as our lips met once more.

I whispered in return in your ear, my lips lingering there with a kiss as you have always loved being kissed there. `I love you also, you my other self, my love, my life`.  Stroking, kissing every inch of  your chest, in which that heart beat so violently for me, for us, for love itself. I then removed the rest of your clothing. Kissing you further in all those hidden places, those private places, that are most familiar to me-- my mouth, my tongue  moving over every inch of you. Slowly each movement very deliberate, very sensual filled with passion. Just for you, always for you, never ever for anyone else.

 You, just lay there in the firelight just sighing as your breathing became heavier and heavier as the very passion itself was rising, lost in the moment.  I have to admit, in me also it created the same sensation, and I adored the feeling and what it was doing to me.  Feeling, touching every muscle, every fibre, every crease of your body that I know so well.  Your skin warm, filled with salty perspiration…I could taste it,  caused not by the fire, but the fire within your heart, and the fire in mine.

`God…this feels absolutely astounding, not just the physical part…the part of being feeling complete, being happy, filled with joy, being here with you.  This is what love is now I know…I know each time I am with you, I am ever reminded, yet I so often forget.  I have always known that I have never made love until I have made love with you, to you. I keep saying this each time we meet. I live for these times. As I told you sometime ago that I would come back from death itself for love. I surly have, for you, for us, for this.`

`Darling , I too often forget. But I know  it is temporary, for our soul remembers. Shall forever remember. Especially the depth of love I have for you. Sometimes during the day I stop for a moment, and catch myself and think how  is this all possible. How and why I am,  so blessed to be loved by you. To have this love for you, and you for me, that I cannot even understand myself. Why were we chosen for this? -and then I think deeper and I know we have this gift because we love God truly, who is love itself and we are just a grain of manifestation of that love that we are part of…we have just recognised it `.

You then slowly removed my kimono. There we were once more, as so many times before lying naked in each others arms, in front of that roaring fire. Kissing every part, every inch of my body in return, as I did yours. Your hands exploring, feeling, touching places where I forever want you to be, for ever to feel, to touch…be part of me. Making love to you forever.

`Darling `, you whispered, `I have put on Schubert`s Serenade once more on  for you. Whenever you hear it  think of me, of us, of this night always. Here in the Vienna Woods, in our lodge.`  Skin against skin, flesh against flesh. Feeling caressing, kissing each other. Kissing me, everywhere, wanting me as much  as I always want you .

 And wanting no longer as the strains of Schubert filled the room, and our very bodies became one, our very auras, our very life force. Our very heart beating in unison, being one in body, mind and spirit. Filling each other up with our very energy, becoming complete in the very essence of love, of loving, of being loved, of being pure love itself--we were part of all, part of every thing ever created, we for a brief moment became pure light as we shall one day be that together, I know for that is why we were created, and to remember the process for how we got to be back into the light of that complete light compelling light, of whom we are but a spark of.

I remember, I remember I exclaimed..... and suddenly I awoke from my dream.