We have our destiny mapped out by the Creator-the free will is how we choose to get there. I have studied and learned immense amounts in the past couple of months-and I feel I know nothing. But what little I have learnt makes perfect sense. The reason why I am posting excerpts from a piece which I wrote years ago, is because I wrote it without understanding it at a soul level -it was just innate response from my heart. Now -it is dictates of what is termed by the 6th sense which is more connected to the “divine light” which explains the “why”.
Written August 15/2013 in closed blog:” Clocks” titled -Union of Hearts.......only a some very small excerpts are re-posted here, not all for some things I said are no longer relevant nor do they exist for me.
~ I seem to be spending more of my free time in reflection lately. I suppose it is sort of a dialogue between my soul and oversoul--we are all different facets of a cube, at times one side is revealed at times another. This complexity seems to be increasing--be that because biologically we are getting older, or perhaps the soul is getting to be more "educated"--whatever it is --it is becoming more interesting, perhaps convoluted.The brain had more grey matter if it has more convolutions, it is then more intelligent--so maybe it isn`t entropy that is developing within creation, but increased convolution--as we strive towards more self awareness, self realization and shaking down our ego. This quest for God at times makes more sense in a pantheistic light at times, rather than a Christian explanation. It actually does make a lot of sense.~
And now I actually understand what I really had written, including some of Merton quotes. Spirituality does not exist-we are spirituality, which we are now remembering. It always was and always will be, our existence within the Creator is eternal. We just think we are separated, but we are not. Our ego is very cunning and tricky-and it is the cause of all the suffering , pain and lack of light. The Creator never banished us, the Creator never changed, the Creator is eternal, the Creator is always the same, the Creator is always love-we have changed. As ego grew-and we fell down through those five spiritual worlds (0+4), to which we have to climb back up to.
~I have to say these are the words of my own heart --from Merton:
"I love the aloneness of the night. In a way I cannot be without you: you are part of my life itself, and of my very loneliness. I know we are together in our hearts. ... To be alone in a solitude that is with you, though without your bodily presence, is certainly a special kind of freedom".~
Merton is right-one feels like that, and one should be honest. Say it all with truth and honesty- doing things merely to tie that person down, it is mere bondage-to keep the other person under any circumstance makes no sense at all.
Actually
this is what I should have said were I true to myself all those
years ago I now realize. One thing one should sat to each other : that
all our life we will consider each other most faithful, most loving
and most special friends, united by a deep and unique bond that was
made by God rather than by ourselves. It is on this level that I will
always love you, always think of you, always want to know how you are
and how things are going with you.
~Thomas
Merton wrote; "Love is our true destiny. We do not find the
meaning of life by ourselves alone—we find it with another. We do
not discover the secret of our lives merely by study and calculation
in our own isolated meditations. The meaning of our life is a secret
that has to be revealed to us in love, by the one we love. And if
this love is unreal, the secret will not be found, the meaning will
never reveal itself, the message will never be decoded. At best, we
will receive a scrambled and partial message, one that will deceive
and confuse us. We will never be fully real until we let
ourselves fall in love–either with another human person or with
God".~
Love is not being together physically, but spiritually. I
know we have a deep lasting union of hearts within God that we are
experiencing together, whether you believe it or not. I am filled
with you, as you are with me-and we are filled with God-one is a
reflection of the other, all one. I wonder how you feel? This is also
the reason why I would not like for you to be here in Toronto, it
gives us more freedom. Maybe I lived an illusion of love. Perhaps
being a romantic dreamer, but it is how I feel about you, and God.
That is why I spend and long for being alone, long for solitude
for that is why I spend more time being focused on God, on my own
spirit. I feel I am within contemplation continually these days. It
seems almost a place more real than this world. Not much interest me
of the world these days. I sort of have to be shaken back at times. I
want to stay in that separate part from the world, in that next
dimension at least one up.
I
want nothing, desire nothing-just "being". Just thinking,
praying and thoughts of other times. I realize I am not crazy,
for I only fear that maybe you are a bit more separate now being
wherever you are as to when you were in Colorado-you have joined the
world more-I hope I am wrong, whereas I have loosened the world more around me a little more. I feel
that we have reversed roles in a way-but that is fine; it all works
out in the end. But I know we are one, we are two parts of one
soul, no matter what, we shall be united, we are united-as all souls
will be eventually united . That is the plan of our Creator.
